To think it's not really true when people say you don't need much for a baby?

[NojitoandLime]

Preparing for first baby and everyone keeps telling me I don't need much.

I'm not one to buy things frivolously and I have got a lot of stuff second hand, but I still feel like it's quite a lot to have a comfortable and happy first 6 months or so!

We've spent quite a bit and we haven't gone overboard or gone for fancy brands. I mean... clothes, pram, nappies, wipes, creams, blankets, changing mat/bag, muslins, bottles, steriliser, crib/cot/somewhere to sleep, all the stuff mum needs to be comfy in hospital and after (maternity/nursing clothes, pads etc), car seat.

It's quite a lot and then most people want a couple of little extra luxuries for such an exciting time, like I've just got a bouncer and a couple of toys for when the baby's a bit older, nothing extravagant.

I know you could survive with hardly anything... like you could use a blanket instead of a changing mat... but everyone keeps telling me "you don't need much!" when actually I feel like the standard amount that people get is quite a lot.

People have raised an eyebrow when I've said my flat is overflowing with baby stuff, but it's just stuff I'm going to need and I have quite a small flat.

Maybe I'm just a minimalist and this seems a lot to me when it's actually not!

I mean you don’t need a lot, but even if you use something for 3 months it makes life easier! I currently have a my bassinet pram in the livingroom, a baby yoyo front facing in the kitchen and a bouncer, next to me, large cot and baby gym upstairs. I have a dog though so can’t just leave baby on the floor. But it means if he is sleeping I can push him around the house while I do stuff. I also use my sling every single day without fail. You don’t need lots of clothes…. If you plan on doing a wash every single day! You can get cheap bundles on Vinted so you can do a weekly wash instead of every second day.

What you don't need is much of anything new. We used second-hand virtually everything apart from a cot mattress. We even reused the car seat as it came from my mate and knew it was fine.

But yes it is a lot of clobber!

You really don't. They grow like weeds and are out of clothes in 5 minutes. I was a single mum at 21 and had a second hand cot I bought for peanuts and scrubbed, a moses basket which was a gift and I took him out in a baby sling because I didn't have a car and needed hands free to get my shopping home.
I knew he'd be out of clothes in no time so I just bought multipacks of baby grows in the supermarket and had hand me downs from relatives. Breastfed so no cleaning equipment or bottles and gave him a bath in the kitchen sink.
He didn't start costing me a lot until he started school by which time I was working full time again and able to afford it.
No pram needed, I just had my cousins old pushchair when he was old enough.

Honestly, just enjoy buying for your first baby! It’s a really special time. I will say that looking back we had far too much in terms of clothes and “bits” for example my DD is born in May and it was a warm one, she lived in vests or a babygrow for the first 3 months. I’m pregnant with our second and by this point in my last pregnancy, we had everything. This time I have about 6 babygrows, some vests and muslins.

Yes I think it's the uninvited opinions that bother me, I know that parenthood will be full of them!

I should just stop mentioning it really! People ask how we're getting on with the preparations, and I'll just say in an offhand way, 'oh the flat is very cluttered at the moment, all the stuff is in a massive pile and it needs organising, it's a lot!'... and then I get preached at because I apparently should have hardly anything at all 😅

People say that babies don’t need much when they compare them to older children, not non existent children. Compared to children, babies really don’t need much.

While it doesn’t sound like you’ve bought loads you just don’t know what is or isn’t going to be useful until baby arrives so I would listen to people and don’t buy anything else.
I bought a mix of newborn and 1 month clothing for DD. She was straight into 1 month and all the newborn stuff we never used. Then the up to 1 month clothing she was out of by 2 or 3 weeks.
Expecting baby number 2 and won’t even bother with newborn size this time.
It’s true though, you do only need a car seat, somewhere for them to sleep (a next to me etc.), a way to feed them and a couple of clothes initially. A pram/carrier is an essential but even then you can get next day delivery on most so if baby came early for instance it’s not the end of the world not even having a pram initially- plenty of people figure it out.
I wouldn’t buy a carrier without using one first (sling library etc.) as it’s such an individual/personal thing and lots of babies don’t like them anyway and you’ll have wasted so much money.
Even sterilisers you won’t know what will work for you until you try. Mam do self-sterilising bottles so if you bought those you don’t even need to rush out to buy a sterilised either or keep some Milton tabs handy until you choose one.
I was gifted a beautiful change bag which we used loads…. But it became apparent it was too small and I got a new one. Once you are experienced in the day to day of a change bag and how you like it laid out/what is handy you can buy a proper one then.
Even muslins, everyone kept banging on about how essential they are. I bought loads and didn’t have a sickie baby at all, so they became sun shades for the buggy in the end. I diligently packed a muslin into my bag everyday sure that it would save me at some point because I was told how essential they are then gave up because for my baby they actually weren’t useful at all.
Having a boy this time and people say they are more useful to protect yourself from the sprinkler when changing nappies, so will just reuse DD’s lovely pink muslins for him but certainly not rushing out to buy any more until he’s here and I know they are useful.

Going through DD’s old things at the moment and there are just so, so many things I look at and can only remember using once or twice, if at all.

I still vaguely remember being put to bed in a drawer when staying at a GM’s house. This was back in the Dark Ages though.

I agree that the standard amount of stuff that people buy is a lot, but some of it is completely unnecessary. Eg muslins - a soft towel or dish cloth works fine. Moses basket - just put baby in cot from the start. Steriliser - boiling bottles in a pan of water is a method of sterilisation (if you even need the bottles - you might not if you're breastfeeding). Wipes - get some old t-shirts, cut into little squares, use wet instead of wipes (wash them after a pee and bin them after a poo. Did this with my third child and wish I'd done it with the other two).
Besides, many people still have baby stuff that they are happy to give away. Both my mum and MIL gave us loads of stuff that they'd kept for 30 years!

I think people are trying to say - there is a lot of shit ‘gadgetry’ out there that you can spend a fortune on and the marketing people will have you believe you need a lot of stuff - when the reality is baby’s needs are pretty simple - warmth, clean clothes and milk…

yes of course a car seat is essential if you go in cars and a buggy etc - but a lot of the other stuff that baby magazines and baby shops will try and convince you is ‘essential’ just isn’t .

babies have survived for many millennia without a baby bath thermometer or heated baby wipes holder or a prep machine - yes all of this stuff can make life easier if you can afford it and have space - but it isn’t essential!

You haven't bought a lot, but it feels like a lot when you're in a small flat and when I visited other mums in their houses they had far more 'extras' than me because they had the space, and more relatives gifting those extras. That was a few years ago now and as a family of four in a small ish house we get rid of what we don't need as soon as we're done with it, whereas I find those with more space hang onto stuff for longer, and have more of it but it looks like less because of the space.

If you're in England, have you looked at the £500 maternity grant. It helps a lot. X

Plus, if you need something extra that you haven't got, you can get it then, there's no need to have it all before the baby's born. I remember my mum and sister being shocked that I didn't have a certain type of moses basket blanket so I went out and bought them, feeling like I didn't have a clue, I never did get round to using them as the stuff I'd originally bought was fine.

Our DS was prem. We hadn't bought anything. A friend visited in hospital and bought the maternity pads etc. and lent us a lot of stuff. Until he was 6 months, I don't think I bought any clothes - all gifted.

I didn't buy a changing bag until I saw a pretty one on offer that I did then use for holidays. Normally I just used my rucksack.

Useless stuff I never used - big plastic box for storing baby changing items, bucket, mobile.

Totally agree, weirdly I've been thinking this for the last week or so as we've taken our four month old DS! Yes there's lots of crap marketed at parents that you don't need, but is that what people actually mean? People kept saying it to me but then sending a gigantic list of all the things I apparently needed. I tried to stick to the NHS list of what a baby needs and even that is fairly long. I don't think it's true at all, we have a three bed house and it's still filled with bits!

I have a smiley memory of buying a ‘top and tail’ bowl to wash DC in at home when in the hospital I was given two foil pie dishes to do the same job!😆

And a baby monitor when we could hear DC’s cry from their cot, without it!

ETA - and a friend suggested a good idea was to buy baby shampoo and other baby toiletries in the weekly shop, whilst still working before maternity leave. Stockpile for when money is tight. I did…diligently…it felt as if DC’s were still washing their hair in baby shampoo at 15, I had saved so many bottles ( and if course a baby needs such a small amount of shampoo each wash!)

I dont rember having a lot of stuff, we had the basics and bought as we needed something

I'm.not sure prams are essentiall when my oldest was born my sister gave me her old pram and it was a big bulky thing, lovely looking but not really practical, I lived in a flat so it was hard to get in and out I used it about twice
We got a buggie with a cosy toes thing he could lie in but even that was bulky and not easy to fold ,I ended up getting a £15 stroller from he him being about 1 and I used it all the time.

You don't need a pram. I didn't have one for either of mine, through choice. Prams are a PITA.

They're right. You don't need most of the things people tell you you need for a new baby.

You need the following things:
Nappies (cloth or disposable)
A carseat - if you are driving
clothes or blankets

Everything else is nice, but not essential.

OK, but how many people do you know who have had a baby and actually only ever bought/ used these things and nothing else?

Why are so many people saying this to me when it's not actually what ANYONE does?

Everything else is nice, but not essential.

You could probably survive on a few nappies and wipes but the baby will have a pretty shit life. It's like saying an adult only needs a bag of bread, some cheese, some water and the clothes on their back to live. Will you stay alive? Probably. Will it be fun or enjoyable? Almost certainly not.

Because they don't know what is actually essential untill the baby is here
Take prams for exsmple you can spend thousands on them ,but they are often large, bulky and not very practical on a daily basis, but they do look nice.

I don't think you know if you need somethings until baby is here.
Pram/pushchair/sling - yes
Carseat if you are ever going in a car - yes
Nappies, clothes and wipes/flannels - yes

Everything else, maybe.
I got caught up in the hype of buying everything when I had DS1. I was young and so many people made nasty comments about how I'd cope, or wouldn't know what I was doing. I was desperate to prove them wrong. So I wasted money on a baby bath and stand, top and tail bowl, changing table, room thermometer, bath thermometer, bottles, steriliser, breast pump etc.
In reality though. I actually used the baby bath, although filling it up and emptying it was a faff and using it in the bath seemed pointless. The changing table was useful at night until I realised lying on the cold mat woke him up more and started doing it on my lap. Walking upstairs everytime he needed a nappy change in the daytime got boring quickly. He hated bottles and I didn't really like expressing so barely used any of that. Never needed muslins or bibs so most of them went unused to the charity shop. Never needed nipple cream.

But as I fell for the hype of it all I'd Never tell new mums they don't need a lot because I hated people saying it to me.

Yes absolutely! Hearing this drove me nuts, as did people saying ‘oh you won’t need to buy much, people will hand you down everything you need’! We had the first grandchild/cousin on both sides of the family, and all of our friends either hadn’t had kids yet or were saving their baby stuff for their 2nd/3rd, so we ended up buying pretty much everything. Honestly don’t stress about it! And enjoy doing a bit of shopping 😊