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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why people fuck about so much?

510 replies

comeandhaveteawithme · 23/06/2025 14:40

My local skip is a very busy place. There is often a huge queue of cars and once you are in the queue, you absolutely cannot leave, there is no way of driving out of it or turning around due to the way it's structured. You're going through the skip, and that's that.

Today, I was in the queue of doom and a worker walked along the line of cars and told everyone that they just needed to use the crusher before they could let anyone through and to do that, they needed to wait until the cars already parked up and using the skips, had all left, then they could use the crusher and start letting people in again. It was my lunchbreak so I was in a bit of a rush, but nothing I could do.

But watching the people already using the skip was so irritating. They knew there was a line of approximately 20-30 cars waiting, they knew no one else could enter until every car had gone, but they all sauntered back and forth with their stuff from their boots, they stopped and chatted to one another, one guy had a quick cigarette before getting in his car, another sat in the drivers seat and did something on his phone before slowly putting on his seatbelt and leaving...

I just cannot understand people who are so incredibly slow and insist on doing unnecessary things in busy places where people are clearly waiting to use the thing they are using.

The other day, a waitress bringing our food to out table stopped mid-way and chatted to a customer she knew, while holding our plates of food, letting them get cold - why? talk on the way back if you must!

And the amount of people I see letting their toddlers use their debit cards to pay while smiling indulgently as the kids drops the card or taps it wrong with a queue of people waiting, or who stand at the till transferring money, or ask the bus driver an endless series of questions with a whole busload of people waiting, plus the 50 cars behind the bus....

If you are one of these people who fuck about, why? and are you also irritated by the fucking about or am I just far too angry?

OP posts:
ThisOchreScroller · 23/06/2025 14:45

YANBU. I hate it too. Not so bothered about things like workers chatting on tills and stuff which seems to wind up others (because I know what working in retail can be like), but it's the ones in queues with either absolutely no self-awareness or an extremely high level of selfishness! My pet hate is people who park at Pay at Pump and then wander into the shop to get chewing gum.

comeandhaveteawithme · 23/06/2025 14:47

ThisOchreScroller · 23/06/2025 14:45

YANBU. I hate it too. Not so bothered about things like workers chatting on tills and stuff which seems to wind up others (because I know what working in retail can be like), but it's the ones in queues with either absolutely no self-awareness or an extremely high level of selfishness! My pet hate is people who park at Pay at Pump and then wander into the shop to get chewing gum.

Edited

Oh god - petrol station shoppers!

I honestly think they shouldn't sell anything except petrol.

OP posts:
TigerRag · 23/06/2025 14:47

I had this a few weeks ago. Asked someone to move out of my train seat which was by the door. He did. But he stood talking to his girlfriend and going as slowly as he could.

ohtowinthelottery · 23/06/2025 14:47

Same at the petrol station. Queue of cars waiting to fill up but they go in to pay, faff about choosing sweets, pay then stroll back to their cars then pratt about putting their cards back into their purse/wallet, check their phones, look in their vanity mirrors before finally getting around to putting their seat belts on, starting the engine and moving off the pumps.

Sort your sh*t out elsewhere not at the petrol pump.

ClareBlue · 23/06/2025 14:48

Do you not build in 'other people arsing about' time into any task that has to be achieved. It varies from around 10 percent for food to an eye watering 50 percent for any activity at a Post Office. Supermarket car parks 20 percent, bank cash lodgement 15 percent, etc etc
If you do this it makes life easier to navigate.

Wintershealing · 23/06/2025 14:50

These are most likely the same people who faff at petrol stations!

I had it yesterday, it was busy and the man could see there was people waiting, but he still chose to go at snails pace, get his (approximately 8 year old) daughter out the car to slowly walk in to pay. He could have paid at the pump... I ended up going to another pump that became free on the other side, filled up/paid at pump and as I was leaving he was only just coming out (there's nothing to buy other than chocolate/crisps in this particular garage so he wasn't even doing his weekly shop). Just an asshole who's in his own world!

comeandhaveteawithme · 23/06/2025 14:51

ClareBlue · 23/06/2025 14:48

Do you not build in 'other people arsing about' time into any task that has to be achieved. It varies from around 10 percent for food to an eye watering 50 percent for any activity at a Post Office. Supermarket car parks 20 percent, bank cash lodgement 15 percent, etc etc
If you do this it makes life easier to navigate.

I factored in "people fucking about" time, but I didn't factor in "tip workers needing to use the crusher" time as I have never experienced this before. I'm not going in my lunchbreak again, that's for sure.

OP posts:
AIAgent · 23/06/2025 14:53

I often find myself thinking like this OP and being frustrated.

My reflection is I’m time poor and also tend to want to get stuff done quickly - neither of which is always healthy for me or a relaxing way to live.

Hard to stop myself being impatient at times. Also slightly envious of people able to take a more relaxed approach.

PocketSand · 23/06/2025 15:01

I have the opposite complaint re local recycling centre. A year ago you could just rock up. Well used but never over busy as in a rural area. Now we have to book online. Reduced use by about 75%. No doubt it will be closed due to underuse in the near future.

Ablondiebutagoody · 23/06/2025 15:07

Presumably at midday on a Monday they are mainly pensioners with all the time in the world. Although you would think they might want to make the most of what's left rather than fannying around at the tip. Or for there to always be 2 queuing for air in the petrol station at 8am.

StrawberrySquash · 23/06/2025 15:13

The worst is trying to manage family/friends. People get funny if you try and move them along, but please can we get to this attraction before it closes.

squashyhat · 23/06/2025 15:16

Ablondiebutagoody · 23/06/2025 15:07

Presumably at midday on a Monday they are mainly pensioners with all the time in the world. Although you would think they might want to make the most of what's left rather than fannying around at the tip. Or for there to always be 2 queuing for air in the petrol station at 8am.

🙄

CanIinterestyouinasarcasticcomment · 23/06/2025 15:16

The people at petrol stations that get back in their car, adjust the mirror, fasten their seat belt, start looking for their keys, or have a quick drink, start the car, then slowly pull away, completely ignoring the huge line of people waiting.

Just get in the car and piss off!! Surely your mirror is adjusted and your keys should be in your hand!!

yakkity · 23/06/2025 15:18

I’m convinced the people who are leaving a parking spot who see you waiting and then fanny about are doing it intentionally. It’s like a petty little control thing

Spirallingdownwards · 23/06/2025 15:19

I agree with some of your examples but not others. For example, when else are you going to ask the bus driver your queries but when you get on and get to the front of that queue?

ThomasShelbysfagend · 23/06/2025 15:23

When people get to the till then it’s an utter surprise to them that they need to get a card out to pay. Then ensues a delve in bags and pockets looking for it.
Then… after paying, faffing and fanying around putting the card back into the purse, back into the bag, zipping the bag up carefully… then packing the shopping…
Dear God!!

PandoraSocks · 23/06/2025 15:24

Ablondiebutagoody · 23/06/2025 15:07

Presumably at midday on a Monday they are mainly pensioners with all the time in the world. Although you would think they might want to make the most of what's left rather than fannying around at the tip. Or for there to always be 2 queuing for air in the petrol station at 8am.

They are probably decluttering their houses in anticipation of death. They get criticised for not doing so on MN.

Everything is the fault of pensioners, according to MN.

Brenda34 · 23/06/2025 15:25

I used to be exactly like you OP. I'm not sure why I've changed but just reading your post reminded me how horrible it felt to be like that. I don't know what changed me but I'm relieved to not be like that any more. It's so stressful!

SayDoWhatNow · 23/06/2025 15:25

I think this is partly cultural. When I first met my DH, he would do things like wait in a long queue at a bakery/cafe and then spend ages asking the assistant for recommendations, asking about the baked goods and faff around making up his mind what to get. While steam came out of my ears and I got more and more stressed about holding up the line.

We talked about it a few times and his perspective was basically that he had waited his turn like everyone else and wanted to get the most out of it. And he expected that everyone else would do the same, because that's how things work in his home country. He was quite surprised to think that everyone else was trying to be speedy and cause the least inconvenience possible to total strangers.

Over time, I think we've both mellowed out a bit. I'm less stressed about taking the time I actually need, and he's more aware that he might be trespassing on other people's consideration and faffs less!

Gepl · 23/06/2025 15:28

People fanny about it to a shocking degree.

The worst is train travel. If you have a seat reservation, it’s a simple system consisting of a carriage letter and a seat number. Yet people wander up and down the aisle, staring deeply at their ticket like it’s War and Peace, debating with the person their travelling with whether it’s the right seat - it has the right number and this is the right carriage, but is it the right seat?? It’s absolutely painful.

Anycrispsleft · 23/06/2025 15:29

Tips seem to be a magnet for this sort of fuckery. The one in my hometown has space for 4 cars and it's always queued for miles so sometimes you see people who are passengers in the cars, if they don't have too much stuff, getting out the car and then walking down to the tip. They can then get back in the car and leave, speeding things up for the remaining queuers - crucially, without slowing down the people who are parked in the tip, because it's a big tip and there are several containers for every type of rubbish/recycling. But one of the guys who works there doesn't like it because they're jumping the queue, so he sends them back to wait in their cars. God it irritates fuck out of me every time I go.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/06/2025 15:30

Most of this I agree 100% with

I’m not a faffer and don’t really hold with faffers.

The one thing I don’t agree with is re moving off from a petrol pump - I think people are fine to just make sure the sat nav is on, set their mirrors straight if needed, have a sip of water etc before moving off. Then they’re all ready and safe to drive.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 23/06/2025 15:31

CanIinterestyouinasarcasticcomment · 23/06/2025 15:16

The people at petrol stations that get back in their car, adjust the mirror, fasten their seat belt, start looking for their keys, or have a quick drink, start the car, then slowly pull away, completely ignoring the huge line of people waiting.

Just get in the car and piss off!! Surely your mirror is adjusted and your keys should be in your hand!!

Don't begrudge drivers a quick drink or a quick minute to adjust something that's been irritating them the whole drive.

It's much better than them doing that instead of paying attention to where they're going / their actual driving.

MiddleAgedDread · 23/06/2025 15:34

I'm guessing it's the same people who walk through a door way / out of a lift / off an escalator and then stop dead! Absolutely no spatial awareness of the world around their self-absorbed little world.

DinoLil · 23/06/2025 15:34

My local dump is still appointment only from covid.