To think it's not really true when people say you don't need much for a baby?

[NojitoandLime]

Preparing for first baby and everyone keeps telling me I don't need much.

I'm not one to buy things frivolously and I have got a lot of stuff second hand, but I still feel like it's quite a lot to have a comfortable and happy first 6 months or so!

We've spent quite a bit and we haven't gone overboard or gone for fancy brands. I mean... clothes, pram, nappies, wipes, creams, blankets, changing mat/bag, muslins, bottles, steriliser, crib/cot/somewhere to sleep, all the stuff mum needs to be comfy in hospital and after (maternity/nursing clothes, pads etc), car seat.

It's quite a lot and then most people want a couple of little extra luxuries for such an exciting time, like I've just got a bouncer and a couple of toys for when the baby's a bit older, nothing extravagant.

I know you could survive with hardly anything... like you could use a blanket instead of a changing mat... but everyone keeps telling me "you don't need much!" when actually I feel like the standard amount that people get is quite a lot.

People have raised an eyebrow when I've said my flat is overflowing with baby stuff, but it's just stuff I'm going to need and I have quite a small flat.

Maybe I'm just a minimalist and this seems a lot to me when it's actually not!

@x2boys Thanks
the ones I looked at were supposed to be fancy electric one, tommee tippee or similar. Over €100 and took about an hour I think!
Figured I would wait incase I couldn’t bf and needed 10+ bottle sterilised and my
midwife said just wash the bottle in hot soapy water and sterilise in hot water pan once a day ( we never used more than 1 bottle a day)

like this
https://www.naturalbabyshower.co.uk/products/tommee-tippee-uv-steriliser-dryer?_pos=1&_sid=b460f873b&_ss=r
‘time saving’ apparently 🙄 - I wouldn’t call an hour time saving

Most people use a pram/carrycot though, don't they? I couldn't carry mine in a sling for very long, I'm small and had big babies & it killed my back! I used the pram every day for walks and babies slept downstairs in it for naps. Could get all my shopping underneath it too!

With our second we were about to move house and were very casual. No special towels or flannels, breastfed so no equipment needed. Plus I'm mean and would take out a wet flannel in a baggy and pack a dry one too rather than buy wipes. I remember saying to the visiting midwife 'I'm buying nothing, we're packing' while the newborn was in a carrycot on an upturned box.

I call bullshit on this. No one has ever not needed a pram.

@BarnacleBeasley - we used a changing mat on a normal chest of drawers. Used for every change for 2 years until potty trained. As we use washable nappies and wipes it was far easier to have water, dirty nappy storage all in one place. And near a bathroom sink.
So the mat at about £10 was the only bought item, the drawers we already had and became Ds clothes/ nappy/ etc storage. He uses the same drawers now years on, just donated mat

Obviously not very practical if you live in a flat - when I say pram I mean carrycot/some kind of vehicle for taking baby out for walks. I couldn't use a sling for very long as it killed my back, my babies were heavy! Carrycot is useful for baby to sleep in during the day in the lounge too.

What the hell is that lol.

Seriously, just buy some milton tablets. 20 in a box that fits in any drawer or cupboard for like £2. You don't even need to boil the water. Just bung whatever you are sterilising in a bowl of cold water, chuck in a tablet, and it's done in 15 minutes. You can even use the water again, it stays good for 24 hours.

I got told this method is too "old school". I swear people spend all this money and go to all this faff just because it's the current "done" thing. Oh well, it's their cash and their time.

Everyone will have an opinion on everything you do and don’t do for the foreseeable future.

It’s not that I don’t agree with you op, but if you waste energy overthinking other people’s idiotic opinions and why they feel compelled to share then, you’ll wear yourself out.

There’s no simple, straightforward way to garner other people’s respect and good opinion, once you bring a baby into the world.
So if you have a need for approval, or are a bit of a people pleaser, use this as an opportunity to toughen up.

I used my pram about twice ,obviously we got a pushchair that the baby can lie down but the pram was impractical for me.

We always found cold water sterilising with milton tablets the most convenient - but I have to say we did find it handy to have a proper sterilising tub (large capacity, secure screw on lid) to do it in - otherwise you can't use your mixing bowl for cooking and you're slopping milton water everywhere.

@Endofyear - we did use our pram a lot. But I also used sling a lot. Almost daily until Ds was about 2.5 years. He was 9lb born and I’m pretty small, but if you carry daily your body adapts I think as weight gradually increases not a sudden 2 year old.
We live abroad and a pram isn’t helpful often, ie even our doctors is on 2nd floor with no lift, so a pram with newborn or lugging a car seat is worse than sling. Also things like food delivery don’t exist and supermarkets have no baby seats so I used sling for every shop. We also have steps to our front door

People have raised an eyebrow when I've said my flat is overflowing with baby stuff, but it's just stuff I'm going to need

Nahhh, it's not. Not if your flat is 'overflowing' with stuff. It's stuff that you've bought because marketing has told you you need special muslins and special blankets and a special surface to change them on and sit them on etc etc. Lots of it won't be essential though.

You probably won't use some of it. You won't realise until you get there though. And you'll be telling people the same in 5 years time.

If you don't want comments, stop harping on to people about how full/crammed with baby stuff your flat is! People try to help and suggest remedies to problems and they'll keep doing that until you stop framing your baby stuff as a problem.

You'll get what they mean when baby arrives. Some of those "essentials" you've bought in preparation won't see the light of day. I can also guarantee that your DH will need to run out for something that you would never have thought of.
We've got 24hour supermarkets and next day delivery these days. If you've got a little flat I'd operate an in and out as needed system or you'll end up overflowing with baby stuff. You really don't need to prep for 6 months up front.

@comeandhaveteawithme
My Ds is now 5 years! We have no need for any kind of sterilisation. The sauce pan was adequate. He started licking the floor from crawling about 4 months old, so I wasn’t too worried
saved £129 it seems

Sorry - I know I quoted you but I meant the milton comment as a generic one.

I hardly sterilised anything, I breastfed and didn't use dummies. I did sterilise my pump and the odd bottle on the very rare occasion I pumped enough for a Nan to have him for the night. I think maybe twice in his first year.

£129 is mad for some weird steam cupboard thing.

YANBU - tbf we bought almost everything and we’ve needed most of it now DC is 6 months old. We didn’t use the bassinet part of travel system, the next to me or moses basket much (reflux baby hated lying down). No steriliser - used a silicone pouch in microwave and/or milton. All these people saying they coped with a cardboard box and some old rags surprise me.

and not everyone gets handmedowns given to them either!

Me! I did. Youngest of ten though and the main reason was that there was no room for a cot in a bedroom already shared by 3 teenaged and older girls. We were poor too and I was a late "surprise" so the cots would have long gone from our house. I was in the drawer till I was considered big enough to sleep in a big bed next to my sister - probably around 6 months.

It’s absolutely not bonkers to want some kind of pram for your newborn. I used a sling more than the pram with my firstborn, (no lift in our flat at the time) but having had my second child two weeks and with the hot weather we’ve been having, the pram is essential. This time I have to leave the house to do school runs, and maybe I’m just older or maybe it’s because my husband took less paternity leave this time, but I needed to be able to walk a mile with my baby and primary school aged child every morning from 10 days after the birth. My abs and pelvic floor are very happy I have a pram and a lift up to our flat. I’m sure the sling will get more use again soon but right now that pram is an essential, not a nice-to-have or an unnecessary luxury.

I don't imagine it's much different to a moses,basket really with padding and blankets etc.

Carseat, clothes, a blanket and nappies are the only real essentials I found. It all depends on how you want to do it. I breastfed, coslept and used a stretchy wrap from birth with my second, so we didn't need bottles, cribs/moses baskets or a pram. My mum insisted on getting us one of the cosleeper sidecar beds but it got used maybe twice.

I bought way too much for my eldest only to find we stopped using the pram as soon as I discovered baby wearing, used the cot once and decided that outfits like jeans looked cute but where totally impractical and uncomfortable compared to romper suits/vets & leggings. The second time around I bought less but nicer/softer and more practical clothing, and completely refused to buy a pram.

Until they're a few months old you really can get away with buying barely anything if that's how you want to do it.

Only nobodies saying that are they?they are just saying that lots of things people buy that they think will.be essential often arnt.

My mum allegedly slept in a drawer. Sometimes they even opened it

When people tell you not to buy too much because you don’t need it, they’re talking about changing stations, nursery furniture that is too small to hang their clothes after a couple of years, breastfeeding chair, nappy stackers, breathing monitors, crazy expensive travel systems that cost as much as a second hand car, or all manner of ridiculously costly items that are marketed at first time mums.

You’ll also get people telling you that they swore by their £300 breast pump or the stuff listed above, but you’ll also manage perfectly well without it.

If you can’t move in your entire flat from a crib, a car seat, a folded down pram and a few clothes and small bits, you might want to think about moving. You’ll have to find space for the toy boxes, Little Tikes cosy coupe, the balance bike, play kitchen and trampette in a couple of years, then you’ll understand the concept of clutter! 😂

It’s more that you don’t need to spend a lot of money. The charity shop near me always has good quality prams and high chairs in stock. People will give you baby grow and vests. Yes they’ll be second hand but perfectly wearable.
a lot of stuff available you don’t need they are just nice to have.

yes that!

I spent an absolute fortune on a travel system, best money I've ever spent. I missed it so much 😂, you could just chuck everything and not carry any bag.

Chosing the right one for my lifestyle was painful, there are so many, but so worth it.

I borrowed a cheap one from a friend to go on holiday once. A cheap crap buggy was horrendous, decent ones are fabulous.