To think it's not really true when people say you don't need much for a baby?

[NojitoandLime]

Preparing for first baby and everyone keeps telling me I don't need much.

I'm not one to buy things frivolously and I have got a lot of stuff second hand, but I still feel like it's quite a lot to have a comfortable and happy first 6 months or so!

We've spent quite a bit and we haven't gone overboard or gone for fancy brands. I mean... clothes, pram, nappies, wipes, creams, blankets, changing mat/bag, muslins, bottles, steriliser, crib/cot/somewhere to sleep, all the stuff mum needs to be comfy in hospital and after (maternity/nursing clothes, pads etc), car seat.

It's quite a lot and then most people want a couple of little extra luxuries for such an exciting time, like I've just got a bouncer and a couple of toys for when the baby's a bit older, nothing extravagant.

I know you could survive with hardly anything... like you could use a blanket instead of a changing mat... but everyone keeps telling me "you don't need much!" when actually I feel like the standard amount that people get is quite a lot.

People have raised an eyebrow when I've said my flat is overflowing with baby stuff, but it's just stuff I'm going to need and I have quite a small flat.

Maybe I'm just a minimalist and this seems a lot to me when it's actually not!

Well you definitely need a pram, a cot and a carseat and these are the main expenses. I had my first baby at 19 and we didn't have much money - I borrowed a silver cross pram from my cousin, bought a second hand crib and a new mattress and bought a new carseat. Everything else we bought second hand or were gifted (my parents bought us a high chair that was used for all 5 children!)

What I found was you don’t need vast quantities of the same thing. People said you need lots of vests in each size and lots of baby grows in each size but we didn’t need them (did receive lots as gifts).

How much have you realistically spent on nappies before your baby is even born? If resusables yes it’s a bigger initial outlay but many councils give a starter pack or voucher. If disposables newborn size are really cheap.

How many creams have you bought? I just had a nappy cream and baby lotion, plus an all in one baby wash so hardly took up space.

A changing bag is not really needed, any bag would do. A changing mat is handy but yes you can use a towel or blanket if needed. But a changing mat doesn’t take up much space and I would say get one. Or two!

I had a Moses basket and next to me crib, they were hardly used although useful to have somewhere to set the baby down but when they can’t move setting them on the floor on a blanket is fine.

I always planned to breastfeed but expressed/ used formula top ups the first few weeks so just used the microwave steriliser bags. After that I just breastfed direct so didn’t need bottles.

I did have a baby carrier which was useful for a while, I got it second hand.

Things I found useful were a decent thermometer and DC1 was mesmerised by the black and white picture books. I received lots of baby sleeping bags as gifts.

I definitely felt like I had more than I needed of everything. But I didn’t mind that as I’m not a minimalist!

A lot of babies don't even like prams, so they arguably aren't essential. My son just went everywhere in a sling

I breastfed so didn't need bottles, steriliser etc.

You surely only need nappies for a week or two at a time

A dinky pot of sudocrem saw us through the entire baby years.

Baby change bags aren't needed, any bag will do

I did find a change mat helpful though.

@Missscarletintheconservatory We've literally bought one pack of nappies, a pot of sudocrem, a bottle of baby bath stuff and a nipple cream 😅

One pack of sleepsuits and vests in each size (we've been given extra bits too).

I bought a £20 changing bag as I didn't have one of a good size that would conveniently go on/ under the pram. Obviously, a bag is a bag, but you still need a bag.

Just venting really as when I comment about the amount of stuff in my flat, people keep telling how little you need and assuming I've over-bought.

But to me, I feel like I've accumulated so much stuff compared to pre-pregnancy, even with the minimum!

I think you've bought pretty standard stuff.

When I had mine in the dim and distant past (80s) midwives seemed to be obsessed with saying newborns could sleep in a drawer from a chest of drawers (perhaps because it was a deprived area)! Didn't know anyone who actually did that...

Yeah it's comments like this (well, today's equivalent) that I keep getting.

But it's like... really? You're really not going to plan a decent place for your child to sleep, just so you can say look at me, I don't need all this stuff?

😅

I feel like the reality is, most people do end up with quite a lot of stuff, and reasonably so... and I feel like I'm being a bit shamed for it by people telling me to get less and I'm not being frugal enough!

The Baby Box in Scotland is designed so the baby can sleep in it.

You don't need all the stuff that is available. You dont need loads of each size. We ended up with twice as many muslins as we needed but other babies sick up more. You just dont know.

You need to be ruthless about clearing out the stuff your wee one has outgrown, otherwise it takes over.

Everyone will have a different definition of need though so its very difficult to say. What i 'needed' for ours might be different, e.g. i knew after my first section i wouldn't be able to get on the floor to do nappies so for our second we got a raised changing table.

I would say even for anything you do need, you dont need to spend much on it (perhaps car seat aside). E.g. ours slept in a £20 travel cot for 6 months, then in a £60 cot from ikea that lasts until theyre 4ish (sides come off etc). You could go even cheaper/free and get these second hand - we got most of our gear that way, eg a cute moses basket with sheets etc from facebook marketplace and just bought the mattress new. Thing like playmats, moses baskets, toys etc are always being given away locally to us!

Also some babies like things others do not - our current loves the bouncer but our first wasnt fussed. Other babies hate slings etc.

Oh and theres things like sling libraries, and schemes where you 'rent' baby/kids clothes for a small fee that can save you a bunch of money and means you dont have stuff cluttering up the space as you return them when done!

Good luck!

My kids have slept in drawers when away from home!

If you keep telling people your home is overflowing with baby stuff you’ve bought while pregnant then they’re probably going to assume you’ve overbought.

Wait until the toys land.

Are you combi feeding? I wouldn’t go too mad on buying bottles yet. You can get them handy enough in the supermarket. Different babies prefer different bottle teats too so don’t buy too many. If you can borrow ones of people you know first to see which you get on with better.

My mum did that with me!! I was a month early and she'd bought literally nothing yet so it was out of necessity but then i dont think she bothered to get something quickly, only a huge cot for when i was older.

Im assuming she took the drawer out of the drawer unit first and didnt actually close the drawer with me in it, but never confirmed this with her 🤣

Yes hoping to combi feed... we've bought two bottles

I think it's having a small flat that's making it feel like you've got too much stuff. We had way more than that (including things people on MN always say you don't need, like a changing table), but all my friends and colleagues had already had babies so they gave us everything. I don't think I bought anything much except a cot mattress and a complete set of reusable nappies.

This is the thing though... I don't think people should assume I've overbought... because I've found the fact is that the basic stuff just is quite a lot!

When I had my first I was broke due to sudden circumstances when I was pregnant.

In each side of clothing for the first year they has 14x vests, 24 sleepsuits ( wore them during the day for the first year as that’s what I prefer ) one all in one coat
baby box for a while when born then a cot I bought second hand
a couple of blankets and a sleeping bag
nappies and wipes
she had a very basic pram that did the job.
a milton tub non electric steriliser and Milton tablets
didn’t have bottles.
I did buy a second have tummy may and a basic bouncer.

when I had my second I was Much better financially and still bought the same 😂

First baby you want everything new, but in realitt you can get on facebook market place, borrow, or be given a lot of stuff.
Like a pram, everyone thinks tou neex some top of the range pram, but you really don't.
Bouncer, pick up on market place etc.
It sounds like you havent gone overboard though, and yes it is a whole other person and all their stuff in your house.
The toddler stage is crazy, all their toys are massive.. this dies down at around age 5 to 7 when they start to play with smaller things like lego.. although that has its own issues 😂

When you list it like you do yes of course it's quite a bit but I think what people mean is those (un)necessary things marketed at new families as absolutely vital. For instance we didn't have a steriliser, just did it in the microwave or boiled the bottle. Also didn't do it for very long. Sling was never popular with mine so glad I didn't buy it but borrowed one to try out. Muslins as well was not necessary for us, we did little flannels from IKEA which then doubled as a comfort blanket

Yes... We might well get a changing table at some point, if we can fit one in, because I have a bad back (just not yet because there's too much other clutter that needs sorting out at the moment!)

I'm just a bit tired of hearing people preaching you don't need XYZ when actually they're pretty normal things to get.

I've never told people there isn't a lot of 'stuff'. I have told people it doesn't have to be expensive - almost everything my children owned until recently was used / borrowed / etc. There's 'so' much of everything out there already so we barely bought anything new.

Yes, it takes over a flat for sure so the best recommendation is above - make sure to clear things out ruthlessly to avoid getting over-taken by it. Some children hate a bouncer (my son), some love it (my daughter) so after a couple months with my son I passed it down to another friend to try.

I found the toys overwhelming - my children are the only grandchildren on both sides and it got to be a 'lot' really quickly. And the books everywhere. But just figure out a system of rotation, going through clothes regularly, getting rid of the tiny baby stuff immediately etc.

Get ready OP as this will be a recurring theme as you further enter parenthood: other/previous parents' need to offer uninvited opinions as to why something isn't required/ isn't an issue. I'm 4 years in and still find it infuriating!

So yes: the baseline for most people is a fair bit of stuff, though you can argue what you need in the absolute immediacy is simply a car seat, single sleep space and a hospital bag worth of kit. However the luxury of the time to sort the rest tends to fall pre-baby!

Remember The Brittas Empire? The receptionist did that 😂

It doesn't sound like you've overbought OP. I think maybe the comments are because a lot of people do buy stuff they end up hardly using (eg lots of newborn clothes, a Moses basket the baby grows out of in a few weeks) so they're trying to help you not to do that. It sounds like you've been fairly restrained though.

I actually did this once ! We were visiting my mother in law and space was tight, so I piped up don’t worry she can sleep in a drawer! So she did - sort of, she kept shuffling up to the top! Looking back I’m sure my mother in law thought I was trying to prove some kind of point, I probably was to be honest !