Wedding gift list asking for cash

[Liveandletlive25]

How much is normal to give?
We’re a family of 5 going to the whole wedding.
Thanks

We aren't in China. At least I am not. It's sad that social conventions seem to have acceptedd that grabby crass poems are fine,they are not in my book.

I got married a couple of years ago and we did ask for cash towards honeymoon (couldn’t find anything we needed for the home and I think putting up £100+ items on a registry is worse than asking for cash)

First of all, would never expect anyone to “cover their cost for dinner” we invited you to our wedding, that’s our choice - don’t expect you to pay for your meal?

I would find £100 VERY generous of your family. Any family / couple that gave £100 or over we was blown away by and wasn’t expecting.

You have come to celebrate us, and have probably spent money on outfits, I would say £50 is absolutely fine to give.

I would probably give £50 for friends / work colleagues and £75-100 for close family

Eurgh - people asking for cash is just awful.
£50 if their not family or close friends, £100 if they are

I'd give £250

I do think in England it is considered a bit of a faux pas to request cash as a wedding gift, but in Ireland, Italy and I'm sure plenty of other places, it is quite normal. Just in response to the "grabby" comment

I hate invitations asking for money. No, I don't want to pay for your honeymoon.

So much depends on 'where you are in life' (financially).

Both my dd and my ds, are, separately going to 4 and 5 weddings, respectively this year. Both have big mortgages (compared to their salaries) and student loans, and the costs of living, from car ins to utility bills to cover, whilst still relatively early on in their careers. I would expect them to be able to give a lot less than dh and I would, as we are at the peak of our earning, and have paid off our mortgage some time ago. Plus, we don't go to many weddings other than family (so, one this year, and don't think there will be any next year). Plus, we also aren't shelling out for expensive stag and hen dos.

The amount you give is very much down to what you can afford, rather than any arbitrary amount MNers put on here.

Why not?

In Ireland it’s just assumed that you give cash. Usually around €200 per couple.

Because I am old fashioned and think it is bad manners to ask for money. I will give money to a wedding I am going to this September, but the difference is they haven't asked for anything.

I too detest a request for money and even more so, a ‘please contribute to our honeymoon’ request. Go on the holiday you can afford!

It just seems a little petty that's all do you think gift lists are greedy?

Why? It's not like you're paying for them to get botox or redecorate their house, a honeymoon is literally celebrating the wedding, which, as a guest is the whole reason you've been invited in the first place.

I find it weird that people get so offended by requests for cash. I've been to a LOT of weddings over the last 20 years and not one of them has ever had a gift reg, it feels like something that went out with the ark. I also don't understand why asking for specific presents at a set price range is considered less grabby than letting people choose the amount of cash to give. It feels a lot more demanding to me.

I don't understand why people are so begrudging - surely if you like somebody enough to go to their wedding you actively want to do something nice to please them? Why would you give them something they don't want and probably won't use, wasting your own money, just to make a weird point, rather than something that they'll really appreciate.

OP I'd probably give about £100 if a friend, more for a close family member.

I think it is just so much easier to give cash than anything else. We made a mistake with ours admittedly a longtime ago and did not do a gift registry. Honestly some of the things we got were amazing but equally there were some that were just not something we would ever have wanted. We wouldn’t have considered money as that wouldn’t have been the done thing then.
If the couple want cash for a honeymoon, that’s great because it’s something they really want. I see no problem with that.
I’d probably give about £100 per adult and £50 per child, maybe a bit less if we were not that close.
Obviously if you can’t afford that just give what you can, I am sure the bride and groom will be delighted with whatever you give.

i think what you can afford is enough, most people just want you at the wedding and it’s not about receiving gifts or cash

for me it depends on a variety of things the amount I will gift the couple too. how close I am to them (doesn’t matter if family or friends) as a couple and not just one of them how much I’ve spent on outfits/overnight stays/venue etc and how much I was planning on spending at the wedding would all play a factor too. Expensive hen/stag parties etc too

for instance one wedding I went to me and my ex easily spent £2000 between us after the hen/stag, accommodation for the wedding, outfits and then money on the day and gifts other weddings was closer to £2/300

for me now I look at everything then decide, my sisters wedding was in Greece and I didn’t get her a gift as the holiday alone was close to £2500 (yeah I got a holiday but only went there and to that hotel for her)

I think stingy is a bit harsh - there is a very large proportion of people even with decent jobs living paycheck to paycheck who simply can’t afford to put hundreds in a card.

I’ve got a friends wedding this summer - £400 on a hen do, £200 on a hotel. These things aren’t cheap to attend as a guest either and whilst I’m sure it would be lovely I’m hoping they’re not just getting married for cash and a thoughtful present, our actual presence will be enough!

Here in Ireland - Cash is standard. At moment its average 200e to 250e - but only give what you can afford. We got married three years ago after 18 years together and i can count on one hand how many actual presents we got. And they were from close family and friends who knew what we needed. Being going to weddings over 20 years now - thankfully they have reduced a good bit 😂and we always gave cash. I always remember a good friend of my husbands got married 20 years ago and they got 5 sets of Newbridge cutlery, every single one of them went up on done deal or returned . Everyone nowadays has everything they want or need, its not crass to give cash. If you don't want to give cash i would give a voucher instead but no way would i buy something

@SapporoBaby

I had a 3 course waiter service meal for £39.99 a head ( £10 for children for 2 courses) the trick is to book a venue without a wedding licence (had church wedding). We said no gifts

£50

Love a request for cash or a contribute to my honeymoon website. So easy.

I'd give about £75-£150 depending on how close I am to the couple.

Ignore the covering your plate thing. That's just nonsense.

People gifted up £100+ per couple at our wedding 15 years ago (we didn't ask for cash).

So maybe £200/£250? It is perceived as very grabby to ask for cash in the UK, but entirely normal in other countries/cultures.

£100 if you can afford it or less/a bottle of bubbly if you can’t.

Deep down I’m old school and think that any mention of gifts by the B/G is the epitome of tackiness and poor etiquette.

That being said I’ve conceded the point as a lost battle. I’ve never had a problem with registries and am strangely ambivalent to cash requests.

With all of that said where I am (Upper Midwest US) cash is perfectly acceptable for a gift. This does vary in different regions in the US.

My standard gift is this: A small document fire safe with either a bank gift card or cash on the inside. Generally $150. For our Godson we did similar but I think we gave $750. It may have been more, I honestly don’t remember the amount.

I shamelessly stole the idea of the fire safe from a wedding gift I received. It is super useful and is not usually a priority to buy for yourself. Even if someone thinks it’s stupid, chances are they will get it home and shove their important documents in there because it’s there.

£100 max

Minimum of £200 . More for immediate family such as siblings.

what age your children attending?

we’ve been invited before to a wedding with a simple a5 invite one side which included their bank account details!!!