End-of-year class gift drama

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My DS is in Year 1, and some parents from his class are trying to organise a group gift for his two teachers (it's a job share, so both teachers are part time).

The organiser of the gift has sent a message in the class group chat with the name of the student and how much they have contributed for the gift. Ranging from 10-40 pounds depending on the family. Next to the names families that didn't contribute there was written 'nothing'.
e.g. John - 30
Thomas - Nothing
Camille - 20
etc.

This upset a lot of parents and the group is blowing up. The organiser also rang each parent individually to ask if they would contribute to the gift. The current amount is 355 pounds, which I think is a very large amount for an end of year gift, even when split between two teachers. I'm a teacher and usually only get a few boxes of chocolates, and wouldn't expect anything more.

I think this is insane behaviour and publishing the amounts people gave is really problematic.

AIBU - This is completely normal and you should suck it up if you aren't the one organising the gift
Not unreasonable - This is insane and totally inappropriate for an end-of-year gift.

I actually wish our school would step in and limit the gifts. Going rate seems to be £10 a head and some teachers are getting pretty lavish gifts. In any other public sector organisation I’ve worked in, people are not allowed to accept those sorts of gifts so I am surprised it seems to be allowed at school.

The woman who runs our collection insists on having the names of all the children who contributed to add to the card. I said we should just have it as a class gift from all the children so the ones who couldn't contribute still get included. My comments were not well received!

Oh right - I did only skim. But you're not in the UK, is that right? I guess it's still not the norm if the group has blown up.

Laughed out loud at "nothing" as it's so mad to think this is ok

Hopefully the ones that have been named and shamed will comment with "we are not giving nothing, we are giving our own personal gift" to shut Amanda and her monkeys the organiser up

That is so wildly inappropriate, much as I try not to get involved in school WhatsApp dramas, I think I would have to say something.

Teacher here. This is ridiculous. Teachers in question would be appalled. Naming and shaming people is out of order too. The amounts are ridiculous.

We’ve had this with £10-15 recommended per person. Always adds up to a lot. Sometimes I partake, sometimes we give something else (homemade or bought) or just a card.

Pretty much all teachers go above and beyond.

Most teachers work way over their contracted hours on a regular week, and then volunteer their own time to go on residentials, organise school trips, run extra-curricular clubs, attend school fetes and after-school performances and spend their own money on resources. That's before taking into consideration the love and care that most primary school teachers have for each student, looking out for their welfare and noticing little things. DD is in Reception and the teachers are endlessly patient and loving to the children and have supported them no end with their transition to school.

Schools run on good will. Most of the best things about schools would cease to exist if teachers stopped giving out of their own hearts with no rewards.

If putting a few quid into a collection at the end of the year gives them the opportunity to treat themselves over the summer and lets them know all their hard work has been noticed and appreciated, then I'll always give whatever I can.

I think you should do something, the list creator is either oblivious to the fact that is potentially shaming for people who haven’t/ can’t contribute larger amounts, or is aware and is doing deliberately. Either way, you should say that whilst you’re happy to contribute, you don’t think the amount or the fact that you’ve contributed should be public, and that it puts some people, including those who are less well off, in a difficult position.
Id also contact the head and raise the issue - I’m sure the school wouldn’t want parents humiliated in this way. Most schools have a limit about how much a teacher can accept by way of gift.

£60 from a whole class? It would cost more than that to buy a card for your child to write.

Will they provide that list to the teacher as well?
Wonder if there is a GDPR issue?

I have 4 DCs and always did my own thing (often juice from our farm) - no cash. My contrubution wasn't 'nothing' and didnt indicate my finacial status which is comfortable. I would request that the organiser removes the list and apologises to everyone.

It gets worse in the last year - money for x mas gifts, then the personal leaving gifts for the teachers - then the leaving gift for a school - ususally a substantial piece of equipment, money for the leavers tea, money for the leavers hoodies.

Just grim.

Maybe they were just trying to be transparent. It’s possible they’ve been told off for not updating people in the past (just being devils
advocate!) it’s not an ideal thing to do and it would be worth messaging privately to explain this makes people feel bad.

I think £200 per teacher from 30 kids seems fair. A group gift saves the card/ gift bag from each child which would be at least £5!

I am a teacher. I don’t get anything as I don’t have a class anymore. However, my Children are at nursery and I make sure to buy nice gifts at each occasion for all of the room staff. It’s expensive at the moment but will get cheaper as the kids get older! I feel it’s really important to show my gratitude as they work so bloody hard for my kids.

Where on earth do you buy cards?
They're like 79p in Card Factory.

I'd be leaving the group chat

Card shops? The supermarket? Normal places where cards don’t look hideously cheap.

My mother was a head teacher at an infant school and hated it every end of year when little ones (like year 1s) would say to the teacher "I'm going to bring you a present tomorrow, Mrs Lizard" when they saw other gifts being brought in as she knew full well the family couldn't afford it and a gift wouldn't be coming. She felt for the child. So she put a stop to it. What she asked that if anyone wanted to show their appreciation at the end of the school year they left to go to the next one, they could gift a book to the school library and a sticker was put in the book saying it had been donated by Childs Name and the year. The school library benefited, the parents benefited (as you could buy a 20p book from a charity shop), the teachers didn't get a whole load of crap they didn't really want and it got rid of ridiculous scenerios such as this.

Honestly end of year gift - Marks and Spencer’s voucher. Never fails. Amount depends on how good the teacher is.

I have the class group chat muted for peace of mind, it’s DHs job to check it because there are some absolutely insane specimens in that chat. But to be honest if I saw this I would probably be inclined to say something even if I’d given money. What a freak.

Muting the chat and delegating it as a man job was a good decision for me.

Totally reasonable to make a small contribution towards a small gift, but to list people and the amounts they have contributed is totally unacceptable.

Same here! I asked to have it signed from the whole class and each child’s name is listed individually IF they contributed 🤢. I hate it!

I’ve organised my fair share of teacher collections and this is No. This isn’t how it should ever be done.
However, I would suggest keeping out of it if possible. School parent dramas not worth the head space.

Exactly - WhatsApp and other parent group are nothing but trouble. DT’s school sent a message out saying that teachers very much appreciate that parents may want to thank teachers at the end of the school year however gifts are unnecessary and should any parent want to give a gift, a book for the school library would be appreciated by teachers and pupils. Worked really well

Just posted the same idea - don’t know why more schools don’t do it. Everyone benefits without any drama.

Bullshit. Fire your class rep (or ask them to stand down). Our private school annual collection for teachers is optional, you can donate any amount, names go onto the card, with thank you messages from kids.

Wow that’s awful! I’ve organised a fair few and just say - if you want to give please send me £5-£10 or whatever feels right. I give a deadline and send a general reminder but would never pressure anyone to join in and certainly wouldn’t name and shame!