Bridesmaid got engaged on my wedding day...

[Doghouse1g1]

Girls I really need some advice..
I had to cancel my wedding 4 months ago due to my partner cheating with numerous women.
My wedding should have been Saturday just gone in Italy. Some of the wedding party decided to go ahead with the weekend anyway as it was all booked and paid for (flights, air bnbs etc) which I was fine with as they has paid a big expense to attend.
My best friend (and bridesmaid) was one of these guests and she contacted me via Facetime yesterday to tell me her boyfriend proposed on Saturday (which should have been my wedding day) on the beach in Italy 🙈
I was absolutely gobsmacked and replied saying I was pleased for her but I needed time to process the news and ended the call.
I am happy for her but I do feel it's totally insensitive and I'm in total shock. How do I move past this?

I'm calling a wind up on this one!

This is ridiculous OP. Nothing to do with you and your wedding plans. Get over yourself.

You're right, it was an off the cuff comment and I didn't really think about the connotations, but it was cruel. Sorry, OP!

Agree, it was unnecessary. I didn't think about how cruel it was when I typed it!

So another consequence of your unfaithful ex dp.
So the wedding party had paid big money to go somewhere on your behalf... and it was all for nothing as he couldn't keep his trousers zipped up.
At least someone got some good out of it... a romantic proposal. Get over yourself op. Be happy for her and be grateful you avoided being hitched to a wanker.

Yanbu for being upset at the timing of the phone call they should have waited and been sensitive on your wedding day

Only two people messaged me to check in on my 'should have been' wedding day

Ps people who are being nasty have probably never had the heartbreak of jilting

But it's not the same. You were happy. It was your wedding night do. Presumably, it wasn't the wedding night do of a wedding that was called off, but that went happily and successfully ahead? Why would you not be happy for your friend?

Sorry you had to go through this op... horrendous for you x

You are obviously going to be upset in what should have been your wedding day but if your friend has been a good friend for a long time - just be happy for her. The date of engagement really isn’t a big deal. I’ve been married a long time and couldn’t tell you the date of our engagement.

It’s a bit of a red flag that you say you were “fine with” other people going on the trip that they’d paid for, like you’re being oh so gracious about it!

Oh no, Trendyname. Apparently, OP's feelings are NOT as valid as her friend's. She needs to suck it up and smile like a gummy bear and not be a bad, selfish friend with totally acceptable normal human feelings.

People are being bloody harsh. This was insensitive of them at the very least. It's not 'weird' to find it hurtful. I bet if those posters were on OP's shoes they might suddenly comprehend that

I can understand that it hurts but that was her boyfriend's decision to propose, nothing to do with her.

One of your closest friends (I assume as she was going to be a bridesmaid) has got engaged while on holiday.

It wasn't your wedding day. It's just a date and they are just on holiday.

Obviously a difficult day for you as it reminds you about your ex did to you, but the rest of the world keeps turning and you have really pissed all over your good friends news, made it all about you and unreasonably made her feel shite. Something she will find difficult to forget. You owe her a genuine apology, make sure it is not a "I'm sorry, but......." type one.

If a friend of mine cancelled a wedding 4 months ago, I'd probably have forgotten what date is was supposed to be - it's just not the sort of thing I remember. And if my boyfriend had proposed to me on that date, was I supposed to say, 'Today's not a good day to ask - ask me next week instead'?

I disagree with almost everyone. Your mate is spectacularly insensitive. It would absolutely have been a hard time for you. My heart goes out to you x

You would have forgotten what date it was supposed to be even though you are in Italy on a much anticipated, long-planned weekend booked for the express purpose of your best friend's wedding day? The friend who is not there but back home because that wedding was cancelled?

You're no friend.

I’m sure they were there for more than one day, so he could’ve picked a different day to propose! If I was the friend, I think I’d be pointing out to him that I wish he had done it on a different date, not what should’ve been my best mates wedding day.

Surely you’d remember that the reason you’re in Italy in the first place is because you were meant to be at a wedding there 😂

To be honest I would be pissed off if I were the friend. He could have chosen any other day of the year but picked one that was meant to be her best friends wedding day. I would have felt incredibly awkward about that and it would have played on my mind, taking the shine off the proposal.

It wasn’t your wedding day.

100 % agree.
Given the preparation and emotions around weddings, and the devastating reason for this no longer being your wedding day, I really feel for you OP.
There have been some ridiculously heartless responses on this thread.
"Get over yourself" indeed! 😡

I really wouldn't care, they were in their perfect setting.

I haven’t read all the replies as the first few were just bonkers enough.

No, you are not being unreasonable.

I don’t get what some people mean by it wasn’t your wedding day. Well, exactly, that’s the point. I actually think it would have been less bad if this had been done at your wedding. That would gave just been unthinking. This was hurtful.

It’s not your wedding day but surely a decent friend would recognise that the day would be hard for you. The news could have waited and been delivered more sensitively.