AIBU to take 30 minutes to get to school when they call?

[Hermitintraining]

Dd felt unwell at school yesterday, I was called to collect her.
As it happened I was off work but in the middle of something at home, so I told them ok, I will be about 30 minutes. School is a 15 minute drive away (secondary).
When I got there I got told that it was too long. Dd had a headache and felt unwell but hadn’t actually been sick, I think she was just too hot as she was fine once home. I commented that if I had been at work it would have been closer to an hour to collect. The office area had about 5 other kids all waiting to be collected and when I asked dd she said they had all been waiting at least as long as she had. Dd was just sitting there quietly, she is no trouble and this isn’t something that happens very often for her.

Primary school we were always told that around 30 minutes was ok. It seems entirely reasonable to me, surely most parents can’t just drop everything and be at school in moments? It feels like secondary, with much longer travel involved, should be the same if not longer tbh. I understand that they don’t want ill kids hanging about and it must be a pain, but there was no need for the drama it was turned into.

So am I unreasonable to think 30 minutes to get to school is actually fine?

Yikes - if the headache was that bad then the school would have called an ambulance. Moreover, a brain haemorrhage isn't something that a mum can fix by picking a kid up from school. Get over yourself.

OP says so in one of her updates.

Unless OP has a CT scanner in her car, I don't think putting the frozen food away would make any difference in that situation either.

I have experience of this professionally and personally and no not to begin with … if it’s nothing then nothing is lost if it is it needs dealing with.

What are the odds that it is a brain hemorrhage though? More likely dehydration, virus or migraine!

What if a plane fell on the school and killed the daughter who would have been saved if the OP just threw the shopping back at the delivery person and drove 100mph to school.

What if it was a brain hemorrhage but the OP was an actual brain surgeon in the middle of an operation and couldn't get there for hours and the emergency contact had broken their leg and had to get there on crutches??

You can't go through life like that otherwise you will be a gibbering wreck.

Fine … play the odds game … I still say your child comes first. Frozen food will survive wrapped in blankets for goodness sake … get your child home. Very saddened by so many of these attitudes… don’t have them if you can’t be bothered.

Probably take longer to wrap it in blankets than just chick the food in the freezer and fridge.

The likelihood is they are fine. 🙄

There are still people misjudging OP and the situation because they haven’t read her posts carefully. Her daughter is 15 now—just four years away from heading off to university or working very far from home.

Exactly What a weird scenario

I had similar last week. I work 40 mins away from DD’s school and cannot often immediately leave my desk once I have received a call as I have to handover my work to a colleague first (unless a genuine emergency, such as DD had been rushed to hospital or something - ‘feeling unwell’ is not an emergency). Anyway, it took me an hour to collect her after they called and I got a bollocking from the office.
I was having a moan to my mum about this and she was flabbergasted. Schools didn’t often phone home when I was school age (I’m mid 40s now). You just sat in the quiet area (we didn’t have a medical room) until it was home time if you weren’t well enough to stay in the lesson. If you felt sick, a bucket was provided 😂. If you were sick they may have tried calling home but without mobile phones or answerphones, often there was no answer if our SAHMs had gone out shopping etc. And to be honest, my mum probably couldn’t have collected anyway as she didn’t drive and we caught the school bus. I don’t think there was a public bus service on that route and I’d never seen a taxi in my home town in those days.
I often attend meetings elsewhere in the country during the day so could be 2-3 hours or more away from school.

It's not that parents can't be bothered, it's the fact its completely unnecessary and detached from reality that someone needs to drop everything and come running because a child has developed some minor symptom. I'll come straight away if I'm told they've been hit by a car. I'll be there within a couple of hours should they have a slight fever.

Far more likely that a child will be turned into a really nasty self centered adult thinking they're the most important person in the world completely unable to cope once out in society, then they are at coming to harm from waiting an extra hour because they developed some minor ailment at school and parent didn't appear instantly.

lol ‘I said what I said’ having said something stupid that’s brilliant.

As for the person whose child is ‘turning grey’ I assume you mean due to significant hypotension? If so mum getting there quicker is zero help at all. An ambulance is required, and meet at the hospital. In those circumstances I’m sure the OP would have left the frozen peas.

Perfectly normal to take slightly longer than driving time as most people need to put shoes on, maybe pop to the loo etc. SAHM not any quicker if you’ve got to organise the toddler and the baby as well.

We both have jobs we can’t leave (we’re the people who treat the kids who’ve turned grey and been taken to
to hospital) and so have backup plans for collection. Still takes more than five minutes.

I wouldn't answer the call in the first place!!

But what was exactly said to you and by whom? The same receptionist who told you it was fine? Did you reply that you came as quickly as possible?

30 min and they’re lucky. That’s just how long it takes. I’m hours to get back to my daughter and there isn’t a lot we can do about it. Fortunately it’s not happened yet (only year 7) and we’ve had others closer to collect, but I’m two trains away or more sometimes.

My kids were brought up this way and are the least self centred people I know … one is a foster carer… I am truly appalled at the responses to this…. It’s all about the current attitude of parent first which is how things were when I was a child. It’s bad enough seeing parents with a babe in their buggy and instead of interacting they are glued to their phones… but this! society is in a very selfish place just now and the sooner the pendulum swings back a bit the better.

Its selfish not to allow a week of food to spoil for the sake of a few minutes and a mild headache? In this specific scenario you really think the op was unreasonable?

You're absolutely right, waiting 30 minutes with a mild headache whilst the OP puts perishable food away to make sure it doesn't spoil and she has to repurchase it, will in fact mean that her child never ever does anything good in the world...all because of a Birds Eye chicken dipper 😔

Honest to fuck, what is wrong with you people up there on their high horse?

How do you function day to day thinking like that?

unless the op is a specialist in brain haemorrhages then her dropping everything and rushing to the school to take their child home isn't going to help.

do you stay within 5 minutes of the school? Never leave the house when they are at school just in case? That's not most people's lives

School is being ridiculous. You could be in London on a course or similar.

Good job getting the surgeon parent out of surgery and the lawyer parent out of court ans there in 30 minutes!

😂😂😂

Incredible!

This has thoroughly amused me this afternoon, Ive just picked up DC one of who has a red patch on their arm, kicking myself for not being early for pick up when its clearly imminent septicaemia and not red pen.

School were rude and unreasonable

I don’t think 30mins in itself is unreasonable, and if you were at work it would obviously have taken longer. However you were at home, 15mins away, and you prioritised whatever you were doing at home over going to pick your child up when school called. That seems an odd choice to me.