Was I unreasonable to say no?

[Thefourth]

Christmas allocation was sent out last week. We have to have it so early because we need to plan the out reach around it. For first time in 5 years I have Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day & NYD off. Im Working nye. We’re going to go away. We dont have children but that’s because I’m infertile it’s not because we don’t want them.

Usually I pick up extra but this year I thought fuck it, no I want to have it all off. So I requested it off and in the comments I pointed out I have covered their Christmas shifts & done my own for 5 years.

I have been massively guilty of tripped by 3 colleagues who have said I must pick up their Christmas shifts because they have children and I don’t. One of them said that I was deceitful by not telling them I wanted it all off because as she assumed I would cover it all she hadn’t asked for any of it off.

Another one has gone to our manager and demanded that he make me work it and give them my days off. He asked me to consider taking some of their shifts and I said if he asks me again I will quit.

For the last 5 years I have had off the 29th-30th December and then take my ‘Christmas leave’ in January.

Their children are 11,5,9,15,18 & 21 respectively if it changes anyone’s opinion.

the atmosphere is awful

25 years ago, as someone who didn’t have children, I worked every Christmas and NY shift and was expected to by management. It’s sad to see times haven’t changed. Your work colleagues are being selfish.

Quite frankly you dont have to give a fuck about their kids or their Christmas.

What entitled colleagues. You and your DP are a family, you dont need kids to want to be together or around parents, siblings, children in your extended family, friends. Your plans are irrelevant you're allowed to enjoy Christmas

Id just say to them, sorry I'm not available this year. You dont need to explain further

Their Christmas is not your priority

Not before you sue them for allowing staff to bully you!

Perhaps tell them they have ruined your Christmas for last 4 years! So that is quite a few years for you to have off.

I would laugh and remind them "been there, done that" - and forget about it!
They can talk to matron/management if they are unhappy. Have fun.

And yes, bullying in NHS is very much a thing.

from a capitalist point of view you could charge each of them x amout paid upfront to cover their shifts @Thefourth

You absolutely deserve all of it off, you have done your fair share there completely! They’ve taken advantage of your nature for 5 christmasses and assumed that would continue.

That being said, I’m in the NHS. There is nothing worse than leaving your child at Christmas or their Christmas looking lonely without you. We don’t have much family, so it’s just the 4 of us DP, and 2 DC. If I’m not there, their Christmas is just the 3 of them and they feel it.

I worked christmas without guilt when they were babies, we just did Christmas another day. I feel sick about this year already as they are already begging me not to work (like I have a choice). Last year it was the only thing on my 7 y/o Christmas list for a while and that was just heartbreaking.

Same if you have elderly family that rely on you, its hard all round.

I’d be very clear with my manager and HR that you expect them to step in here and protect you from bullying and harassment. That is equally unacceptable.

Your manager and HR should be having private meetings with each of your colleagues telling them to pull their heads in or face a disciplinary.

You have done nothing wrong. Everyone deserves a turn at having Christmas off.

OP, people are very selfish. For years I never took annual leave during school holidays - it wasn't a big deal to me and I covered what needed doing, for people who weren't even doing the same job as me. Then my sister (on the other side of the world) decided to get married a few days before Christmas. So I booked holiday from about about 16th December to shortly after New Year.

Oh my goodness, the spiteful rage when I returned! My boss laughed and said "Just don't ever cover for them again." And I never did.

Don’t start it until 2026 though!

your manager shojuldnt have even asked you to consider swapping he shoujld have told them its tough

Your colleagues are Aholes. I worked Christmas last year, I have a 3 and 5 year old. My colleague who runs the service with me, who does not have kids, had it off to spend with her family. Most of us will have family and friends one way or another. And even if you don’t have any family or any friends, you still deserve time off to spend however you bloomin well like. Your colleagues can go and do one. The audacity!

And I’m pretty much already counting down the days until 1st December.

Unbelievable. OP you're not unreasonable in the slightest, I'm embarrassed on their behalf, they give parents a bad name.

I have three children 1-6yo and have never, ever expected to get all christmases off. We usually alternate depending on other colleagues plans and needs. I've only ever encountered respectful people. Can't imagine working with people like this.

Please don't cave ! You're entitled to your Christmas off every other year like anyone else, doesn't even matter whether or not you have plans.

Op as someone who has children and would have appreciated someone taking my Christmas shift once in a while (you did it lots) thank you for being so thoughtful and if i were your colleagues id be so thankful to you and in fact they should be saying of course you get all these days off.. and shut their mouths and be thankful to you all these years (not that u needed to cover all the shifts) . Hats off to you and enjoy your time off wh3n the time comes.

5 years you have covered. 5 years!!!

Don’t back down OP. Plus, just because you don’t have children, it doesn’t mean you don’t have family! How do these emotional blackmailers know that you aren’t spending Christmas with aging relatives or parents? NOT that it should matter of course!!

I don't have to work the days you do but we do have to work up to and straight after xmas day/boxing day nye/nyd and in the past xmas monday if applicable.
I have 3 kids and i have never expected my holiday requests to be prioritised over those without kids.
I think your colleagues are thoughtless selfish bullies and if it were me i'd start looking around.

They are just pissed off that they haven’t got all the time off they wanted. Ignore them.

How bloody DARE they! It matters not a jot that you do not have children OP. Everyone is entitled to fair leave over popular holiday times. In your shoes I might have exploded at them all when they were complaining!

Stand your ground and if they keep complaining then launch an official complaint their way.

FWIW I grew up in a household where my mother (nhs) worked alternatively Xmas Eve & Xmas day or NYE & NYD every year when we were very young. It did not ruin the holidays for us! My parents made sure to work around it.

I cannot believe people can be so entitled.

It sounds like you are well due Christmas off. Stick to your plans to have it all off.

@Thefourth - stick to your guns girl. You've earned this time off.
Enjoy it.

Whether you have kids or not is irrelevant imo. Companies aren't allowed to ask about home commitments at interview, so why is it allowed in a job!

People in some industries have to work over Christmas. Their kids will be used to knowing parents go to work, and can get a good example of how sometimes it affects christmas.

Perhaps more difficult fir them if they have lots of church commitments, with it being the special day for baby Jesus. Even so, I'm sure He will understand.

And christmas is months away!!!

The manager sounds useless and needs to grow a backbone

Absolutely you must stick to your guns. Your colleagues are bullies to behave like this, and your manager is just as bad for not standing up to them.

As for the person who assumed you would cover her shifts - I have no words! However, I can’t see how you could have done if you hadn’t applied for the days off (you’d already be working them as your own shifts) so I think she’s the deceitful one.

Slight sidetrack - I used to know someone who was Greek and worked in the NHS. He didn’t mind working “our” Christmas and surrounding days as then he could have “his” Christmas off and go home for it.

But Brexit got rid of alot of Greek people in the NHS I think! Another Brexit downside.