AIBU to take 30 minutes to get to school when they call?

[Hermitintraining]

Dd felt unwell at school yesterday, I was called to collect her.
As it happened I was off work but in the middle of something at home, so I told them ok, I will be about 30 minutes. School is a 15 minute drive away (secondary).
When I got there I got told that it was too long. Dd had a headache and felt unwell but hadn’t actually been sick, I think she was just too hot as she was fine once home. I commented that if I had been at work it would have been closer to an hour to collect. The office area had about 5 other kids all waiting to be collected and when I asked dd she said they had all been waiting at least as long as she had. Dd was just sitting there quietly, she is no trouble and this isn’t something that happens very often for her.

Primary school we were always told that around 30 minutes was ok. It seems entirely reasonable to me, surely most parents can’t just drop everything and be at school in moments? It feels like secondary, with much longer travel involved, should be the same if not longer tbh. I understand that they don’t want ill kids hanging about and it must be a pain, but there was no need for the drama it was turned into.

So am I unreasonable to think 30 minutes to get to school is actually fine?

You can absolutely fuck off yourself. I said what I said.

Op clearly states that she took her sweet time to get to her child. It would be different if she had to arrange work/drive far etc but she didn’t. She finished what she was doing at home intentionally leaving her daughter at school longer than necessary.

Half an hour is nothing. I would definitely be no quicker than 25 mins I was in the office. Much more if I was in outreach. No one else could get to them much quicker either.

YANBU.

Oh this is just fucking nonsense though.

she took her sweet time

Jeez! The OP did no such thing. And it's fortunate she was 'only' half an hour away. Which is nothing. No wonder she hasn't posted further.

She literally had a supermarket delivery driver starting to unload her groceries when the call came though. Of course it makes sense to bring the groceries inside and put the fridge/freezer items away. The school is being ridiculous.

Ooops 😳 hands up I totally missed that!! Sorry OP- in that case your school was being ridiculous. I read it as though you purposefully took your time at home. That’s what got my back up- I apologise! 💐

As a contrary story... I once shocked my DDs school but turning up in under 5 minutes. I pointed out I lived opposite the school (and it was my day off). All they needed was her antihistamine cream!

Its not like the OP was sitting g with her feet up drinking coffee while her DD was being resuscitated. She just took 10mins to leave the house.

i read the same, the grocery obviously needs putting away.
the school were silly

Do I get an apology too? You were being awful to the OP which is why I called you out and pointed out you need to read the OP’s posts. You doubled down, told me to fuck off and STILL didn’t read them. You only backed down when someone pointed out the reason. Even without that, NOWHERE in the op did she say she just couldn’t be arsed to go. She said she was in the middle of something and went as soon as she could. Could have been any number of things and she did not need to tell us.

I apologised to the OP as I misread her post. I have the right to my opinion. In this case I was wrong so I apologised to OP. You told me to fuck off. I told you to fuck off back.

DH or I would be over an hour getting there if we were at work our offices in London. There are others we could have called upon in an emergency but this doesn't sound like an emergency. School were being unreasonable.

Meh!
I've frequently been longer - once I was just about to go into surgery and nursery called to say DS1 was "really unwell" slight temp, but not a rash and I couldn't leave. We managed to get someone else to come in to cover and when I arrived a couple of hours later DS1 was fine.

I learnt that you only pick up for injuries.

I think they're being a bit ridiculous; I've been in situations where I've been unable to get to pick my DD up in under two hours. It is what it is.

But I wouldn't have been justifying myself to anyone in that situation. You just say you came as quick as you could and leave it at that. No need to explain in detail your reasons. They don't really care, they just want to get the kids out of the door and why would you flag up the fact you haven't come immediately?

I am a secondary school teacher . We have some parents who say that their child will be fine , they are not going to collect them and please give them water and send them back to class . Don’t worry about 30 mins .

My mum was a teacher and my dad was out on the ranch (years before internet) so the school would call my Nana.
She would park outside in about 5 minutes and wait.
It irritated the hell out of the nurse that Nana didn’t come and collect me and it irritated the hell out of Nana that the nurse thought Nana should have to get out of her car.
I thought it was hilarious because I was never very sick - I just hated school.
I was, however, always on Nana’s side.

Just for the record.
I see 50 odd pupils day in my medical room at school. I work on my own and have lots of pupils with serious medical conditions. At any time I might be called to an emergency. If your child has a virus and is going to be sitting with me, everyone in that room is now at risk too.
I never ever complain to parents but it can be frustrating. I don’t have time to faff around.

I'll add to your list,
In a village with periodic bus service 5miles from school and no car.

The more I think about it the dafter 30mins sounds, lots of kids are 2 miles plus from secondary schools, parents without cars would really need to get a shift on to walk to school in 30mins.

Wow, that escalated 🤣🤣🤣

For the record, dd was absolutely fine. She had a bit of a headache and felt off, probably because she had been in double English where there is one wall that is floor to ceiling glass and the sun was shining on it, she sits next to the window and was roasting. She had some paracetamol in her bag which she carries anyway but didn't take it as she felt a bit sick, and so didn’t drink any water either. She is 15 and I think I’ve been called only a few times in her whole school career, and when I said 30 minutes the staff member on the phone just said that’s fine, I’ll let her know you’re coming. Within an hour of being home with medicine and a drink she was back to herself and I made her do homework and not play online. She is pretty robust, taller than me and not generally ill. I’ve told her to only go to the office if she’s dying in future.

I dashed around like a blue arsed fly throwing the cold stuff in the fridge and freezer, so hardly dawdling about, and the half drunk coffee was waiting for me when I got back. I’m afraid I’m not letting £150 of food go bad for the sake of a few minutes when I knew full well dd was ok.

The kids all were sitting in the reception area of the school, it’s like a big foyer. The staff on the desk are just keeping an eye while they go about their jobs. I presume there is a separate medical room for kids who are properly ill.
Given that there were a number of kids there I’m prepared to accept that the staff thought I was someone else, they obviously had a lot on. I just didn’t expect to be told that I’d taken too long! So that’s why I asked here.

The school catchment is big with some rural areas, I can well believe that even if someone was waiting at home for that call it could easily be 45 minutes from home. The traffic is often a nightmare too. Never mind where people may work, or rely on public transport, or not be near their phone, which would add more time. So I am happy to conclude that 30 minutes is actually pretty reasonable.

Sympathies to anyone getting regular calls from school and having to dash in, that can’t be easy.

They are being unreasonable. Your reason for being late is perfectly legitimate and as you say it would have been longer if you’d been at work. I work well over an hour away by public transport (I don’t drive) and my husband drives quite far distances for work. Luckily the very few times this has happened with my DD I was WFH. I imagine it would be harder at high school which is often further away. I’m also lucky in the sense I could call my dad or one of my sisters if I was really stuck. Schools are a bit guilty at times of thinking parents are just sitting at home twiddling their thumbs- hence the school events often arranged for during the day at the last minute!

Poopeepoopee · Today 12:21

pharmer · Today 12:17
I think you should be leaving straightaway not in 15 minutes.

I think it was fine to take time to put the shopping away.We are parents, not emergency medical care.

??"We are parents, not emergency medical care"??

These are YOUR KIDS we're talking about.

THEY are office staff, not your kids' parents!! They are flat out busy doing their job, which is not to oversee half a dozen kids with health issues. Your food/washing powder/wine is not going to spoil if you leave it half an hour (frozen/meat excepted).

Just tell them you will get there as fast as you can, they don't need the details of what you are doing. If you told them you are in the middle of something at home it sounds like you aren't that bothered and it probably irritated them.
Obviously you can't just run away while the shopping is being dropped off.

Which if you read what was written was exactly the case. Cold stuff away and then left...

edited.

I used to tell our secondary to send mine home alone. We’d call when she arrived home. I didn’t drive then, so no point in them waiting for me to get there on bus when kid could be home before I arrived.

I put the cold stuff away. The rest was still all over the sides and floor in the kitchen when I left. I also left my coffee half drunk. I did what I could.

I didn’t say what I was up to, I just said ok, I’ll be about 30 minutes. They said fine, that was it, no further explanation. I know they’re busy. Dd doesn’t have any medical conditions, is rarely ill, was not ill before school, and they told me she had a headache and felt a bit off. She gets herself to and from school on the bus and normally I would be at work anyway on a Tuesday, in which situation I would have been longer.

By secondary age things are different, she’s almost 16, other than not having the sense to take the paracetamol that she had in her bag I had no concerns about her. Learning to cope with minor illness in a work setting is also a good life skill. I won’t be dashing to get her for a headache when she’s at college or work.