New colleague staring at my cleavage- is this my fault ?

[dtarer]

I sometimes wear tops that show some cleavage. It’s hard to avoid in most tops that aren’t super high cut.

I notice men sometimes look. But today in a meeting, a man did not stop staring.

his gaze was fixed the entire time he was talking to me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

I somehow feel it’s my fault this happened. But I really love this top and I don’t think it’s obscene. I find it hard to avoid showing some cleavage, especially in summer. It just suits my shape somehow.

I’ll post a pic of the top if it will let me.

… and yet, amazingly, it’s still here.

My old manager used to do this. I used to snap my fingers and say "eyes up here!"

He thought it was funny 🙄

TBF OP just said her workplace isn't "smart". She also asked if it was appropriate - and she works there. To me it's a going out in the evening type of outfit so would be suitable for that kind of work environment. I wouldn't wear it in a more relaxed work environment either as it's slightly dressy. It's not risque though IMO, just quite low cut.

Obviously the major problem is the man staring at her frontage not what she was wearing.

I do find it odd to ask the question and then get snippy with posters though.

If you want a subtle way of letting him know you know (and snapping him out of the stare), cross your arms in front, over your boobs (that’s what I did to a teacher who was staring at me when I was 16, popped his gaze right back up to mine after that! He got the message!)

It’s lovely and great for going out.

Not for work though.

But he shouldn’t be staring!

😂😂

I know it’s not you.

Doesn’t change anything.

Yes, too low cut for work. Camisole or clippable piece of lace (they sell them on Amazon) is your friend here. Camisole too hot for this weather.

Oh I didn't know the clippable bits of lace existed! That might remedy some of my tops!

Of course he shouldn't stare but if you had a cleaner at home and she wore mini skirts and revealing tops would you feel it appropriate, especially if you have a male partner or adult son in the house?

I’m a 32 H and no, I would never wear a top that revealing to work. It’s inappropriate.

Agree. It would also be inappropriate for a man to wear his shirt unbuttoned that far at work, to be fair. It looks like a top for cocktails or dinner, not really for work.

Yes. Its too low cut.
The bloke shouldn't stare but also you should dress appropriately for work

I think it's inappropriate for business attire, it looks unprofessional. Men will look, glance and hopefully glance away, staring is not on.

Loads of options if you Google "lace insert for low cut top" or similar.

😂😂😂

It’s not a revealing top or a mini skirt though is it

In my book as a woman i think it's only natural that a man will look. What's unacceptable is taking photos, touching or saying anything at all.

If a man just looks at what's available, I think it's natural. They are biologically wired to be more attracted to the visual. That doesn't excuse inappropriate behaviour though. But they will look.

You could tell. Great for you. What do you want? A medal or a chest to pin it on...

What a weird comment- you think it's essential to have your tits on display to have a night out ?

I’ll be honest OP, I’m a woman and would find it hard not to look. You have a great body. And if as a straight woman I’m thinking that then so will men

I

Sorry op caught up now and have seen you say it’s not you in the picture!

It's not op in the photo

It would also be inappropriate for a man to wear his shirt unbuttoned that far at work, to be fair.

Absolutely. If a man wore his shirt unbuttoned this far at work, that would be unreasonable. I wouldn't want to see that much of his flesh on show. Just like the OP.