End-of-year class gift drama

[bathroomadviceneeded]

My DS is in Year 1, and some parents from his class are trying to organise a group gift for his two teachers (it's a job share, so both teachers are part time).

The organiser of the gift has sent a message in the class group chat with the name of the student and how much they have contributed for the gift. Ranging from 10-40 pounds depending on the family. Next to the names families that didn't contribute there was written 'nothing'.
e.g. John - 30
Thomas - Nothing
Camille - 20
etc.

This upset a lot of parents and the group is blowing up. The organiser also rang each parent individually to ask if they would contribute to the gift. The current amount is 355 pounds, which I think is a very large amount for an end of year gift, even when split between two teachers. I'm a teacher and usually only get a few boxes of chocolates, and wouldn't expect anything more.

I think this is insane behaviour and publishing the amounts people gave is really problematic.

AIBU - This is completely normal and you should suck it up if you aren't the one organising the gift
Not unreasonable - This is insane and totally inappropriate for an end-of-year gift.

I was a big fan of class teacher whip-rounds in Primary, mostly because I couldn't be arsed to find a gift myself (although I did take my turn at collecting and buying gifts).

We just bought a card and only got the kids of families who had contributed to the kitty sign it.

Usually the ones who didn't chip in had already bought something, which is obviously fine. No pressure was put on at all, it was more of a convenience thing.

Really no need to 'out' anyone for not contributing or publishing amounts given.

That's just asking for trouble.

I was in Early Years teaching for 40 years. Our local Authority set a limit on gifts received from parents. The limit was £20.
The amount they have raised is excessive. I wouldn't give to this. Let them print 'nothing ' beside it if they want. Buy 2 thank you cards and some decent quality chocolates or flowers and hand those in from your family. That's plenty!!

£40!?! Sounds madness if I was the teacher id feel uncomfortable with this size of a gift too.

The naming and shaming is nuts. Tbh it would make me reconsider a contribution at all and would just sent chocolates and a card.

Avoid full batshit organiser

This is bang out of order, putting amounts next to names, madness!

I wasn't comparing the work done by teachers and health professionals, but was referring to the motivation behind people buying gifts because they want to thank them. Someone who has been a big part of your child's life for 10-11 months will have more of a personal connection for most parents.

A
Any teacher who gets given an expensive present of that amount of money would be absolutely aghast!!! What’s wrong with £1 per child??? ( so £20-£30 max) .
I speak as a TA. School staff really do not expect to get anything. A little handmade card that the child has made is always lovely, though.

Why not let everyone sign the card - some families may not be able to afford to contribute to a class gift or buy their own present.

But it's the same for health professionals, many of whom have child patients, many patients, adult and child, are longterm, even lifelong, still no gifts allowed! In the situation described by OP it's got completely out of hand and I have heard of this happening elsewhere too

I agree with the post that the school would be horrified.

It ruins the intent. I assume (hopefully if they are appropriate) that the intended teacher 'recipients' on receiving such 'showy' extravagant gifts will be (quite rightfully) mortified!

It sets up a position of ostracising parents/ their children.

Very inappropriate on so many levels. The school should be quietly and tactfully informed. The excessive amounts should be transferred back (or at least in part) Maybe a fiver (or maximum tenner) allowed, but no more. And as other posters have said 'signed from the whole class' No shaming and excluding names because they haven't produced!

Plus it's just easier! I'm usually the one stuck with organising the collection. I sign the card "love from all of [animal name] class". I'm not faffing about working out which parents' named have appeared in my online banking, matching that to the child and writing out just their names.

I used to organise the teacher gifts when mine were in primary school. I’d send a message around saying collection if you want to contribute, no problem if not. Suggested contribution £10 but anything is fine! The total (usually around £280 as most people joined in) would be split between teachers/TA in the class.
Always worked well and no drama, I would send a reminder to the group chat for anyone who “wanted to contribute but hadn’t yet” a few weeks later then leave it at that.
No need for shaming people or saying how much anyone has contributed, it’s petty!

This happened at our school too and is the reason I no longer contribute to class gifts. I could afford to contribute but very aware that others may not be able to. Despite the "gift" supposedly being from the children the organisers decided they would only list names of the children whose parents contributed. To me it's either from the whole class or it should be individual gifts. I don't really like the whole gift thing but it definitely shouldn't be making people feel shame because they haven't contributed.

It's an insane response to an already insane budget for an end of year gift for two teachers.

Saving some of the pot for Christmas rather than harassing parents further would be a more appropriate response.

Sounds really toxic and I’d have no part of it. People with nothing better to do trying to shame others. Stupid and pathetic.

Trust me when I say teachers would rather have nothing than adults acting like idiots.

Ok thats insane. My husband teaches and at the most he might buy some art supplies for a special actitvity which he is supposed to submit reciepts for and claim back the money (but never does...).

Why is the school (or parents association via fundraisers) not buying these items? Is it a very deprived school?

Were you buying 30 birthday cards every year for your students? In 18 years of school never received a card from a teacher...

Many schools are struggling with their budgets - less office staff, minimal repairs and not extra resources for art, classroom displays. Not all schools have a PTA and some which do are funding books and materials for lessons.

what we do it put out a reminder of a set amount. So organiser will say, ‘ we have collection for 19 kids (out of 25) and last date to contribute is X for the card’ . So not pointing out anyone but also saying you won’t go on the card.

its fair, if you don’t pay then you shouldn’t go on the card?

@Energywise it's a bit unfair for the child who through no fault of their own has parents who cannot afford to donate anything.
In fact I think it's really mean and selfish not include all the children's names.

Absolutely batshit crazy. Someone needs to call the organiser out on this behaviour.

@booksunderthebed that was normal when I qualified. Some colleagues were given a ream of A4 paper and when it was gone, that was it, no more paper for photocopying unless they bought their own.
I bought cheap 25p birthday cards and we had a class cake (that I'd made!) with candles for each child. Some were from families who were chaotic and didn't get their birthday celebrated. Some simply couldn't afford a celebration. We were serving one of the 10 most deprived wards in England so poverty was the norm rather than the exception.
This last fortnight I've seen posts from next year's probationers on Facebook asking for cushions, beanbags, jigsaws, all sorts. It's still common for teachers to subside their classroom. Schools have still not caught up to where they would have been, had there not been years of austerity, despite funding having increased in the last few years.

Ridiculous. We all put a £5 max for end of year collections

I don't contribute to Christmas collections

You dictate a set amount - who decides? What if a parent wants to contribute but can’t afford your set amount? Is their contribution not valued?

Why bother working out the list of who is on and who isn't though? Just sign it from the whole class. If you've contributed and Tom's parents haven't do you really care if it says "from all of Fox class" rather than from a list of names?

There's no way I could be arsed to double check the names of everyone who pays in and then remember which is their child and write out those specific names. Pointless.

Then the gift is not from them.

You would exclude a child who couldn’t afford to contribute - cruel!