Friend pissed off I didn’t eat all of the dinner she made me

[HattieD]

Can I ask if you think I was unreasonable? We (my husband and I) had a dinner at my friends (and her husbands) house on Saturday. They weren’t free in the day, so prior to this, we went to an event at a local pub. This was from 2-5, and they had a free BBQ which we had a bite to eat from.

We’d told our friends about the event and the free BBQ being an added bonus. Dinner was served about 6.30 (earlier than we’d usually eat but no issue) and our friend had made a lovely but substantial meal. I gave it a good go, and probably ate about 70% of it, with DH eating slightly more of his.

On Sunday, my friend messaged to say she thought it was rude we ate at the pub and that we left ‘so much’ of our dinner. I reiterated how much we enjoyed the food and said that it was a very generous portion.

I just think that if we hadn’t mentioned the BBQ, she’d have been none the wiser and probably wouldn’t have said anything about the decent amount of food we ate?

You’d be wrong.

its extremely common where I live.

Vast majority of people are home between 4-5.30. I barely know anyone who eats later than 6.30pm

but by the same token if you have been offered dinner and agree to it, its then wasteful to attend a bbq before hand and have food then

now I want a mac burger and there are none round here

Tbh even I could eat that in three bites if hungry.
And I am one of grazing people slowly goinv through my food.
And slim for anyone already concerned 😅

its wasteful???? honestly?????

but if it results in left over food from the dinner then thats wasteful

come and join me in the sinful gobblers corner

yes with the cost of living, its wasting food

This. And I'm trying to lose weight so I'd certainly not want a big portion, no matter what I'd eaten during the rest of the day.

Your timings are a bit off … it was a burger at 2.45 and dinner at 6.30 .. and when is a BBQ burger (and chips for dh) “picky food”?

MN needs to bring 🤣 emoji back.
Gobble gobble

Why are adults having a dinner party at 6:30? Do you have very young children there too?

yeah so much to laugh at secretly on here (onely the poster and the reactor see it)

mac's kids meal sized deffo a tide an adult over snack

I think it's normal to leave some food behind and while I prefer self-serve, if plating up I think it's more polite to give a bigger portion with the assumption they'll just stop when they're full. If someone finished it all I'd worry they were still hungry. So in that regard if 70% is a good estimate then I would think that reasonable.

Why not letting the guests help themselves?

many of us have been raised to finish our plate when we are invited somewhere, and it's horrible to have to stuff yourself when you were full after half the plate.
If someone finish their plate, I just think they're being polite .

If you serve more than you expect them to eat, you make them suffer for no reason 😂

Just let people decide on their portion? Appetite varies all the time anyway.

I do, which is why I said I prefer self-serve. I'm saying that in a plating up situation like happened here, I would be worried about not giving them enough and leaving them hungry. That is the problem with plating up for people - you're having to make an assumption either way about how much they eat. I'm agreeing with you.

Your friend was rude.
Massive portions are off putting.
I serve food in dishes and they serve themselves.
Same with my children.
No waste.
It was the way I was reared.
Hate waste.
Big portions are totally off putting.

This is akin to 'there's starving children in Africa' trope that parents would use to force their children to eat more

If she didn't want to waste food she shouldn't have plated it up, you don't dictate to a guest in your home how much they should eat. That is BU

I wouldn’t have said anything, but I’d be pretty pissed off if I’d invited you round for dinner, spent ages cooking, and you turned up having had a late, big lunch.
It’s not rude to not finish your whole plate. But you shouldn’t have mentioned the bbq.

a free BBQ at a pub is a large lunch?

Or... don't plate up huge servings of food for people, let them serve themselves, or offer small portions and let people have seconds if they want it.

its the fact of dont attend a bbq if your already attending a dinner with a friend. you choose one or the other

yes depending on whats on offer etc

OK, I'll bite.
Reading town centre, which includes two shopping centres plus high street shops. Primark is on the main high street and closes at 8pm. John Lewis closes "early" at 7pm. Google away!

Why?