Wedding gift list asking for cash

[Liveandletlive25]

How much is normal to give?
We’re a family of 5 going to the whole wedding.
Thanks

No, I’m in the UK. I really never knew this, thank you

£200

Thank you. I've no idea where this has come from. A gift is just that, not based on how much the wedding has cost! Imagine if there was a couple on limited means, you'd give them a lesser gift than people who could afford to splash out and have a fancy venue? That can't be right.

I think asking for cash now is normal, gone are the days of toasters and pots and pans. People usually live together first and don't need lots of stuff so why bother wasting people's time choosing something that they don't want. I would rather know that any hard earned money I give is going towards something they do want.

We usually give £100 as a couple. We have 3 kids too and, although they have never been invited to a wedding, I would up it to £150 if they were. I know it's not about 'covering your plate' as such but I would like the gift to reflect how many people are invited.

I would agree, @Purpleturtle43 . Nowadays it's rarely about the couple starting out in life, so it's usually contributions for the honeymoon. I think £100 sounds about right, but will depend on how close you are and personal circumstances.

Five people are attending and 50 is the amount being given? I think that's really on the very low side. I'd put at least 250 in a nice card.

I'm wondering if 3 of those are children, though?

I'd still give at least that.

We go with £250 for friends and £500 for family and closer friends.
I prefer giving cash rather than a present, so much easier as a guest!

As I said, I suppose it also depends on how close you are, and personal circumstances.

Honestly!! This thread is so full of joyless and judgmental people.

Why on earth do you care how people you love or at least are close enough to, to be invited, approach their wedding gift list?

Getting married is a celebration of love and declaring of an intention to be together forever. The creation of a new family. It should be a joyous celebration.

Either get a gift or don’t. Don’t worry about other people.

Don’t get married so you can get stuff - it would be cheaper to go shopping!

And if someone is kind enough to invite you to their special day, then try to be happy for them, not petty and nitpicking.

if you don’t like them, then you can by all means graciously decline your invitation.

Oh and also, have a word with yourself!!

What always baffles me on these threads is how limited people are in their thinking.
Those saying "you have to ask for cash or you might get five kettles and three toasters"... are you not capable of rational thought?

There's a whole ocean of possibility in between a tacky poem asking for cash and ending up with a pile of toasters or charity shop tat you don't need.

Also, presumably you don't do gift lists or cash demands for birthdays - if you trust friends and family to buy you presents then, why can't you leave it in their hands for a wedding?

Fwiw when I got married we just didn't mention gifts at all. I'd say about 90% of guests got us a gift anyway.
Ranged from bottles of champagne and nice plants through to large sums of money and John Lewis or M&S vouchers. Not one kettle. Not one toaster. Though did get a very lovely Le Crueset.

@FeelinTwentySixPointTwo good points.
We went to a wedding last year, where they said no gifts. We gave them John Lewis vouchers, which I know were very well received

I guess it’s not often in life a person gets 50 presents or whatever so it makes sense to ask for something you need/want.

It took me about 10 years to get my head around people asking for cash but now I can see times have changed.

Asking for gifts is just as tacky @3678194b

What a joy you are @Vaxtable

Why is cash any more grabby than a gift list?

It isn't. At least with cash, you can give a sum that you're happy with. One of my relatives had a gift list where the cheapest item was £150. For a tiny saucepan!

Totally agree with this!

I can’t imagine going to a wedding without a present, unless possibly it was just to the evening part, but even then I would probably give something like a bottle of wine.

When we got married a gift list was a thing. We went for crockery set, wine glasses and vouchers for wine from our favourite wine shop. People could spend as little as they want eg one saucer (it wasn’t an expensive crockery set) or not buy anything at all, but most people want to get something and a list makes it easy.

The gift list was with a local china shop and after our wedding we went and bought the rest of the set of crockery. Still using it and the wine glasses 20 years later.

But if people want money for their honeymoon can’t see a problem with that. I wouldn’t be expecting them to cover the cost of their meal. I would have the same attitude as I did with our wedding list, as much as you want to spend so could be the cost of a saucer. So @Liveandletlive25 how much would you have spent on a gift?