GP displaying family photos, children's pictures dedicated to 'daddy' or 'mummy'

[Ilovepastafortea]

I'm lucky in that I've only had 2 miscarriages.

A friend of mine's DIL has now just had her 5th. Friend went to GP with her & was upset to see GP had pictures of their children & pictures obviously done by their children with annotations saying things like 'I love you daddy'.

This is all rather cute & lovely, but my friend thought rather insensitive when her DIL had recently lost a much wanted 5th PG. She also had concerns about women who are seeking fertility treatment - do they really need to be reminded how fertile their GP is?

We had a long discussion: we considered that on the plus side it shows that the GP is a family person with children & the inference is that they understand the problems of having a family. We considered that people who work in banks, in Boots, therapists, the supermarket, the Jobcentre could argue the same point. They don't display their children's photos.

I agree with her, family photos & personal pictures have no place in a GP's consulting room.

So AINBU thinking the family photos have no place in GP consulting rooms?

Me too 👏

Posts like this are why I hate and love Mumsnet in equal measure. Batshit or troll? It’s so hard to tell.

Life can suck OP. That’s just how it is.

Gently, I think it’s unreasonable to expect them not to have photos or pictures. As someone whose been through infertility I do get it, but as someone now lucky enough to have ivf that worked I’m pleased to know GPs have their own kids when I go to ask them about an illness or issue with my child.

No one is really wrong here.

The GP isn't wrong to have pics of their children in their office.

Your friend's DIL isn't wrong to be upset - but those feelings are hers to deal with, not the GP's.

I hope her treatment will end up working.

What the fuck? Why?

People can't be offended by everything
My son is disabled and I can only dream of him writing me a card
But i don't go round looking to be offended becsuse other people's children are not disabled

But you said:

*I agree with her, family photos & personal pictures have no place in a GP's consulting room.

So AINBU thinking the family photos have no place in GP consulting rooms*

So you agree with your friend and you think GPs shouldn't be allowed family photos in their rooms.

That's really horrible, why shouldn't they be able to seek a bit of comfort during what are long, tough and draining days?

So you're going to tell your friend you've posted her personal story on line for randoms to pick over
im sure she'll be thrilled

I’m a GP. I actually don’t have any photos or personal objects up as I am quite private, however I have worked through 2 pregnancies. What if she had turned up and her appointment was with a pregnant GP?

Absolutely ridiculous. I’m sure plenty of people have pictures and drawings of their kids on their desks. Over sensitivity at its highest

Have you suffered infertility yourself? If not I’m not sure it’s for you to say that other things are worse. Personally my DH being diagnosed with a terminal illness would h
have been worse for me than my never having children, but I would not presume to tell someone suffering infertility that things could be worse.

This is the thing isn’t it. Nobody wants to be responsible for their own feelings any more. It has to be everybody else’s problem.

Having been through IVF so I understand how difficult infertility is, I still think YABU. Being a GP is tough so if they have a reminder of family life which helps them get through the day then I’m good with that.

Frustrating OP as thought you meant grandparents and had to read it twice to get the point. These photos aren't there to show how fertile the doctor is. FFS. Maybe she or he wants them as they spend hours away from their kids and would like to look at photos in the seconds they have between appointments.

You're very lucky to only have had two losses is a very twee comment and bloody ridiculous.

I said to her that I could see both sides & suggested I put it to MN to canvass opinions.

As she's not on MN she agreed.

I've not betrayed any personal information, no problem.

How odd

The need for everyone to be shielded from every single upsetting thing is really contributing to the massive anxiety spike we are seeing in our young people.

My mum died when I was a teen. Did I even consider people couldn’t talk about their mothers? Just one of many examples of upsetting things I’ve had to deal with.

People need to learn to deal with ordinary things.

I've had three miscarriages - no children. I'm often sad when I see people with their children or grandchildren. I can't ask the world to hide everything child-related to suit me.

It's the same when I see couples hand in hand. I have a twinge of jealousy and/or sadness because I'm now a widow. That's life.

Surely she feels that way about every person she comes across with children then. She also has no idea how many miscarriages the GP may have suffered, whether they were IVF babies, adopted… etc. Unless it literally said mummy/daddy it could even be nieces/nephews.
It’s like suggesting no one could have a photo of their mother because it might upset people who are bereaved.

Oh fuck her, sideways.

Sorry to hear your story. I hope that your lie gets better. 😘

Maybe your friend needs to find another doctor. That's the only option if she finds it so offensive
How ridiculous!

Wtf?

She meant life presumably

Tough for someone that has experienced a disability. Having photos and children’s drawings might make it slightly less clinical for a younger child attending the GP.

Agree it is terrible that in hospitals that offer ivf and deal with miscarriage there are not separate areas at least for waiting and ideally on wards.