Hello everyone
Buckle up this may be a long one.
My friends and I are going on our annual long weekend abroad. We have known each other since we were teenagers and are now all 30’s and married with kids. There is 6 of us total.
My friend in question, let’s call her Mary. Mary has several holidays a year and eats out etc at least 3 nights a week. She has been like that since we were teenagers and would go clubbing more nights a week than not yet claims she can’t afford xyz. She’s always been financially impulsive like this but I also understand everyone’s financial situations and priorities are different. The reason I have mentioned this will be relevant towards the end of the post. Her travel plans to the airport have fallen through, neither her nor her DH drive so she can’t drive and she said she cannot afford a cab, refuses to get rail replacement or a bus or coach because she can’t do those, suggested she takes a travel sickness tablet but she said she can’t take those. She also has never suffered from travel sickness in all the time I’ve known her (since school) but I’m aware this can change. She doesn’t live locally to us any more but none of us live closer than an hour to each other but requested one of us drive to central London to pick her up the night before (a four hour round trip on a good day). Due to work and childcare commitments, none of us will be able to pick her up the night before anyway but none of us could house her either. I am the only one with spare rooms but we will be having large building works at the time so we won’t have any space for an extra person.
She says she can’t afford a hotel so can’t stay at the airport the night before. Back to the point, I was supposed to be sharing a suitcase with her, only going Friday to Monday so no point having a large checked bag to myself so we were going to share. Unfortunately as she doesn’t think she’ll be able to make the holiday now, she’s requested I pay her back the £50 for her half of the suitcase (I booked but she transferred) as she won’t be using the suitcase now if she won’t be coming and she’s already losing out money for cancelling her holiday. I am sympathetic because a few hundred pounds is a lot to lose but equally especially with our current renovations, I haven’t financially planned to lose an extra £50 when I won’t be using the whole suitcase anyway but she is demanding I pay her £50. I don’t want to lose a friendship over this, we’ve been close for ages, bridesmaids at each other’s weddings etc but equally especially with the holidays coming up and paying for childcare/ entertainment for the kids on top of our existing renovations I don’t want to lose £50.
For context, the remaining four in my group and work collegues etc think I shouldn’t have to pay Mary £50 because if she’s cancelling her holiday, that’s not to do with me as unfortunate as it is but I’m keen to hear an outsider’s POV.
YABU- I should pay Mary £50 because she’s not using the suitcase anymore
YANBU- don’t pay Mary £50
Thank you lovelies!