Was I unreasonable to say no?

[Thefourth]

Christmas allocation was sent out last week. We have to have it so early because we need to plan the out reach around it. For first time in 5 years I have Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day & NYD off. Im Working nye. We’re going to go away. We dont have children but that’s because I’m infertile it’s not because we don’t want them.

Usually I pick up extra but this year I thought fuck it, no I want to have it all off. So I requested it off and in the comments I pointed out I have covered their Christmas shifts & done my own for 5 years.

I have been massively guilty of tripped by 3 colleagues who have said I must pick up their Christmas shifts because they have children and I don’t. One of them said that I was deceitful by not telling them I wanted it all off because as she assumed I would cover it all she hadn’t asked for any of it off.

Another one has gone to our manager and demanded that he make me work it and give them my days off. He asked me to consider taking some of their shifts and I said if he asks me again I will quit.

For the last 5 years I have had off the 29th-30th December and then take my ‘Christmas leave’ in January.

Their children are 11,5,9,15,18 & 21 respectively if it changes anyone’s opinion.

the atmosphere is awful

I work Christmas every other year whilst my teens to to their dads. If/ when they choose not to spend Christmas with me in the future I would always work shifts to cover Christmas those days for other people. It’s really rubbish missing out on the limited Christmases with young children eg primary age. I missed more than 50% so will always cover when I can for people with primary aged children at home.
But that is my choice. You aren’t obligated to cover for other people. I have never got special consideration at christmas just because I had children and only had them every other Christmas.
We always had a pretend Christmas a few days early on the years I didn’t get to spend Christmas with my kids. No Santa but everything else. So if they are missing actual Christmas they can do that. My extended family got involved as well so my whole family would celebrate Christmas on a random day in December. Then i worked over Christmas, the kids went to their dads and that was that.

So once the kids don’t believe in Santa they can celebrate on any day in December. It is a made up day.

Get a new job op. Not every workplace is like this over Xmas shifts, most people accept they need to take it in turns. Anyway as you will be leaving (hopefully!), they may have to work it anyway!

Dear god

my point is that irrespective of ANY reason… the Op is entitled to have off Christmas and new year. Even if she wants to sit on her bum and eat pot noodles and avoid anything and everything Christmas related

As someone who does not have children I am very familiar with this scenario. Stand your ground. You are entitled to this and do not quit your job if your manger asks again. Just stand firm. We are all behind you.

Her job did not entail covering every year she just fell into doing so. She did not have to tell anyone.

You gave that so much time and effort. I admit to not reading beyond paragraph 1 but still ❤️ the effort! ❤️

Why?

not like it’s short notice
they know now and have more than ample time to make plans accordingly

YANBU!!!

You can see both sides??? So are you suggesting the OP’s colleagues are being reasonable?

Absolutely do not be guilted! We used to have a colleague that had to travel from the NW to Bournemouth to get back to her family for Xmas, and my colleagues with kids would often begrudge her having Xmas Eve off (to travel) back home. She had no family or friends up here, it used to drive me insane when they’d pipe up saying it wasn’t fair the had to work Xmas Eve and had kids.

Don't you dare give in to these selfish gits. If you do I will come round to your house and clobber you with a smoked kipper! (or some sort of tofu if you're veggie)

This is your time off, your turn. You have done more than enough in the past.

I have worked many Christmas/New year/Bank holidays whilst having children - it's simply part of the job. It sucks but that's life.

I really hate people that pressure others like this.

Wrong thread!

@Thefourth YANBU to say No, OP, and good for you for sticking to it and making it clear to your manager the consequences for the business if he continues to pressurise you into changing your mind which, let's face it, is just to make his life easier. I'm not surprised you're looking for another job - who would want to work with entitled CFs like your colleagues who have six months to put childcare arrangements in place which are their responsibility, not yours!
I hope you have a fab Christmas break OP! 😃

I've often called colleagues out on this - just because you (as did I) chose to have children doesn't mean that you get priority. Childcare is your responsibility.

Slightly curious why you stipulate that you don't have children but not because you didn't want them. Do you think you would be less entitled to the days if you were childless/free by choice?

In any case I would tell them to stop asking repeatedly, that they were becoming boring and I would not resign if the manager mentioned it again - leave when you are good and ready. They all sound like arseholes!

Most of us got the point you were making. I would add that a person who didn’t have children because they didn’t want them is also entitled to those particular leave days.

Tell them to piss off. You've done your fair share.

When will parents realise that having children is a lifestyle choice and they should not be entitled to special treatment?

As I say… for any goddam reason. And with any personal circumstances whatsoever. Wants / doesn’t want / bloody despises children - none of it is relevant

the op would be entitled to Christmas and new year off.

Tell them to get stuffed (I say this as a mum of kids who likes Xmas off). They’re entitled dick heads. Children don’t give them the right to this .

I live a fairly sheltered life but even I have experienced as least one of the incidents on your list. Don’t you get out much?

A pp asked why the OP felt the need to state that she wasn't childless through choice. I obviously can't answer for her, but the question struck a chord with me, since I made the same point about myself.

Even nowadays, people can be quite judgemental when you don't have children. There is sometimes an assumption that you're selfish and then you get people pulling "Who will you expect to wipe your backside for you when you're in the nursing home? Oh, yes...our children!"

No, I've not seen that on this thread but I have seen it elsewhere.

I've also seen people saying "But it's such a precious time when people have young children, and they won't have that again." It's the same for anyone fortunate enough still to have their own parent[s] or spouse though, isn't it? Your time with them is limited and you never know when it'll come to an end.

Don't quit whatever you do. Just take the time off when it comes. Don't give them the satisfaction of you leaving.

As someone with children i think they are being ridiculous.

Dont let them change your mind. You deserve to have time off just as much as they do .

Which have you experienced?

if a sheltered life means none of them…. Hell yes! And I’m bloody happy about that 😆