Sorry - another bridezilla ish one

[bagpuss90]

My niece is marrying in October. Her day - her rules . But aibu to be a bit shocked at the dress code ? We are all to wear black and only black. No hats. No fascinators. No flowers in our hair. No coloured shoes or handbags. And wait for it - no nail polish. She wants a monochrome wedding.

I would just stall for a bit, ask around, see what everyone else thinks

We’re not poor, my husband doesn’t have a black suit.

I didn’t realise the poverty line was not owning a black suit.

🤣🤣🤣

Based on??

No nail polish is a bit much…
Shoes & handbags as well.

Obviously an Insta wedding.
Don’t post any pics, anyway!

Whatever happened to just being happy to have friends and family there to celebrate with you? It will make no difference to the happiness of a marriage if people wear different colours. I understand nowadays image is important but honestly brides seem to have lost all sense of priorities
God that sounds pompous but I just think it's bonkers. Having said that I've heard of much worse bridezillas and I'd suck it up and go.

I think the bride is a mumsnetter 🤦‍♀️

Very weird. I have only ever had one wedding invite where the colour scheme of the wedding was mentioned and guests were invited to join in with that, but it also explicitly stated that it was not expected and everyone should wear whatever they wanted. I really don’t understand all this fuss about how a wedding looks. The point of a wedding is to marry the right person and celebrate with friends and family. I really couldn’t be arsed with controlling it to this level. I would go along with it though if it was someone I cared enough about to actually want to attend their wedding. It’s not what I’d want to do for my wedding, but it seems fairly harmless. If you haven’t got anything suitable, get on Vinted.

I'm back.
Could she not simply get the photographer to take black and white photos?
I've been dreaming of The Black and White Minstrel Show.
All joking aside it is her day and her theme, but it is a bit yuk IMHO.

Or decline….. the better option IMO!

I don't understand the Instagram reason for this. I would be quite happy not to be in anyone's wedding photos.

Also, prioritising the wedding for the photos instead of the guests comfort is very self absorbed and narcissistic.

Halloween?

'Apart from poor ones'? Wtf?

It's a lot more reasonable than the ridiculous posters who (pretend) they would make a scene and wear something stupid to show how important they think they are

but WHY must you wear a fascinator? Does anyone even wear them these days?

I'm all for the B & G deciding on their own rules for weddings in terms of guests, no kids/kids etc but this is absolutely batshit!

No nail polish. How will that even be seen anyway?

And what an absolute stress for her to organise, as if there isn't enough to do. Could she not just have got the photographer to do some shots in black and white/monochrome for the album (or Instagram!)

Sometimes I think some people have forgotten what a wedding is all about and the actual purpose of getting married.

I did wonder. It is an October wedding.
@bagpuss90 is it in Whitby?

Sounds very solemn for a wedding. If that's what they want, then I'd gladly wear black, just because most of my clothes are anyway.

Yeah. If I opened my wardrobe with my eyes shut and picked out the first thing that came to hand, it would be black. I’d still use it as an excuse to buy something new though😅

I mean, what is she going to do if you turn up with nail varnish in a bright colour? Get the nail varnish remover out? Issue you with gloves? I think a lot of guests will comply with the black theme but have a little subversive hint of colour somewhere in their attire.

I don't

My funeral outfits are black and white/cream and even now every last funeral I've been to lately has asked for colour

Maybe she's deeply unhappy at getting married

some 30 years ago in the US (east coast anyway) it used to be a thing, including the bride.

How was this 🦇💩list of ridiculous rules delivered to guests? I’d love to see the wording 🥴

Or why anyone attends such a control freak's wedding. Let her have her sad little bit of social media fame, 15 seconds at most. Save all the money you would have spent on clothes, travel, presents etc and have a lovely weekend away wearing exactly what you want.

I don’t mind a dress code within reason, and I love black and have worn it to weddings (albeit the sort of dresses you’d never wear to a funeral, paired with neutral accessories so I don’t look like I’m in mourning) but sadly the post further up with the press photos of the black wedding does indeed look like a funeral. It’s the men. Also, strangely, nowhere near as cool or smart as I’d have thought. The nail polish thing is crossing a line into controlling IME.

But she will stand out, job done! Is the groom being bullied into her black fantasy too?