Was I unreasonable to say no?

[Thefourth]

Christmas allocation was sent out last week. We have to have it so early because we need to plan the out reach around it. For first time in 5 years I have Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day & NYD off. Im Working nye. We’re going to go away. We dont have children but that’s because I’m infertile it’s not because we don’t want them.

Usually I pick up extra but this year I thought fuck it, no I want to have it all off. So I requested it off and in the comments I pointed out I have covered their Christmas shifts & done my own for 5 years.

I have been massively guilty of tripped by 3 colleagues who have said I must pick up their Christmas shifts because they have children and I don’t. One of them said that I was deceitful by not telling them I wanted it all off because as she assumed I would cover it all she hadn’t asked for any of it off.

Another one has gone to our manager and demanded that he make me work it and give them my days off. He asked me to consider taking some of their shifts and I said if he asks me again I will quit.

For the last 5 years I have had off the 29th-30th December and then take my ‘Christmas leave’ in January.

Their children are 11,5,9,15,18 & 21 respectively if it changes anyone’s opinion.

the atmosphere is awful

I disagree.

Not with the point that everyone is entitled to the same time off, I agree with that.

But the point of OP explaining they're infertile is that the very reason colleagues say she shouldn't have Christmas off, is a source of pain for her. It just makes a dick move that little bit worse.

Absolutely not.
Stop obliging anyone.
Report your boss to HR.
Definitely look for a new job, but suit yourself.

I have children but I honestly think some people with children think the whole bloody world revolves around them.

If you work shift work you have to suck it up over Christmas.

Yours is not the first time I have heard how thankless it is being obliging over shifts over Christmas.

You need to speak to HR and complain.

Do not accept this bullying.

Nah people play the child card to easily and too often. It’s not fair on others. I say this as a new mother too.

Bloody hell, the reek of entitlement is seeping through my screen! How dare they?

I wish I could say that's it's rare but we are childless and have been subjected to the pressure of colleagues with children who have imagined that we could simply change our arrangements to suit their whims. After all, we couldn't possibly have anything important to do, could we!

Usually, I would say that we had made arrangements that couldn't be altered, so sorry but there you go - although, I have to admit that on the final occasion, I responded with, 'Please stop asking me. You're embarrassing yourself.'

Sounds like you've done more than your fair share OP. You're well overdue this time off.

Having said that I do have some sympathy for lone parents/carers trying to juggle Christmas. Not everyone has family support nor access to childcare on holiday periods.

laugh any time they bring it up. And then change the conversation- they are pathetic and bordering on bullying

honestly. This is ridiculous- if someone has very young children or babies it’s not about the kids it’s about them so - too bad. Deal.

if someone has older kids - explain that mum works shifts and you’ll celebrate next day or whatever.

if kids are in between and want mum but don’t fully realise - make it a different day and do Christmas Day before or after.

bloody ridiculous to bully a colleague- I’m raging on your behalf

I’d be tempted to say with a tinkly laugh that I hate Xmas and plan to laze around and do nothing and enjoy the telly - let them rage. Prats

OP, how easy would it be for you to find a new job?
If easy then agree to cover ALL the days requested, find a new job and resign, with your last day being December 20th.

Nasty, yes. Satisfying, hell yes.

Merry Christmas.

What a depressing view @PopeJoan2 , I genuinely have never encountered school gate cliques, a narcissistic mother (or anyone remotely close to me at all!) CF neighbours or awful colleagues.

Sorry to disappoint but there’s quite a few of us in life who read mumsnet threads about the above and honestly think…. WTAF

Thats so unfair when you have worked other years. Bet your colleagues dont mention that though . You are as entitled to time off as much as they are, children or no children.

How lovely for you, no need for MN for your Perfect Life.

“Perfect life” 😆

as opposed to just not encountering schoolgate cliques, have a narcissist relative or a CF neighbour!

Yes in your Perfect Life you have no stress and happily share this on MN to those who are asking for advice and support.
Why not say, "well, I'm OK Jack"?

I’m guessing that there’s a lot of stuff like this going on in your life for you to be quite so irritated by this 💐

Oh and fact I don’t have horrible colleagues, a narcissist mother or ever been aware of school gate cliques… doesn’t mean they have a “perfect life”. Bizarre you’d think otherwise

You're a they?

I’m a woman
My point stands with the word “they” as it doesn’t just apply to me!! (A woman 😆)

I bet you were gagging for me to say “yes I am a “they” 😆 So you could launch in to your views. But nope…. Well and truly a woman!”

Agreed. You have family, friends and responsibilities the same as anyone else. Don’t justify and don’t give in. If they persist then refresh yourself around the anti bullying policy.

If having Christmas off is so important to them then find a job that accommodates that , a lot of places close down over Christmas.

Absolutely not! I’m a nurse, my children are 8 and 12- I do not expect colleagues without children to cover my Xmas shifts! We work every other, no exceptions.

Your ‘manager’ needs to manage these entitled people! Dick heads!

You don’t owe these people anything, but it is pretty selfish to book off all of Christmas when you know that’s going to be awful for your colleagues. You should all be doing your share of the worst shifts.

You obviously didn’t read the opening post

yanbu. Never ever do these horrible people a favour again. Take the time off. You are owed it. Complain to HR if you are getting grief. They are out of line. Stick to your plans.