Was I unreasonable to say no?

[Thefourth]

Christmas allocation was sent out last week. We have to have it so early because we need to plan the out reach around it. For first time in 5 years I have Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day & NYD off. Im Working nye. We’re going to go away. We dont have children but that’s because I’m infertile it’s not because we don’t want them.

Usually I pick up extra but this year I thought fuck it, no I want to have it all off. So I requested it off and in the comments I pointed out I have covered their Christmas shifts & done my own for 5 years.

I have been massively guilty of tripped by 3 colleagues who have said I must pick up their Christmas shifts because they have children and I don’t. One of them said that I was deceitful by not telling them I wanted it all off because as she assumed I would cover it all she hadn’t asked for any of it off.

Another one has gone to our manager and demanded that he make me work it and give them my days off. He asked me to consider taking some of their shifts and I said if he asks me again I will quit.

For the last 5 years I have had off the 29th-30th December and then take my ‘Christmas leave’ in January.

Their children are 11,5,9,15,18 & 21 respectively if it changes anyone’s opinion.

the atmosphere is awful

If you take a job that involves Christmas shifts then you have to suck it up.

And they should be grateful you've stood aside the last 5 years, not bitch about how you're actually going to have some time off this year

Stick to your guns

Yes in the NHS they do.
A lot of the management are useless.
Our Christmas rotation is out.
Already got people with kids who are working moaning about it.

Your manager should absolutely have been monitoring who worked at Christmas. That way when your colleagues complained, the manager would be able to say, 'It's TheFourth's turn this year.'

I personally would question the attitude of anyone working in outreach who had not worked out that it might involve working some unsocial hours.

As someone else without children…. Your life, annual leave, home life etc is not less valuable than those with children.

I do agree though that the reason for you not having children is not relevant. I say that because my reason isn’t the same as yours, and I believe the above applies equally to me.

If I were you, I would say to your colleagues that you will be taking Christmas off this year as it’s your turn. In the meantime, start looking for a new job with a start date of 2nd January!

I have children, a 10 year old and a baby.

You are entitled to a long Christmas break just like those with children. Your life isn't worth less because you don't have kids. Your colleagues behaviour is disgusting.

Enjoy your Christmas break. You've earned it after all.

Ditto

The reason you don’t have children is irrelevant, you are almost making excuses for not having any. You do however have a life. Take your leave. You’re entitled to it. If you can’t do this then find another job.

This!

yanbu in the slightest
you also wouldn't be unreasonable if you just didn't want kids, or even if their kids were much younger.
they sound like idiots, particularly the one who just assumed you would cover it so she didn't need to put a leave request in. What if you were sick/left the organisation?
I'd honestly complain to your manager (or given they asked you to cover to keep the peace, to HR). you're being bullied and expected to be disadvantaged solely because you don't have children.

Nah they’re out of line, you’re not their holiday monkey. No good deed goes unpunished, tell them to pack it in or you’ll never ever help them out again.

Whenever anyone asks what your plans are over Christmas and these colleagues are within ear shot, say something like

“bugger all, i hate Christmas, just going to kick back with a Chinese and chill out”

They will…. Fume 😂

I won't entertain these entitled assholes at all.

They know they work in a sector with Christmas shifts and they have been been given a generous six months to make plans.

I would be saying "it's not my problem and it's not up to me to find a solution".

Good grief - of COURSE you’re not being unreasonable. Having children shoukd have no bearing on being allowed to take leave.

Why should she?

Absolutely wouldn't have killed those depending on her doing them a favour, to ask her in advance.

They assumed, felt entitled, didn't bother - and now it's a shock.

If you read my post, you'll see that I said that I know how awful it feels to leave your children part way through Christmas Day as I have had to do. Selfishly they would like to avoid having to do that but the OP does have the right to her choice of time off and I hope she has a wonderful time.

It's always a good idea to read posts properly before latching onto one tiny insignificant half sentence and having a go at someone. I have now rewritten exactly what I said previously in a slightly different way just for you. HTH

Children or not you have done more than your fair share of 5 years! Stick to your guns. People who enter jobs such as NHS were u don't necessarily get holidays off have to be prepared to work them when they enter that career. Its annoying yes but they chose the career. You've done more than your share of 5 years and I can't believe the way they are speaking to u to be honest. As a single mother of a young child I would do my fair share and id be disgusted at other colleagues speaking to u like that! No more favors for them OP. If its anything like my workplace most will go off sick 2 weeks before Xmas anyway 🙄 always the same to avoid it.

Have a great Christmas and New Year! YANBU, you’ve done your fair share, their childcare is not your problem, their children will have to learn to celebrate around family work patterns. Unfortunately that’s life.

Say sorry but you have already made arrangements

There are some careers where inevitably you have to work Christmas. Why people are then surprised when they are scheduled to work over Xmas I don’t understand.

My career requires evening work at times, I wouldn’t try and swop with colleagues without children, that would be unprofessional. Same applies for your colleagues. They need to grow up!

One of them said that I was deceitful by not telling them I wanted it all off because as she assumed I would cover it all she hadn’t asked for any of it off.

Oh dear. That sounds like a problem for her to fix. Stupid cow. Deceitful my arse. That comment alone would make me double down and make damn sure I never did her any favours ever again. Hope you have a lovely Christmas break in six months.

They need to work somewhere that closes for Christmas. You shouldn’t have to cover them every year but I also understand their sadness at missing Christmas with their children. I’m not saying you need to back down though.

I have children, OP. Stick to your guns!

Now you see the real personalities. You've done it all in the past so now you get the time off. Stand firm but if it's so important to them you will put the days up to the highest bidder. DO NOT give in unless there is something in it for you. I guarantee no one is going to say I'll give you £1000 pounds if you work Xmas day or I'll cover any other days you want off. They want something for nothing. Deceitful?? Er no she made an assumption and you got in first.

This. You've done your share and then some. Just because you don't have children doesn't mean you should have to work christmas anymore than they do. It's out right fucking horrible of them to even question this.

Stay firm
I'm taking the time off and have plans. It's been approved. It's my turn. Your personal circumstances are irrelevant.

They can go fuck themselves.

My dad worked as a rail engineer. He had to work every christmas and every new year from the age of 5 to the age of 18. He got triple pay and my family couldnt afford to not take that. We celebrated it when we could between then. It was actually pretty epic telling my friends we celebrated christmas on the 27/28/1st because my daddy was busy making the train tracks safe on christmas day.

Let then have their tantrum. You deserve this OP. Enjoy Christmas.