New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

[dtarer]

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

It is NOT your fault.
I get this all the time. A quick look would be O.K. (even women do that) but some men are OBSESSED. I'm not particularly "big" there but I am, in the words of one of my female friends, "a curvaceous lass", and unfortunately this leads to boys and men just STARING as if they think I'm going to say "oh wow you like my boobs - how would you like to play with them?".
I'm really pleased that one boy at school was reprimanded by both the headmaster and his father for commenting on them.

Omg yeah this is not work attire OP 😅

Think I’d stare, too.

Unless you wear a white vest underneath it or something like that?

no in an interview situation with someone in a vest top, it was 20 years ago and i still cringe about it

This made me lol.

Me too. But I'd just be constantly staring in disbelief that someone would have their boobs out like that in a workplace. Well, having said that, what's the workplace? Because if it's house mum at Hooters, it's probably bang on...

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Completely appropriate for work....

If you work in hooters!!!!

Ffs this isn't be real!

Wow that top is really inappropriate business attire. Looks like something you’d wear on a date or night out.

He shouldn’t be staring but that top is too low cut for work.

Yes that top is inappropriate for work.

Yes

And I would think you'd know that

It’s certainly not your fault that a man was staring at your breasts - in any setting, let alone a professional one! Men are solely responsible for their behaviour.

May well constitute sexual harassment at work.

However, I’d never wear a low cut top at work, in order to avoid sexualising myself. I’d wear a round neck or button up.

I wouldn’t wear that to work and in my previous work setting and current one I would be asked not to wear something that revealing.
If your work place don’t mind what you wear then it’s great that you wore something that you felt comfortable in, however if you don’t want anyone ‘admiring’ your cleavage, the simplest thing would be to wear something a different style if you’re going to come across people who lack the manners to concentrate on your face.

Trevor....what do you really wear for work when you are driving that truck?

Same 😂😂

Having seen the picture of the top I'm assuming the OP is winding is up.

Of course that's not suitable workwear and OP must be fully aware when she wears things like that for work that men are going to look at her breasts.

Yes he shouldn't have stared but why the faux naivety OP?

I have always had big boobs. 32G at the smallest. I always attracted bad ogly behaviour that I didn't know what to do about. I have never worn any clothes showing cleavage but that never stopped the men. I have also had breast cancer twice, and am post menopausal which has given me freedom. My reaction now would be "Oi. Eyes up" in a loud carrying voice.

A former colleague had a similar problem with a man from the accounts department. He was a notorious ogler.
One day she just said ‘Is there a problem with my tits Mark?’
it was amazing. He was so embarrassed!

Just say excuse me do you think it is possible for you to look to my face and not my chest! Say it in front off other people!! Believe me he won’t do it again. All ways shame men that do this !!

Too low for work op

i find even if I wear a vest top it moves with some tops

No, that's not appropriate for work, put a vest top underneath l to make it more work appropriate.

well if the former colleague was dressed like the photo posted, Marc should have just responded that 'Yes Sandra, put some clothes on, this is not Hooters'

Inappropriate , you did ask

I wouldn't wear that to a party!

First MN post OP?

Same.

I have fake boobs and a small frame, but I know the look it creates and I knew I would get stared at more. Anyone would.

Getting my tits out in a top like OP has posted and pretending it shouldn't make anyone stare, is utter crap. It's irrelevant whether it's a man or a woman staring. If I walked into my office, daytime, with my tits out like that, every single person would stare. My accounts assistant, a very prim and proper woman, would most likely ask me what on earth I thought I was wearing.