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Original poster

Please don't give my husband more paternity leave.

259 replies

Hedgehogbrown · 25/06/2025 00:57

https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/please-dont-give-my-husband-longer-paternity-leave/#comments-container

Till Macdonald wrote this is the Spectator. Is she mad?! Who is this woman? Just because she procreated with a massive dickhead doesn't mean the rest of us should have absent husbands. Anyone who has a 'pile of ironing' in 2025 is just asking to be a wifey martyr. Ridiculous.

Please don't give my husband longer paternity leave

Men at home all day have an uncanny ability to misunderstand the rhythm of the house. They use the blender during wind-down time

https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/please-dont-give-my-husband-longer-paternity-leave/

OP posts:
VitaminX · 25/06/2025 23:03

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 25/06/2025 22:33

@Hedgehogbrown many small businesses cant afford long paternity leave. they often cannot afford maternity leave either. we, in out office, would be unable to even get a temp in so any long term absence means I have to go in! A temp would not know the work!

Seems like a pretty strong incentive to avoid hiring women of children bearing age. It would be good if men were equally 'risky'.

Though where I live maternity/paternity leave is funded by the state, not individual employers, employers all know that any adult of either sex, within a certain age range, might take mat/pat leave at some point. No reason to lean towards hiring a man because he'll only be off for a few weeks if he becomes a dad.

Icanttakethisanymore · 25/06/2025 23:39

Silvertulips · 25/06/2025 06:46

I do wonder if woman will have to declare they are ‘together’ so men can take paternity leave? With so many single mothers, I imagine men will take advantage and just take 6 months leave with no intention of looking after the baby! Will his work place insist on seeing your medical records? Grill you about the intended leave?

My DH was brilliant and still is a brilliant dad, doesn’t mean he wasn’t under my feet all day, ignoring the mess piling up in the kitchen and expecting sex.

I think some of you are blind to your partners short comings in this area,

My marriage would have ended with 6 month leave, and we’ve been together 25 years. I sent him back to work for my own sanity.

Your husband doesn’t sound great at all to be honest. Maybe the people you think are ‘blind to their partner’s shortcomings’ just don’t have sex pests for husbands?

Sofiewoo · 26/06/2025 06:29

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 25/06/2025 22:33

@Hedgehogbrown many small businesses cant afford long paternity leave. they often cannot afford maternity leave either. we, in out office, would be unable to even get a temp in so any long term absence means I have to go in! A temp would not know the work!

In the UK statutory leave is repaid by the government.
If you can’t afford someone to be off for a few weeks it’s not really a workable business, any employee could be off sick at any time.

Zone2NorthLondon · 26/06/2025 06:36

Silvertulips · 25/06/2025 07:02

How can we have a serious discussion on this topic if you keep twittering on about ironing? No wonder things don’t improve for woman - ironing is clearly more important.

Oh! Silly women, there they go again. Twittering
Good job you’re here to tell us all how inane we are.

Salacia · 26/06/2025 08:04

Zone2NorthLondon · 26/06/2025 06:36

Oh! Silly women, there they go again. Twittering
Good job you’re here to tell us all how inane we are.

Show quote history

To be honest it is a bit frustrating that what could be a really interesting conversation has so many messages about ironing that have nothing to do with paternity leave other than the original article mentions an ironing pile. Feels like there are two completely separate conversations going on.

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 26/06/2025 08:11

RareGoalsVerge · 25/06/2025 16:46

This is very valid. But also to build this world, dad needs to be taking last-minute unplanned leave becaused the baby has chicken pox just as often as mum.

Show quote history

Yes. But I think maternity leave is one of the biggest reasons that mothers and fathers are hardly ever equal parents, so that would likely be one of the consequences of equalising maternity and paternity leave.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 26/06/2025 11:36

Sofiewoo · 26/06/2025 06:29

In the UK statutory leave is repaid by the government.
If you can’t afford someone to be off for a few weeks it’s not really a workable business, any employee could be off sick at any time.

Show quote history

@Hedgehogbrown it isnt the cost! it is the ability to do the work!! the certification and the learning of all the legal forms required to be completed, some which will only differ by a mere sentence!!

Silvertulips · 26/06/2025 18:55

Your husband doesn’t sound great at all to be honest. Maybe the people you think are ‘blind to their partner’s shortcomings’ just don’t have sex pests for husbands?

Oh DFOD

Wanderdust · 26/06/2025 21:13

Wow! Sounds like the author doesn't like her husband very much. I'm 34 weeks with DC2 and can't wait for 6 weeks off with my husband. It's not just that he's far from useless and does his fair share of housework and childcare, I actually genuinely enjoy his company. He's my best friend and we'll probably never get this chance to be off work this long together until retirement! We're just very similar too, on priorities and being productive, so that's another reason why we get along - similar energies.

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