New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

[dtarer]

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

youre very funny. fashion is a form of free speech. what are you saying.

Call him out on it in the meeting

Men, they will stare, it doesn't make them all perverts and predators. They were on display, this blouse shows a bit too much for an professional setting. This is my opinion, I am a much heavier busted woman, I prefer v-neck ,but plunging neck line at work is a no. I wish woman would stop constantly bashing men, they will look, that is what they do. He made you uncomfortable, really? It is apparent you wear this blouse often, it compliments you, so does this mean you also feel uncomfortable walking down the street, or a function outside of work wearing this blouse ? But you wear it anyway to work, knowing it makes you uncomfortable when people (men) see you out in public and look and or stare ? If you show, they are going to look, stare, no it's not nice, you should have called it to his attention " Do you mind not staring at my breasts, thanks " I would have

In my books. Looking is normal and even a well behaved man would find it hard to resist.

What's definitely 100% wrong would be touching without permission and taking photos

Unfortunately, whatever we may think or say, some men will look/stare at cleavage/legs/bottom. Up to you what you do about it, but it won't stop happening with some men.

The colleague is pathetic/sleazy/puerile. You are showing a lot of cleavage for work. Now, the two things are linked. They shouldn't be. Do you mind your cleavage being stared at? If you don't, carry on showing your cleavage. If you do, either cover up or think of some lines to use if he does it again. When it happened to me, I said 'How would it be if I spent the next meeting staring at your crotch?' (It was a stand-up meeting.) That was the end of it.

Why aren’t the old colleagues staring …?

No it wasn’t, I don’t think you understand

Thank you!!’

Thats such a hideous, internalised misogynistic thing to say. I feel really sorry for you

Odfod.

I have big boobs. I have to wear high necked tops if I don't want to show any cleavage at all.

My husband and I can both wear plain white work shirts with the top two buttons undone. I will clearly have a lot more chest to look at. Because it's there. Because it exists. Not because I'm showing it off.

I often wear really high necked tops even in hot weather because of nasty judgemental wankers who assume being well endowed is some sort of symbol of sexual availability. I truly hope you're ashamed of yourself. Your opinions actively curtail the way that women like me live.

I am a 38gg and manage to clothe myself everyday without displaying cleavage unless I want to. Saying you can't help it is such a cop out.

That depends on so many things though
where your boobs sit, the shape of them, how far apart they are, what size, how high on your chest etc

mine are the size of my head and sit higher up and close together so it’s a lot harder to dress. Shirts or anything with buttons are out, I have cleavage in every single scoop or v neck. I’m not wearing a polo neck or slash neck or I look like a walking pair of boobs
not to mention finding clothes that fit in the first place on my waist and bust (please bravissimo bring back clothes!)