New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

[dtarer]

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

I’m in my 20s and wouldn’t wear that to work. I think it doesn’t give off the best impression. It looks like you’re going to work at 9am then the bar at 5:15pm.

I started dressing as bland and plain as possible to work and ultimately got promoted to a senior leadership position at a young age. I think looking too nice/attractive at work, can work against you sometimes.

Wearing a top like yours isn’t raunchy but it’s just not what I’d envisage wearing somewhere where I want to be taken seriously. I don’t have particularly big boobs either. I have some colleagues who are overweight and show cleavage in everything they wear. I do think it looks sloppy & unprofessional. No one at work needs to know what your chest looks like.

But it’s totally this weirdo colleague’s fault for staring and making you feel uncomfortable though.

It’s never ok at work.

It’s just not me in that pic. It’s probably AI. I don’t look like that in that top.

Cleavage is never acceptable at work unless you’re a bartender or something. In most offices you would be pulled aside and reminded of the dress code, and then written up if you continued to wear inappropriate tops to work.

I agree!

I cant stop looking at cleavages when they are slightly displayed.

I dont want to look at them. But my eyes are drawn to them. I cant seem to help it

I think the op enjoys showing off her physique!
she knows full well that top is inappropriate for work/school functions.
she obviously likes the attention from men 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Unless you are Katie Price posing for a photo shoot then no that too is not appropriate for work.

This would be like a man wearing a codpiece over his trousers.

I think the top you showed is inappropriate for work.

Its ok maybe for a night out. But not at work.

I would definitely be called into a meeting if i wore that.

Youre totally not wrong to wear what you think is nice and flattering for your shape and as a PP said doesn’t excuse a grown man being transfixed but honestly having worked in offices for 30 years now, with all different shaped women, I have never seen anyone ever bare so much of their front other than a woman in her early 20s (in the 90s!) who had quite a disproportionately large bust and who was at that age she just wanted to wear fun tops the other girls were wearing and didn’t care that her shape though meant she was bulging out of them! Funny thing is there was this really sweet hard working helpful guy in his early 40s (she and I were 20s) but whenever she wore a revealing top, he just became sort of mesmerised- it was quite fascinating to watch actually! So part of me doesn’t want to hate on every man just because of my memory of him as he honestly otherwise barely looked at anyone and just focused on work or you if you needed help!

If it were me, I would put a vest top underneath if you love the tops and still want to wear them.

Good god, yes, very inappropriate for work.
Unless your job is to make money off your tits.

yes. yes you could have stopped looking.

No cleavage at work. Ever. You can buy modesty panels to put inside tops/dresses to mimic a cami if a cami wouldn't work under or if it's too warm. But no, cleavage at work is not ok.

BUT the man shouldn't have been staring either. That isn't your fault.

That wouldn't be appropriate where I work.

I work in a school mind.

Yes it is inappropriate for work.

It’s nice for a party a bit Kat Slater for work!

It is a bit low for work, in my opinion.

I'm the same!

That photo may not be you, but it's clear that the model could wear something with a higher neck line that isn't a crew neck or polo. I work in a school with a mainly female staff. No one shows any cleavage, it's not that hard.

And I find cleavage distracting and find it hard not to look. I'm not into women sexually (though admit I have a bit of large boob envy, not being generously endowed).

I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage

Somehow, in all the 40+ years I was working, I always managed to avoid this. Perhaps you need to buy bigger clothes?

Yes! 😅

At best you look unprofessional

at worst you look cheap, attention grabbing and tacky

if you don't look like that then why post that picture? But yes, I'd consider that not appropriate.

Breasts have a lot of power don't they. They completely stop people in their tracks.

I have very large boobs. If i wear anything even showing their outline, men and some women , are absolutely transfixed. It's like they are in a daze.