To think it's not really true when people say you don't need much for a baby?

[NojitoandLime]

Preparing for first baby and everyone keeps telling me I don't need much.

I'm not one to buy things frivolously and I have got a lot of stuff second hand, but I still feel like it's quite a lot to have a comfortable and happy first 6 months or so!

We've spent quite a bit and we haven't gone overboard or gone for fancy brands. I mean... clothes, pram, nappies, wipes, creams, blankets, changing mat/bag, muslins, bottles, steriliser, crib/cot/somewhere to sleep, all the stuff mum needs to be comfy in hospital and after (maternity/nursing clothes, pads etc), car seat.

It's quite a lot and then most people want a couple of little extra luxuries for such an exciting time, like I've just got a bouncer and a couple of toys for when the baby's a bit older, nothing extravagant.

I know you could survive with hardly anything... like you could use a blanket instead of a changing mat... but everyone keeps telling me "you don't need much!" when actually I feel like the standard amount that people get is quite a lot.

People have raised an eyebrow when I've said my flat is overflowing with baby stuff, but it's just stuff I'm going to need and I have quite a small flat.

Maybe I'm just a minimalist and this seems a lot to me when it's actually not!

I had one of these and was brilliant. You don't need a changing table. I'd just stick this in my handbag or you can use it on a bed
https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1707754242/rainbow-changing-mat-with-pockets-nappy?ref=shop_home_feat_4&frs=1&logging_key=d748b2f3fa0428ad30f1e715c2ebb1cc46bbea45%3A1707754242

I think people mean you don't need the baby bath, the bath thermometer, the perfect prep kit, the white noise machines, endless teddies....

Actually the one thing I wish I had got which I didn't was a proper nursing chair. My back has never been the same!

I tried a sling, hated it, never used it.

That's the problem, you need loads of stuff, but until you experiment with every baby (because they're all different) you don't really know what you need.

I bought LOADS of things, only thing I didn't use was the sling. And the swaddling blankets 😂

All I really used for my first was a sling and baby clothes/ nappies.
There was one vibrating baby seat that my colleagues got me for £40 that she really liked when she was tiny.

Ignore most people.

I had that with baby monitor, with nappy bin.
YOU might not need a nappy bin Irma, in your big house with a metal rubbish bin left just outside, in front of your utility room door

ME living in a top floor flat and not in the mood for stocking stinky nappies or go 4 flights of stairs to dispose of nappies one at a time.. nappy bins was an excellent purchase.

Quite, pram, buggy, carrycoat

whatever the name is just the same thing. You need one! or you never walk anywhere with your baby and that's weird.

I think it can be a mistake buying a lot if stuff in advance because until the baby arrives you're not sure what you need and you can buy things later. For my first we did literally just buy a car seat, a sling and some white baby grows. We were given some cloth nappies.
We co-slept and I breastfed so we didn't buy a cot or bottles.

Once we were home from hospital we decided a moses basket would be useful for daytime sleeping so we got a second hand one. We bought/were given a lot more stuff as time went on but only as we found we actually needed it.

Baby's don't need much, you definitely don't need a changing table, take that from someone with a chronic back injury 😄

People buy things because they want to, think they should, people tell tel, they're guilted into it but 80% of it just isn't required.

Ds definitely creates more clutter now at 5 years then he ever did as a newborn. A newborn baby just stays where you put them and doesn’t make a mess

I currently have a car track covering floor, ‘art work’ of a million bits of paper he brought back from kindergarten today, and a semi flooded bathroom after he filled the sink for toy fish…

No pram anymore, but a large bike, scooter, chalk, badminton rackets, football, rain gear, now take its space.

Things like changing table, yes you can use your bed - or the floor or whatever, but they are also so useful to store all the nappies and everything.

That's why parents buy a lot of things, you use them but storage is important too

Pram, car seat, cot. Nappies, clothes, wipes.I think I had one blanket which was a gift for when baby was in the pram. I had a changing mat bag thing. Muslins yes. No steriliser. No moses basket. No changing table. I did have a Bouncy chair.
Stuff for mum yes but that’s not bought all at once. And other stuff too - but remember you may well be gifted half the items. Toys you don’t need right away. I think the first thing we got was a playmat with some textured bits and an arch with hanging toys. I don’t think that’s slot. Oh I also had a baby bath. And a baby Bjørn.

toys get smaller as they get older

BUT are replaced by sport and music kits. The amount of STUFF you need for one sport and one person, so multiplied by the amount of people in the house, it's painful!

With my first I had way too much stuff

second time I cut back - literally had the pram, sling, went straight to a big cot my older one used - didn’t bother with a basket or next to me as wasn’t necessary!

car seat and bouncer chair was the only other things (I never used the car seat actually as we walked home from the hospital and don’t have a car 🤣)

with clothes I have very few because I do a wash pretty much every day and it dries quick - we have a small flat so not a lot of space to store loads so I prefer less and too wash more often

I did that!! Actually not something I'd normally admit to had you not mentioned it. I also just used a folded up blanket on the floor and put swaddled baby straight on it too (before they were able to roll.) ..and this was in the early 00s, and not in a deprived area 😅

Different people find different things useful.
People always say baby baths are pointless - I used mine loads. My bath has high sides so I used it on the bathroom floor and it was great. I didn’t want to use the sink - I’m short and being close to the ground was just easier.
I also used my travel system loads - for years. I loved the big pram and it was great for the amount of walking we did. I know someone whose wife got rid of the same one after a week (she drove everywhere).

I wish I had bought more vests/sleepsuits/bedding as i had underestimated the amount of times they got covered in Poo/wee/sick - and had to dash out and buy more.

I got a lot of stuff for my PFB, I’m currently pregnant with number 3 and honestly might just have her sleep in a shoe box and dress her in a burlap sack 😂.

Realistically though, you don't only need nappies and blankets.

I don't know a single person who's had a baby and had nothing but nappies and blankets, even when I worked with teenage/ young mums who were really struggling, they still had baby paraphernalia.

It doesn't feel very helpful if I tell people that my 1 bed flat is becoming a bit cluttered and they respond 'well you only need nappies and blankets'... It's just not really actually true or what anyone does.

I haven't gone overboard but feel like people are telling me I have been extravagant. The truth is that there just is quite a lot of stuff that comes with babies!

We aren't at a different point in history though, or a different place.

We live within cultural norms.

Yet people who are my contemporaries, living in the same place, time and culture, are telling me I should only buy nappies and blankets and nothing else, making me feel bad for getting a second hand pram or a cot, making out that this is extravagant when it's just what everyone does (and also when these things are actually very useful?!)

It makes no sense.

Well you asked for opnions
Anyway you will know in a few months when the baby is here if everything you have bought is necessary

Honestly, people give you opinions and shit advice over everything baby related. This is just the start of it.

I got to a point where I stopped telling people stuff. I stopped complaining or saying I found XYZ hard because all I got was unhelpful advice with some judgment sprinkled on top.

When people ask me how my baby is doing or what motherhood is like, I reply:amazing, I love every minute, it's hard at times, but it's just the best thing ever. It's bullshit but the only reply that doesn't invite comments or opinions.

Is it Sweden where they get the baby box? To be honest both of mine were very averse to being put down and never really slept in their moses basket. They also were both too big for it by 3 months so I could've got away with a cot. Things I didn't need were a fancy nappy bin and changing table.

@WonderingWanda we get baby boxes in Scotland as well. Some people say they’re shit but I got it anyway because free stuff and I actually rate it. It also has a thing on the outside to colour in so I gave my DD the “very important job” of doing that. Never seen her so focused. It can also be used as a bed.

People are only saying that because you're moaning about all the clutter in your flat. I'm not sure what you expect people to say. If you think your flat is cluttered, they're right, you could manage with less stuff. If you want the stuff, stop moaning about all the stuff.

Umm, what is a 'special' muslin/ blanket?

I've bought two packs of 3 Boots essential own brand muslins for burping etc. Haven't bought a single blanket because we've been given a few.

Haven't bought anything for changing other than a single pack of nappies, small pot of cream and some cotton wool. I'll probably get a changing table at some point after the baby is born because I have a bad back, but I'll see how it goes and if there's space.

'If you don't want comments, stop harping on to people about how full/crammed with baby stuff your flat is!'

When people ask me how we're doing with preparing for the baby, why am I not allowed to comment that there is a surprising amount of clutter in my flat now, without people basically shaming me for getting normal baby stuff?

I just wasn't expecting there to be this much stuff, but it is all normal stuff that people buy.

They could just say 'ah yes, babies do come with a lot of stuff don't they?' rather than judging my decision to get things like (shock horror) a pram and a crib and telling me I shouldn't have bothered.

They could just say 'ah yes, babies do come with a lot of stuff don't they?' rather than judging my decision to get things like (shock horror) a pram and a crib and telling me I shouldn't have bothered

And you could say 'Ah thanks for asking Jean, yes we're getting on well thanks, I think we're all set now' - rather than going into detail about how crammed and cluttered your flat is now!

You can't control exactly how conversations go 🤷‍♀️ If you keep mentioning how cluttered your flat is though, people will keep suggesting things to help.

If this really really bothers you then I'd buckle up for a rough ride once you actually have a baby. The advice will never, ever stop whether you ask for it or not 😂

I think it seems like a lot because they grow so quickly and because you don’t know what will be useful for that particular baby before s/he arrives.

We bought nearly everything second hand, or repurposed what we had (our changing table was an old kitchen table in a niche in DS‘ room, it later became DH‘s Covid WFH desk). We also got given a lot, either as presents or as huge boxes from neighbours clearing out their kids‘ stuff. Where possible we got stuff that would last - our highchair was a Tripp Trapp which grows with the child, and our car seats after the infant carrier were stage 2/3/4 combined.

Now he’s older, we‘ll sometimes buy new as he has it for longer.