Wedding gift list asking for cash

[Liveandletlive25]

How much is normal to give?
We’re a family of 5 going to the whole wedding.
Thanks

I don't agree with the couple asking for cash, especially with a tacky poem in the invite.

Yes, we had a house before we married. Still, I had a wedding gift list with items of all values. That meant some getting us a £10 beach towel. It's not up to guests 'cover the meal' of a couple's chosen wedding venue.

I’ve been to a few weddings where the couple have asked for money. I also think it’s rude and grabby and have to say I’ve never given money, I always give a gift.

@DappledThings Totally agree - if I've had my outfit dictated, had to travel bloody miles to the middle of nowhere, attend expensive hen do's and generally pander to a bridezilla my generosity will be rather limited due to these costs that have already been expended.

If it's people who got married in their local registry office, then headed to the local pub / restaurant to toast their happy union then quite frankly I will have a larger budget available to gift them.

People are not made of money and don't attend wedding because they want to - they are generally social obligations, mostly family and if you don't agree to go there is ructions.

Weddings need a serious downgrading as an event.

I love being asked for money for the bride and groom. It makes life so much easier and less wasteful.

@Liveandletlive25 what can you afford? What do you think you should give them?

What culture are they from? You don't have to go with that but it's worth being aware, in Italy it's normal to give a lot, hundreds of euros for example or even a thousand. I think there are other cultures where this is the case too.

More than £50, less than £200, unless you're really close or really rich.

I don’t do cash. They get a voucher for John Lewis or wherever. I am not paying for honeymoons or towards the wedding. I give £50 normally but am on my own

I’ve been to a few weddings where the couple have asked for money. I also think it’s rude and grabby and have to say I’ve never given money, I always give a gift
Youve probably wasted your money aside will probably be given away or sold on face book market place. If its personalised it will no doubt just gather rust.
I dont know why you can't respect wishes. If you were going to spend 50 quid on something from John Lewis why not give them the £50.

don’t do cash. They get a voucher for John Lewis or wherever. I am not paying for honeymoons or towards the wedding. I give £50 normally but am on my own
Why not support them with a honeymoon
At least its something memorable and they ( hopefully) will look back fondly on

I dont agree with the first post.

I'd rather the b & G be honest and ask for money than me give a bloody toaster or other household item that they already had. honestly, what is the difference between giving money or choosing a gift off a gift registry.

Regards how much honestly I have no idea!

It's nothing to do with how many of you are going, or how expensive the wedding is.
It's a combination of what you can afford combined with how close you are to the couple
My Grandma gave us £50, thats half a weeks pension and a huge amount for her. My DH uncle gave us £500 , but he is a millionaire. Both were equally valuable to us as they came with kind wishes. It costs a lot to attend weddings, and some people flew half way across the world to celebrate with us, and that was most important to us.

Personally I would give between £50 and £150 depending on how close we were. Or if it was a wedding of one of DH family in Ireland, and then we would give a month's wages plus a gold bar 🤣

Last few weddings we have been at its been £200 for friends children and £300 for family. This is for 2 of us, we’re in NI if it makes any difference and seems pretty normal

Why is it any more “grabby” than having a wedding list of items you want people to buy for you?

My sister just gave $500 to a second cousin from the three of us siblings. I thought that was too much - we know the father well but the young man getting married we’ve met maybe three times? I would have given $250.
I’d give £100 here. My stepson had an ‘experiences on their honeymoon’ list and I got them a fancy dinner and a cooking course which seemed a nicer way rather than asking for cash.

This!!
I can’t believe the amounts being suggested on this thread.
£100 per person attending?!

Am reading with interest because I’m going to a wedding later this year where we’ve been asked to give cash. I was thinking £50 which was what I’d have spent on a gift. The wedding is a weekday so I’m having to book 2 days off work to attend. I’m self-employed so I’ll lose 2 days’ income. No way am I spending an additional £200 on a cash donation. I’d rather not go and they could put the cost of my family’s dinner to the honeymoon.

Most of the weddings I've been to are in NI and me and my DP usually give £250. There's typically not a request for money, or a gift list, money just seems to be the best option given the couples have already set up home together.

Twenty quid each for a family or 5

nowt wrong with just requesting money, I’d end up selling all the alcohol and toasters I’d never use

Of

Oh wow, I didn’t realise guests are doing the couple a favour by attending! Surely you are attending because you are happy for them?

Why do you find the notion of giving a couple £50 for them to enjoy on a lovely honeymoon more objectionable than spending the same amount on a voucher? If you like the bride and groom, do you not want to give them something they’d really like/want? You’re spending the same amount of money either way, so I don’t understand why it’s a problem to give them something they’ll love.

Isn’t the idea of gift-giving to get someone a gift they’ll be delighted with, rather than something that will be mildly disappointing to them?

not to cover the cost of the meal, that sound far too generous

I don’t like them either 🤣

I got married and never stipulated money or had a wedding list.

That’s not much of a trick for those of us who don’t want to get married in a church… some of us are non religious and still deserve to get actually married on our wedding day

Thanks all. I really dislike giving money as never know what to give!
They’ve lived together a few years already which is their reason for not having a traditional guest list, as they have home appliances etc already, which is fair enough. They’re expecting their 1st child too, but have specifically asked for no baby related things which I can understand as they want to keep the wedding and the baby celebrations separate, or I would’ve bought something for their little one.
They’re a lovely couple , not grabby or anything, & already made comments on how they don’t want people to feel obligated to spend a lot go to the hen do the stag the wedding et cetera

I do want to get a decent present, but just can’t afford an extortionate amount because already paid a lot on lots of hen do related things, new outfits for family for the wedding, then time off work / loss of earnings whilst attending the wedding for some family members, and then the cost of travel to/ from the wedding. We’re not stingy, but all these costs add up.

Personally I think its rude asking for money 😳

But is it not really wasteful to ask for gifts if you don’t want or need them? I have no plans to get married but if I did, I would struggle to think of a single item we want or need for our home.

If someone’s spending £10, I’d hate them to be spending it on something from a list of stuff we didn’t really need but we’d drawn up for the sake of it because we thought it was the done thing. Whereas if they gave us £10 cash we would happily buy a couple of drinks on our honeymoon with it and would enjoy that a million times more and would think fondly of them as we drank them.