GP displaying family photos, children's pictures dedicated to 'daddy' or 'mummy'

[Ilovepastafortea]

I'm lucky in that I've only had 2 miscarriages.

A friend of mine's DIL has now just had her 5th. Friend went to GP with her & was upset to see GP had pictures of their children & pictures obviously done by their children with annotations saying things like 'I love you daddy'.

This is all rather cute & lovely, but my friend thought rather insensitive when her DIL had recently lost a much wanted 5th PG. She also had concerns about women who are seeking fertility treatment - do they really need to be reminded how fertile their GP is?

We had a long discussion: we considered that on the plus side it shows that the GP is a family person with children & the inference is that they understand the problems of having a family. We considered that people who work in banks, in Boots, therapists, the supermarket, the Jobcentre could argue the same point. They don't display their children's photos.

I agree with her, family photos & personal pictures have no place in a GP's consulting room.

So AINBU thinking the family photos have no place in GP consulting rooms?

I'm hoping it's a typo.

I'll hoping it's a typo
And the poster means life?

YABU.
We can't expect everyone to hide what's important to them in fear of upsetting someone who has fertility issues. Should we all stop publicly celebrating mothers and fathers day too? No pictures around with our children or parents, nothing on social media or in any office? Miscarriage is unfortunately very common, there will be a woman who has experienced it in most work places. Should all parents refrain from mentioning their children or having pictures of them?
Should we have an adults only GP practice so that a woman there due to fertility issues doesn't have to see children?

Presumably during your pregnancies you saw patients regarding fertility issues. Did you find that awkward or feel like the patients did? Genuinely interested.

Unfortunately the world doesn’t stop, nor should it, because bad things happen to other people.

If we stopped doing everything that might offend or ‘trigger’ another human, we’d never do anything.

The person is being oversensitive.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable- I suffered years of infertility and miscarriages but luckily have one ds. My menopause Then came early and as we had moved booked myself in to discuss and asked for a female GP. The early stopping of periods meant I knew there would not be second much wanted natural child. The Gp I saw was pregnant and had photos of her and existing dc behind her. I couldn’t speak mumbled something about headaches and periods then left never to discuss it with a dr again. That was over 9 years ago . Maybe I could have had a heads up from the receptionist or something but I still just remember sitting there my heart breaking at what a failure I was.

What if a patient has lost her husband and the gp has a photo up with her husband? Or someone who has never found a partner and gp is wearing a wedding band?

Ridiculous.

Don't forget: you're here forever.

Do it for her.

I think that photos showing the GP has children may provide reassurance to children who are nervous about visiting a strange man who is asking to look in their mouth etc

I was just going to say this.

My son is in a wheelchair and I can't get upset every time I see someone else's child walk or run or play football.

No I’m sorry- whilst her situation is sad this is completely bonkers.
Should the GP not walk around too much in case their disabled patients in get offended at seeing how well a GP can walk and move around?
Your friends DIL is being incredibly over sensitive- and whilst I can see how that would happen, there nothing at all wrong with having photos of your children on the desk. It’s a problem entirely of the friend, and something she will need help coming to terms with it sounds like. There are children everywhere, most people are fertile and it’s a natural part of life for most people to have kids, whilst it’s very sad if you struggle, it’s not on everyone else to hide their kids from you.

You think it’s rational and reasonable to expect a receptionist to “warn” every patient that the GP they are going to see is pregnant?

The dil is unreasonable, but understandably so.

Having been through infertility issues and ivf i think you're being completely unreasonable. If we live by these rules of shielding everyone from what could be upsetting where do we draw the line.

I'm so confused by this post. 😕

… and then not even ask to book in with another GP, but accept no more children as a result of this? Bizarre.

I am sorry about what you and your friend have been through, I have had two miscrriages but never ever thought that other people should hide the fact that they have children to protect my feelings. You will pass pregnant women on the street, see them on public transport, maybe in your workplace and there may also be family photos displayed in your workplace. When you go shopping there will be children around, I live on a street with an infant school on it. Life goes on all around and while it can be hard it is the same as with any bereavement; it hurts but we cannnot all be in mourning

But she will feel that way everywhere she goes - in shops, at work, watching TV. Children are everywhere, and yes it’s bloody painful when you don’t have any, but you can’t expect the rest of the world to keep theirs hidden away.

The same as when you lose a parent it’s painful hearing people talking about theirs, but you can’t ban all people from mentioning their parents just because you’ve lost yours.

Im sorry for her loss but i don’t think it’s reasonable to be angry with the GP,

Whilst I’m sorry for how you felt it was no one’s fault.
Why would a receptionist tell patients that a gp is pregnant?

It’s life. I say that after 4MC, and early menopause.

Is anyone envious of other people's children?
I've seen that trope on here a lot and I don't get it. When I was struggling to conceive my sister in law became pregnant. I honestly think if I'd have been upset by someone else's fertility I would need to work on myself a lot.
I love and adore my niblings. But at that point I wanted my own amazing kid, not someone else's. It wasn't like we were going for the same job with only one post available. Someone else's pregnancy doesn't impact yours in the least (unless they have the same dad, obviously that would be a problem).

How does she manage on a day to day basis, shopping, public transport? Work? You know where children are. How does she know the Gp didn’t go through years of IVF?

Eh?

Maybe the GP (or GP's wife, I'm not clear if the GP is the "daddy" mentioned) had several miscarriages too. You don't know.