Please don't give my husband more paternity leave.

[Hedgehogbrown]

https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/please-dont-give-my-husband-longer-paternity-leave/#comments-container

Till Macdonald wrote this is the Spectator. Is she mad?! Who is this woman? Just because she procreated with a massive dickhead doesn't mean the rest of us should have absent husbands. Anyone who has a 'pile of ironing' in 2025 is just asking to be a wifey martyr. Ridiculous.

Like many posters on here, I haven't ironed anything since around 2013, except for my DH's shirt when we went to weddings. (We've been to 3 in the past 12 years.) Ergo I have ironed 3 shirts in 12 years. That is all. When I wash stuff it goes on the line, or hangers in the house if it's raining, and it doesn't need ironing.

Why have women always done so much ironing over the years? My mum used to iron pillow cases, handkerchiefs, underpants, socks, t-shirts, skirts, jeans, you name it. Housewives/SAHMs must have been more bored then. 😆 (Understandable I guess. No internet, no Netflix, no social media, no satellite TV, no smartphones, most of them couldn't drive, only 2-3 channels on the TV (and they stopped broadcasting by midnight.)

That article is batshit!

Like several others, I would rather maternity leave was better - full pay for a full year, and men weren't at home for more than 2 weeks. My husband wasn't a nuisance or useless, but quite honestly, I preferred it when he went back to work. (He booked 2 weeks off and was with me til our DC were 14-15 days old.) I could not have tolerated him being off work for 6 months or something! Nooooooo! 😱

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That is her way of dealing with it. A good percentage of men are this useless and are better off making money for the household. so i can see where she’s coming from

Dads aren't chopped liver. My partner saved up his annual leave and took 6 weeks off, and could really bond with his baby in that time. 2 weeks is really unfair on Fathers and nowhere near enough time to form the same bond as the Mother, especially if they work 9-5. When my partner went back to work he would cry when he had to leave because he couldn't believe he had to leave his baby. The Father's love can be just as strong as the Mother's, just different. I exclusively breast-fed but he came up with his own ways to bond.

Now we both work part time and on his days he has his own way of doing things, he's got his own playgroups with his own Mum friends. The only thing stopping men from having a proper bond with their kids which is as strong as a Mother's, is society (and some dickhead men, who you could argue are that way because of society)

I hang them on the airer right and the creases drop as they dry. Then into the wardrobe they go.

I only iron if it's absolutely necessary. See suit shirts or formal wear.

DH has a uniform which is made of material that doesn't require ironing. I WFH mostly so the odd crease in the back of a t-shirt makes no odds. Also, clothes wrinkle when you wear them or sit in the car etc.

What are you wearing that requires so much ironing?

I have not RTFT completely but just have to say what a load of regressive nonsense that article is. Pile of washing? WTF? "Limited grasp" of the laundry "system"? What bloody system. Stick it in the fucking washing machine, hang it up to dry, pack it away some time later, maybe iron the child's school trousers, and my work ones if necessary (my DH does that). Not rocket science. The stupid infantilisation of men is so 20th century...and so lazy...if her DH is really like that he should be told to pull his act together. Does he really expect lunch to be made for him? If so, why?

I think men who are normal good people must get so tired of men being portrayed as annoying selfish fuckers.

@LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway I would rather maternity leave was better - full pay for a full year, and men weren't at home for more than 2 weeks.

You genuinely think you personally thinking your husband shouldn’t have more than 2 weeks off and be in your home for more than 2 weeks should influence statutory policy for all men and families?

I think their husbands are just dicks though.

Yes, one of the better outcomes of lockdown was my realisation that nothing needed to be ironed! Of course the iron and ironing board are still required for blocking crochet squares!

Yes shared leave has been proven not to work, as usually the women take it. But I would be annoyed to have to give up mine. He should just have his own.

Shared parental leave as it stands is an awful system (and we still used it). The setup so the woman has to "give up" time and it's so complicated both our workplaces struggled and I wanted to bang my head on a wall.

I did have a moment of disappointment when my husband went back a day early by mistake, then found that he was going to be with us after all.

I was looking forward to finding my groove - and my husband did keep sodding moving things I'd places in reach!

But then we did SPL, so we were off 2.5m in total together plus him 2m alone.

I enjoyed mine, but cos DH only got the statutory we'd have lost money if he took any "paternity". So he saved up his annual leave and used some of the following years (because of when DD was born) to take a couple of months off and it was the best decision we made.

Men should absolutely be allowed proper parental leave, and maternity should also be better. It gives family choices, and so many don't have it now.

No one is saying women should have to go back to work earlier, they’re advocating that men have access to properly paid paternity leave.

We don’t work from home. Husband wears a suit everyday and I wear some shirts and some silk looking blouses. But regardless I wouldn’t wear anything that isn’t ironed. I wouldn’t be comfortable. That’s just the way I am. I love to even have my sheets and towels ironed. Just the way I am. Nothing wrong with my approach as it makes me happy - and nothing wrong with yours!

If it makes you happy then there's nothing wrong with it. I just don't know where people get the time to iron their towels as well as everything else.

"He generously granted me six to eight weeks of celibate ‘recovery'".

Kill me now.

With regards to the article I think it’s such a difficult thing to implement. But I 100 percent believe that whatever changes are made - it shouldn't mean that women have to reduce their leave with their babies. I do find interesting the opinions about husbands being in the way… my h stayed home his 2 weeks paternity leave and took 3 weeks as annual leave and frankly he was an amazing support for me. I couldn’t have done those early days without him especially with my first!

It's just a faff, that's all. I don't think it's a particularly controversial comment.

Are you feeling better now?

It wasn't a serious comment, chill. (Hint: no one would ever use "hung like a horse" in a serious argument).

Sometimes I read things and I have to re read them several times for my brain to comprehend what the hell I’m reading!

Additional paternity leave would not impact a woman’s maternity leave. They aren’t linked in any way.

You need it, with comments like that!
Pretty discriminating

pre kids I had time. Post kids I used to get up at 4am to get all my jobs done before work! 🤣. Now I still get up early but to exercise and I have someone to do my ironing so that’s a bit easier.

I suspect it's actually bullshit, just concocted to create a reaction such as mine a and yours.