New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

[dtarer]

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

Yes of course it is. Can't believe you think it might be ok. It's as inappropriate as if a man with a massive package was to wear really tight shorts and had a bulging crotch.

I was going to go say the same thing as well

1. He's completely in the wrong for staring. What a pig.
2. The top is inappropriate for work (but this doesn't make 1 any less true).

not really work attire is it tho !

I was once part of a complaint about a male colleague who did just this. It applies to everyone.

We're not in the 10th century now so you should be able to wear your tops.
Even in today's enlightened times I feel sad reading posts like this. 🙄

I disagree that today's times are enlightened, and also in a professional environment one should be wearing professional attire, not revealing, clingy clothing. Showing your cleavage at work is on the same level or inappropriateness of showing your butt-crack at work. Would you show your buttcrack at work?

Q. Why do women’s clothes emphasise body parts?

A. Because men are aroused by visual stimulus and women must constantly be appraised for desirability

Q. Why do women wear clothes which reveal or emphasise body parts?

A. Because women want to score high in the appraisal men are giving them.

Q. So is this appropriate at work?

A. Fuck no. No no no.

I suspect the OP knows the top is inappropriate for work and is getting off on all the traffic this post is generating. Just saying.

After all, what kind of responsible adult (who is presumably smart enough to have a job), would need to ask strangers on the internet about her top AND supply pics of her in it?? Sounds incredibly self-indulgent and attention seeking..

I agree that men ahouldnt stare at your cleavage.
However, we know that some men are seedy fuckers, mysogynist judgemental arse holes and dirty bastards. Therefore, personally, I would not be wearing a top with cleavage to work sadly as i wouldnt want this unwanted attention from bellends.

I would say cleavage is not suitable for work. I got a rack too but anything i wear for work if shows cleavage I wear a vest or put a pin in it. I think, if i went to doctors for example and they were showing cleavage i would not think it was suitable for a professional setting.

The design of your top, combined with the colour , does just a little bit focus the gaze of the onlooker on a particular area. Just a little bit. Badly disciplined, mindless onlooker. Rude, sexist onlooker. Badly controlled gaze. Completely out of order

Massively inappropriate. You are one step from having them out. You hold some responsibility for this.

It's a bit like locking your front door. People shouldn't steal, but they do, so you play your part in prevention.

Yes

It is inappropriate.

Thats such misogynistic bullshit

You asked, you got answers. Just because you don’t like the answers doesn’t mean people are calling you a slag. I’d agree, tho, that is a going out top, not an office top. Colleagues should not be staring, it’s very unprofessional, but I’m not amazed if he’s a bit fascinated with that deep a cleavage on show. I wore this top to work yesterday and wondered if it was too much, but it shows absolutely zero, while being a nice square cut.

This. If he was wearing trousers a 1970s rock star would like ( cock and balls bulge clearly visible ) that would be inappropriate too. You have breasts. Visible nipples, cleavage , camel toe , exposed thong top etc etc have no place in the workplace.

Perhaps he was hungry.

Boobs aren’t a sexual thing though are they

Sorry but it is inappropriate for work. I don’t have cleavage but I still wouldn’t wear that to work. Just like I wouldn’t wear a dress/skirt above my knee. Lovely top though. Of course women can wear what they want, but in their own time. But I guess difficult to judge depending on what you do. I work in an office and have to see members of the public in a professional capacity. No way would I feel comfortable going to meetings wearing that. And I don’t see any other women doing so.
But if you feel comfortable and your workplace hasn’t said anything then go for it.

No he shouldn’t have been staring but some men are pigs. We all know this and therefore expect that some will stare at breasts (doesn’t make it ok but that’s never gonna change unfortunately)

Cleavages will always be noticed and mostly admired so we have to expect this if we show them off, just the way it is.

The majority of interested viewers will be discreet, some won't.

So yes, if you choose to do this you will get attention, whether at work or partying. It's not a fault, simply what happens. Xxx

Not for babies, just for everyone else. The vast majority of people do not look at cleavage and think of milk.

I've had men looking at my breasts even when "hidden" under jumpers or normal tee shirts.

Don't be ridiculous. Breasts are sexualised and everyone knows that- including women who choose to wear tops like that.