Sorry - another bridezilla ish one

[bagpuss90]

My niece is marrying in October. Her day - her rules . But aibu to be a bit shocked at the dress code ? We are all to wear black and only black. No hats. No fascinators. No flowers in our hair. No coloured shoes or handbags. And wait for it - no nail polish. She wants a monochrome wedding.

I mean yeah I would definitely be throwing you out! You could just not go!

It’s definitely the trend at the moment

You can get stunning black nails - have a Google.

Well - thank you everyone. Some of these comments have made my day .

@bagpuss90 In all sincerity I do hope all ends well with the wedding for everyone involved 😁worst case scenario you have a good conversation starter if you end up seated at a table with people you don't know! Also feel free to let us know how it turned out & how compliant all the guests were...

Much much easier dress code than most. I mean it’s mental, but all brides are mental, she’s at least conveniently mental

As ever, brides can ask what they like of their prospective guests, but they mustn’t be surprised if people rsvp ‘no’ due to weird requests. Likewise if you accept the invitation then you’re agreeing to partake in the weirdness and it’s rude to not abide by the request.

Black makes me look like I died last week so I have no black clothes. I would only wear it if invited to the Monarch's funeral (which I wouldn't be). I'd certainly not wear black, forcibly, to a wedding so would sadly be declining the invitation (and letting them know why).

I don't own any black clothes. I don't wear black to funerals either!

I have black clothes but none of them are smart enough for a wedding. I would comply with the bridezilla's request, but would have to wear a lot of make up to not look like death warmed up.

Really interesting to me that you would put more respect on a request by a monarch you don't know than a loved one inviting you to their wedding.

I'm not saying I think a dress code is a good idea, but if it was someone I loved I would definitely suck it up for a day.

A funeral traditionally expects black. Not many funerals these days are that traditional but one would assume the monarch's would be so black would be best to wear.

Weddings do not traditionally come with an insistence on any specific colour or intention to make all the guests look the same. So it's an entirely different scenario.

They obviously risk the black magic man making an appearance at some stage!

It's very interesting that she wants all the guests to look the same, as far as possible, and that her choice for them is black, not a traditional wedding colour. I'm just wondering what her rationale is.

So? There's a million things that happen at weddings that aren't traditional. Doesn't mean I wouldn't go to one if invited and it was someone I loved.

Fair enough. I was just answering the question of why a funeral and a wedding are different in that regard. Both have an automatic dress code of being reasonably smart. A funeral also has a colour expectation already so wearing black isn't an additional demand from the organiser.

For a wedding telling everyone to wear black (or any specific colour) is an extra demand. And, as far as I'm concerned, a bloody rude one.

I agree with you re: funerals and black, but when I suggested that earlier in the thread there were loads of responses from people saying hardly anyone wears black to a funeral anymore/they haven't worn black to a funeral for years.

If we're assuming the Monarch's has different expectations and rules that generally people would always adhere to, why would you observe them for that but not for a loved one? Still makes no sense to me.

It wasn't actually me who mentioned the monarch originally. But I think it's reasonable to assume the monarch's funeral might be the most formal and traditional one anyone ever attends so the expectation to wear black would be highest.

Doesn't change that the general rules and expectations of weddings and funerals are different. Black at a funeral is a general expectation but often not observed these days and has become optional. Telling people to wear a specific colour for a wedding is not even slightly within general expectations.

How do you know what’s in your brothers wardrobe? Weird

It’s a bit odd but I’d go with it. If I wanted to go to the person’s wedding I would, anyway. I wouldn’t consider it worth worrying about.

😂😂

I assume she means she’s never seen her brothers in black suits, rather than she’s nipped upstairs to root through their wardrobes when she pops round.

Then you wouldn’t have to go. You know the Mumsnet mantra, ‘it’s an invitation not a summons’.

I'd be painting my nails black just to prove a point. With this nail polish. 😁 (Other black holographic nail polishes are available, ILNP, KBShimmer and Starrily all do one, among other brands.)
https://www.holotaco.com/products/electrostatic?srsltid=AfmBOopgkrkxPUlR4dLwrgkQzkSv7Gc5IV-zZJkU8tMXTJVXAeFNYfRc

I would be appalled and probably decline to attend. It’s incredibly controlling and an indication of superficial and sick priorities & values to try and dictate what people can wear to your wedding to such an extreme degree. The important thing SHOULD be for people to feel comfortable and happy and be able to attend without needing to go out of their way to make special purchases or arrangements or disrupt their lives in a difficult way. At least thats what we took into consideration