Was I unreasonable to say no?

[Thefourth]

Christmas allocation was sent out last week. We have to have it so early because we need to plan the out reach around it. For first time in 5 years I have Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day & NYD off. Im Working nye. We’re going to go away. We dont have children but that’s because I’m infertile it’s not because we don’t want them.

Usually I pick up extra but this year I thought fuck it, no I want to have it all off. So I requested it off and in the comments I pointed out I have covered their Christmas shifts & done my own for 5 years.

I have been massively guilty of tripped by 3 colleagues who have said I must pick up their Christmas shifts because they have children and I don’t. One of them said that I was deceitful by not telling them I wanted it all off because as she assumed I would cover it all she hadn’t asked for any of it off.

Another one has gone to our manager and demanded that he make me work it and give them my days off. He asked me to consider taking some of their shifts and I said if he asks me again I will quit.

For the last 5 years I have had off the 29th-30th December and then take my ‘Christmas leave’ in January.

Their children are 11,5,9,15,18 & 21 respectively if it changes anyone’s opinion.

the atmosphere is awful

Fgs you have plans
just say that already booked and paid for
no room for any flexibility
and then move on

YANBU. Your manager should be aware that you have worked these shifts for the last few years and it isn't fair for you to have to give them up this time.
Agree to saying you are going away and it's not possible to change dates.

Stick to your guns, OP. For 5 years you've done more than your fair share.

It's up to everyone to put in their requests in time. Management need to step up and state that clearly, and not ask you to change your plans just because they have no spine.

I have! They were all sat there bitching about how I ruined Christmas on Friday 🤣

I can't believe they are saying these things out loud! The entitlement is off the scale. I worked in NHS and they would look back over the previous 5 years to see who had worked and whose turn it was to be off. There were tears and tantrums every year. So glad to be retired.

Reiterate you have worked it the last 5 years and have been more than reasonable.

It is not ok for them to be cross with you and make it an uncomfortable working environment. How unappreciative of them to have forgotten the fact you've done it for so long, ungrateful knobs.

Stand your ground, OP! Whatever you do, do not back down.

I’m guessing that this entire work environment is pretty awful at the best of times

Absolutely don’t be guilted. You have more than done your turn and they are ignorant, entitled fuckwits to be doing this. Your manager is also shit for putting this back on you, he should them it’s your turn and to get over it.

If it helps at all my mum was a nurse and worked lots of Christmas and Christmas Eve shifts when I was little- I don’t remember any occasions of her not being there, we always had Christmas and it’s was always great, so it’s really not that big a deal.

Hope you have a lovely Xmas break.

YNBU and your colleagues are being ridiculous. You have as much right to time off as anyone else, particularly taking advantage of the bank holidays. I bet these CFs wouldn’t forgo their own plans for anyone, so why they expect you to is beyond me!

Enjoy booking something amazing!

It sounds like their policy for this isn’t great. They should have a policy of (for example), everyone is always scheduled to work 2 of the 5 holiday days (Christmas Eve - Boxing Day, NYE, NYD), and any swaps are fine but not taken into account in the following year’s allocations because they are personal arrangements.

However, that’s just a general observation about their system. I don’t think you’re done anything wrong at all.

Bloody hell, do colleagues actually behave like this? Their treatment of a fellow colleague, you, is downright appalling. Bullying comes to mind.

Ask your manager to send an email requesting that all staff refrain from pressuring staff into swapping. This really should have been specified in the original allocation announcement.

Don't relent.

We dont have children but that’s because I’m infertile it’s not because we don’t want them.

the reason why you don’t have children is utterly irrelevant

They are bullying you OP.

If they continue to make an issue of this I would put in an official complaint.

You have been more than reasonable in the past OP and you have every right to go ahead with your own plans this year.

Not nice having to deal with a horrible atmosphere at work. But look on the bright side, OP. Now your workmates have shown their true colours and you know for a fact they didn't truly appreciate you covering their shifts for the past 5 years, they just felt entitled to expect it, you don't have to feel obliged to do them any favours again! You're free!

Fuck em.

If their children were 1 2 3 4 5 you would STILL NBU

I have a 1 and 3 yr old... everyone deserves christmas off at some point...

Say your non refundable holiday has been booked it cost £10k and unless they want to reimburse you there is no further conversation to be had.
Additionally your manage is lame / out of order.

Mumsnet world. Where work colleagues behave like this, MILs are narcissists, school cliques, bitchy NCT classes, cheeky neighbours…. Endless litany of stuff like this that thankfully - I have never encountered

Tell them if they don't pack it in you won't be covering for them at any time ever again. It's bullying. Do not cave, it's not your problem they took you for granted.

Bless you, your colleagues sound like aholes

Have you worked in the NHS? This kind of bullying and people who are seen as a soft touch being pressured by strong characters into covering shifts no one wants is absolutely rife in Health care settings. Not helped by Managers who are too weak to stand up to this kind of nonsense. The situation OP describes is not uncommon at all.

This. It's bullying and needs to be nipped in the bud pronto.

Then you are very lucky

I’d say ‘Still banging on about that Jane? For your sake, just drop it. Honestly, I’m not going to change my mind. It’s the first Christmas I’ve had off in 5 years. Don’t work in an industry where you have to work at Christmas if it’s so bloody important. Kiss my ass and fuck off.’

Yeah, I’m amazed at how this stuff comes up. Who would have thought we’d have a “Childless people should work Christmas” thread in June.

Same. But I know I’ve been lucky and/or wise about the people I allow into my sphere!
All of this stuff exists. Be grateful you haven’t had to deal with it rather than scornful of those who have.