Was I unreasonable to say no?

[Thefourth]

Christmas allocation was sent out last week. We have to have it so early because we need to plan the out reach around it. For first time in 5 years I have Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day & NYD off. Im Working nye. We’re going to go away. We dont have children but that’s because I’m infertile it’s not because we don’t want them.

Usually I pick up extra but this year I thought fuck it, no I want to have it all off. So I requested it off and in the comments I pointed out I have covered their Christmas shifts & done my own for 5 years.

I have been massively guilty of tripped by 3 colleagues who have said I must pick up their Christmas shifts because they have children and I don’t. One of them said that I was deceitful by not telling them I wanted it all off because as she assumed I would cover it all she hadn’t asked for any of it off.

Another one has gone to our manager and demanded that he make me work it and give them my days off. He asked me to consider taking some of their shifts and I said if he asks me again I will quit.

For the last 5 years I have had off the 29th-30th December and then take my ‘Christmas leave’ in January.

Their children are 11,5,9,15,18 & 21 respectively if it changes anyone’s opinion.

the atmosphere is awful

There are two types of places ones that shut down completely over Christmas and ones that don't. If you work in one that doesn't you are ok with sometimes working over Christmas. END OF. Maybe there's a rare exception, like someone in the family is terminally ill and it's likely to be their last Christmas, but normal stuff like kids that lots of people have and you'll have for years and years make NO difference. Also if you are a parent, don't you want to save your colleagues good will for something you haven't chosen and requires you like your kid or childminder being sick?

I can’t fathom where it would exist? Never have I experienced or overheard or even been vaguely aware of stuff like this!

So they all take your generosity so much for granted they now think they have the right to it!

That will take a lot of adjustment for you. Its one he'll of a realisation

Oh, for them too. Now they'll have to work out what to do next year and the year after that... without them all relying on you to free up somenof their family time

I would tell them if they carry on being so nasty it will end up being a strict rotation and they will lose out.

Anyone who has family wants to make the most of the festive season whether they have children or not.

It’s because the shifts came out last week. The allocation needs to be made way in advance so we can plan emergency outreach. Trust me I’m not usually thinking about Christmas in June usually!!

I'm a parent who's also had to work over Christmas etc and know how awful it is when you have to leave your children on Christmas Day. I see both sides and ultimately you have the right to your share of decent time off so enjoy your break 🙂

Stick to your guns.

As you can see, they don’t recognize and appreciate the generosity you have shown, but instead consider it something owed to them.

The reason why you don’t have children is irrelevant.

Generally speaking…. Relations between you and these colleagues are in the gutter, yes?

This is just horrendous. I work for the NHS and on my ward it's work Xmas one year, NY the next. Fair for everyone. Some people (including me at times) might request to work both, or do bank over that time, but overall you work one and not the other. I do feel for our regular domestic staff though, who work Monday - Friday, or over the weekend (seems to be one contract or another) and aren't allowed to take any time off at Xmas or NY, so unless it falls on a weekend (or in the week, if it's weekend staff), they just have to suck it up. That said, I have heard people advising others "just tell them you have children and so you should have the time off". Err...why? I don't have children but I do have a family! I remember in my previous workplace (not NHS) one of my colleagues stating that she and other people with children should be given priority when requesting leave in the summer. And at the same workplace, the senior manager actually said to her junior (so, my direct line manager) with regards to Xmas "Make sure you give priority to those with families"! My line manager's response was "We've ALL got families...!" Correct! Your wish to have time off at Xmas is NOT trumped by theirs, and they are selfish arses for making a big deal of it, and making you feel like shit!

You have as much right as anyone with kids to take your Christmas leave!! Don't be guilt tripped you've done nothing wrong

Of course YANBU.

My adult sister does not have kids and I would be gutted if she could never join our sibling family group Christmases just because of that!

I would say to everyone that I’m taking my first Christmas off in 5 years and if I hear anyone bitching about it I will never cover a Christmas shift for them again.

This.

A friend of mine was asked to swap her Christmas Day off with someone as she didn’t have dc.
She replied ‘ I have parents and I’m their only dc so no I won’t be swapping .’

Horrible people. I’d be looking for another job.

Tell them their entitlement and guilt trips and frostiness at work has now ensured you won't be doing them any more favours going forward because they never appreciated the last 5 years worth of favours ! CFs the lot of them ! Why does their time off trump yours just because they have kids ?!? You still deserve a Christmas 🎄 and yes you should absolutely stick to it and make sure your manager sorts this too the prick ! I'm sorry they are treating you this way ❣️

Think how much money you can save now. No contributions to birthdays /weddings /Christmas cards. Bunch of tossers the lot of them...
Don't be afraid to make official complaints.. Bullying it is. Outright bullying..

Everyone is entitled to want some time off over Christmas, whether they have children or not! Don't let them make you feel guilty. You shouldn't need to, but reiterate that you have worked christmas for the last 5 years, you are having a break this year, you have plans.

Not when you're on the receiving end of emotional blackmail because you don't have children - especially from those who do. It's absolutely rubbing salt in the wound.

Its fine
But would have been better to mention to people that your not covering this year.

What a shower of bitches!!
Honestly you have done 5 years. I would be reminding them of that! Tell them if they keep going you will be covering no one in future Christmas holidays. People are an absolute joke.

Absolutely!! I was thinking about looking for a new job and this has cemented it

It's demeaning and downright heartless that they expect you to do it.

Loving this response😁

It's really hard because at Christmas there is no childcare open so those with children, especially single parents might struggle. BUT they have plenty of notice to make arrangements and find cover so it's only fair that you take this time off. We arrange holiday in April so plenty of time to find cover.