AIBU to take 30 minutes to get to school when they call?

[Hermitintraining]

Dd felt unwell at school yesterday, I was called to collect her.
As it happened I was off work but in the middle of something at home, so I told them ok, I will be about 30 minutes. School is a 15 minute drive away (secondary).
When I got there I got told that it was too long. Dd had a headache and felt unwell but hadn’t actually been sick, I think she was just too hot as she was fine once home. I commented that if I had been at work it would have been closer to an hour to collect. The office area had about 5 other kids all waiting to be collected and when I asked dd she said they had all been waiting at least as long as she had. Dd was just sitting there quietly, she is no trouble and this isn’t something that happens very often for her.

Primary school we were always told that around 30 minutes was ok. It seems entirely reasonable to me, surely most parents can’t just drop everything and be at school in moments? It feels like secondary, with much longer travel involved, should be the same if not longer tbh. I understand that they don’t want ill kids hanging about and it must be a pain, but there was no need for the drama it was turned into.

So am I unreasonable to think 30 minutes to get to school is actually fine?

30 minutes is fine. Sometimes it take me an hour to get to either of my DCs if I’m working in the office. It can’t be helped, I can’t teleport.

It’s fine, my Mum didn’t drive so it would take her an hour to get there. Obviously if it was an emergency she would have got a lift/taxi but still might have taken that long tbf.

How did schools cope before parents had mobile phones? You'd have had to wait a lot longer if there wasn't a parent at home when the school called.

I think it's fine because you can't just drop everything when it suits.

If I got a call tomorrow it could take me half an hour despite being a mile away because I would have to first tell my manager then secondly either go on foot or drive the long way round because the direct road to school has been closed for months.

That's assuming I was at work/at home, there have been times I've been an hour away so it would take me an hour. I can't put my life on hold although I would stick close to home if I thought one of the kids might be sent home. If they seem absolutely fine I'm going to go about my day and go where suits me as long as I'm back for pick up.

Of course it's not ideal having a sick child waiting for you but life just doesn't work in an ideal way.

Madness, you just can’t guarantee you’re within 30minutes from school at all times. There’s times I need to travel into London and my husband works around 45mins away. I guess we’re lucky we could call in a grandparent in an emergency situation, but surely 2 working parents would mean the school just having to wait most times. What if you were both brain surgeons and doing your thing (appreciate that’s unlikely, but you get my drift)?!

The school are unreasonable. we live over 30 mins away from DC school. Whether it's an emergency or not I can't fly there or get there any quicker than 30 mins

Totally fine. My mum used to work more than half an hour away, in a school herself so couldn’t answer her phone and immediately leave, she needed to get someone to cover a class etc so took much longer to get to us.

Yesterday it would have taken me two hours as I was in the middle of central London. 30 minutes seems very reasonable.

It’s bizarre because any teacher parents can’t just drop everything the second their phone rings, so why do they expect it of other parents?

FFS, do these school staff members think that parents sit waiting at home for that call to collet their sick child??? 30 minutes to make the journey I not unreasonable.

We live a 30min drive from school anyway, longer if there’s traffic or roadworks. Just get there as soon as you can. I highly doubt most parents are sitting on the edge of their seats, shoes on and car keys in hand everyday to rush to the school’s beck and call. The child is in school premises and under the care of staff, if a true emergency, they’d have called an ambulance..

Quite often we can’t get hold of any parents or carerers at all- so the sick kids have to stay in school all day( primary)

Exactly this. Schools are not your personal babysitter. If your child is unwell and you are taking your time to get her just because, then you are massively in the wrong. Teachers, TAs and school staff have so many kids to look after and Admin have so many things to do daily- it’s unfair to expect them to babysit your child because you can’t be arsed to get her. Also it’s very unfair to leave her there when a) she’s not feeling well and b) if she has an illness she could spread it to staff and children alike. Your poor daughter.

It's fine. It doesn't matter if you finished what you were doing first, it wasn't an emergency and was a reasonable time.

When I was matron at a secondary school I always used to ring the dad first if they had equal parental responsibility, just to even out the balance 😂 it is mainly the mums that put themselves as priority number 1 on the call list though.

Exactly this. I have been called to the school before and I have to arrange to collect my kid, whether it's just checking in with work about it or rearranging an appointment or meeting or whatever else, or arrange for someone else to get her. It's entirely reasonable to do so. It's unreasonable to expect everyone to shoot out the door for something that isn't an emergency and in fact isn't urgent at all in any way.

I suspect they were fed up they have several other kids not being picked up, and lumped everyone together.

Not reasonable of them but explicable I guess.

I broke my arm at school in the dark ages. Mum wasn’t in her usual office (had gone to a meeting elsewhere I think) so nobody could get hold of her. Dad was at a conference so took a while to get hold of someone at his work who knew where he was & could get a message through. He was presenting when he was given the information I had broken my arm. He worked an hour away, so I was already in A&E by the time he arrived. I survived!

No way could i have collected mine in under 30 minutes - I worked 15 minutes north of my house and school was 15 minutes south! If i wasn’t available they would be lucky to even get exh, you can’t leave teaching for a mildly ill dc.

Once they called me and I was 3 hours by plane away, that confused them. I explained their grandmother was on her way for 6pm (they were old enough to have keys etc at 13&15) they arranged a taxi to drop dd home as they insisted she couldn’t take a bus, dd was sent home regularly due to anxiety and I was getting annoyed because they played her game, eventually they got it and wouldn’t let her go home

It’s practical in one sense but I think they can’t do that if they are poorly in case they faint.

Bah. They can’t put a time limit.

they dont know where you were op
if you dd was ok with the wait dont worry

Few people could reasonably make it in much less than 30 mins. Especially at secondaries where SAHMs are less common and schools are further away.

Ditto working parents who don't work fairly close by. My job sometimes involves me being as much as 70 miles away, and that's on mostly rural roads.

Oh do fuck off with your “your poor daughter” crap. The OP’s daughter was fine. She had to wait an extra 10/15 mins for a perfectly legitimate reason - if you’d bothered to read the OP’s posts you’d understand that.

There are many reasons a parent might not get there quickly. To be there in 30 mins is hardly any time at all really. How many teachers chastising her would have been able to get to their own child’s school in 30 mins if they had that phone call? Not many id guess.