Was dh out of order?

[autienotnaughty]

Eldest dd moved out a few months ago after buying a house. I wanted to keep her bedroom for a bit but she wanted to take her bed with her.

Dh works from home 2/3 days a week and more recently due to the project he is working on. We discussed putting a desk in dds old room and getting a futon for when we have guests.

we bought a futon and looked at several corner desks , it’s a single bedroom so with the futon and a corner desk the room wound be pretty full. I said to dh to choose any of the desks as they alllooked great.

a few weeks later the desk arrives, it’s massive it takes up 3/4s if the room! Dh says when family stop the will have more room as they can sleep under the desk!

im annoyed as there’s lees room and it feels less comfortable fir guests (mostly dd but my sister also stops regularly.

aibu to be annoyed?

Maybe he misunderstood being told to pick any desk…

I am a bit puzzled about how they sleep under the desk. Do you mean on the floor?

I'm sorry, but you did say to him to choose any of the desks they all look great. So no I don't think your dh was out of order.

Did he know it would be huge and take up most of the room and wasn’t one you’d agreed to/looked at together?

If so, then YANBU as you need somewhere for guests to sleep and “under the desk” is far from comfortable in my opinion!

If not and it was a mistake then YABU to be annoyed UNLESS he refuses to send it back and get a smaller one! (Or he has some legitimate reason to need a giant desk for his job, which I doubt!)

So he chose a different desk?

Yes, you asked him to choose any but any normal thinking person would measure said desk to ensure it fits appropriately in the room? I’d suggest he send it back!

So, what he's saying is that with a smaller desk, when the futon is open there will be very little room anyway? With a bigger desk, the open futon can stretch under it, so feet would be under the desk.

Sounds fine to me. He gets a bigger desk. Room is cramped either way if anyone stays over so may as well work better for him. People staying over will be much rarer than him using the desk several days per week, maybe evenings etc.

I see his point. Since you won't be unconvenienced whatsoever by a smaller desk, it's no surprise that you think he should be putting others' (your guests) needs above his own. But you're not actually happy to put his needs first.

The person working in the room, who is there full time would and does come before guests here.
yabu - he needs to work guests don’t have to stay in your house

Tricky, because home office should take priority over guests

but realistically I would have got something that still allows a spare bed, especially for my own child.

Is there genuinely no room to put a bed? Someone will end up having to sleep in the living room if not!

If it's just putting your feet under an enormous desk, it's not a big deal, but I struggle to imagine how a double size futon could fit?

it's their daughter... I quite like my kids to always be welcome to visit to be honest!

Sure I'd like my kids to always be welcome but when my ds moves out (he's 18 so a few years off) one of my younger kids will get his room as they currently share
Yabu to expect your dh to keep a room as spare for occasional guests.

You both agreed to a futon and a desk and you said to order any of the desks but neither you or DH checked dimensions or measured the room? Both equally at fault I would say. Send the desk back and get something that fits.

How often is "often" for having guests?

So the desk works as standing and sitting so I have to raise it to standing and when I pull the futon out it goes under the desk

Ahh I wasn’t clear the deck he picked wasn’t in the ones we had chose together

Let it be… I don’t think guest will care tbh … it’s just a place to sleep

I don't see the problem?

He is using the room as an office which is sensible given it's an empty room in your home and there's still space for the futon to open if someone comes to stay?

I'd be pissed off, but also I'm in the same situation and I've chosen a desk that fits in tiny room with bed and it's awful to work at. It feels like I'm just up against the wall. So I do think he's right as it has to work for him.

If the room was being used where weee guests staying before?
I don’t think guests should really come above someone who lives in the home. He works from home most of the week.

So the plan was a corner desk at one side of the room with the futon at the other. When the futon is out there would be half the room is futon a third of the remaining room is the desk and the rest is space ti walk around etc.

what dh did was chose a desk that takes up 3/4 of the room. The futon is underneath it. When you pull the futon out it’s half under the desk half not. The only available floor space is the doorway. So guests have to dress etc sat on the futon.

Yes he measured

We measured, picked out 5dedks. I said choose any he bought one not on the list that was completely different to all the others

This needs a diagram

Dd whenever she likes. She’s stopped twice in past few months but doesn’t like it. My sister visits 4 times a year for 1-2 weeks. Very occasionally a friend or ils will stop . Maybe 8 weeks a year in total?

When dd lived at home she stayed at bf or was at uni so we made it work.

Where did guests sleep and where did DH work before DD left home?