New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

[dtarer]

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

Honestly? Yes I think that's too low cut for an office/ school or similar

Breasts are for feeding babies.

It's interesting . Breasts have become sexualised in western society, so women must cover them up.

In some other countries, breasts are not sexuslised at all, so women will walk around with their breasts completely out.

It really depends on the culture that you live in

Breasts have become sexualised and women go along with that. That top doesn't exist to make breast feeding easier. It exists because some women think it makes them look sexy.

Men are attracted to breasts because biologically they are a sign that a woman can feed the young babies well.

Arf.

Agree. Arf, arf.

Stole my post before I could type it!

No, he shouldn't be staring but that neckline is inappropriate for work. I would never wear something so revealing.

I’m changing my mind between real and fake boobs here. So if you have enhanced your breasts and wear clothes like that then you’re looking for attention and the blouse is a flaunt. Thats a no. If you born well endowed then you wear whatever is the most comfortable to you. I just realized the difference and it makes a big difference. Fake or real. Real is a flaunt, real is what it is

I meant fake is a flaunt, real isn’t. I tried to fix my edit but I did something wrong

Yeah, they really are

Where in a civilized society does this happen with modern technology.

No they really aren't.

Their function is to feed babies.

Feeding and food are not sexual things.

At some stage, western society took a strange turn and started sexualising breasts.

We just see them as sexy now because we are told to see them as sexy.

Mine? Shows zero cleavage (due to my complete lack of boob) but happy to be told.

“Jim, Jim?”
He looks at your face
Gesture with your hand toward your head: “I’m up here…”
Job done!

Never mind the blokes, as a straight female I don't wanna see your udders flapping about whilst I'm trying to work, just like I wouldn't want to see your arse crack. Its fucking grim seeing women's crevices 😤

If you don't want PEOPLE to look at a part of your body, don't expose it!

I wear cropped camies under them for this reason. Various colours for different tops & dresses.

It's not just Western society. And arguing they're just for feeding babies is a bit pointless unless that's what they're actually being used for. The woman in the black top is drawing attention to her breasts.

Yes, a camisole underneath would have been appropriate. That is too much cleavage for bussiness attire.

I am a straight woman and I never get the obsession with boobs but when the girls are on show, they distract me. I had a zoom recently with someone who had a very unflattering camera angle and despite the topic being quite serious, her cleavage got in the way.

I just realized the difference and it makes a big difference. Fake or real. Real is a flaunt, real is what it is

eh no, I'm a very natural G-cup and if I wear a plunge bra and a top like on the photo, I'm very much flaunting what nature gave me.

I would not do it in the office though.

As someone with a large chest of definitely consider that inappropriate for work. That's very very cleavagey

There is no way I would wear that for work. Nobody should be staring at you, but that top is inappropriate. You need to wear a camisole underneath it or find something else to wear. I have lots of clothes that I wouldn’t wear for work, fine for a night out but not find in a working environment,
Having said that, the man was totally out of order.

Definitely not, if you were going out for drinks with friends (and actually is say if you were going out for drinks with friends in 2010 maybe) it'd be suitable.

It's very revealing and a very dated shape too I'd say.

Should your colleague stare? No, however I might stare a little not because I was assessing your assets but because I'd be thinking how inappropriate the top is.

Kindly, if you display your cleavage, men are going to look or stare. They just will.
If you don't like it, wear something more modest, problem solved.
Keep your lower cut tops for outside work.