…to wonder how we fall in love when bodies are kind of grim?

[BarilynBordeaux]

Idle brain wandering - Seen a few posts advising to get over heartbreak or a crush on some bloke by imagining him the loo or whatever to prove he ain’t great - but, erm, everyone does that! Even people who are great 😂 Sometimes I wonder how we fall in love at all up against with the weird undignified reality of just having a body with all its functions. Sometimes just having a body feels so gross myself I wonder why I’m looking to share space with another one!

I know EXACTLY what you mean. We wash, make ourselves look lovely, shave, wax etc, but humans are so grim.
Even the sexy people at the gym, you know they’ve got big sweaty balls. Grim!
I think about it often. 😂😂

Cats are so much more beautiful. Humans are not an attractive species IMO.

Pheromones

Hormones 😂

Shave one..... Those Sphinx cats are what every cat looks like underneath.

Biology just isn't a sex thing. Other then the sex of course.

I think about this too.

This sort of thinking has impacted my sex life at times because when you think about the mechanics of sex, the idea of it becomes ridiculous- and then my libido crashes and burns 😂

I have been thinking exactly the same - humans can be gross myself included.

I was looking at my toes the other day thinking they put me off let alone other people.

Yes a lot to be said for hormones! They are the basic driver.

Now at 56 and very lonely - 7 years post divorce from a horrible man, I would love to meet someone - but apart from my many hang ups generally and my neediness, I wonder about the body thing as well 😂.

Jonathan Swift agreed with you decades ago in his poem ‘The Lady’s Dressing Room’
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/50579/the-ladys-dressing-room

Sex is really odd.

Nope sorry. This is from the same stable as people washing towels after every use or hovering above toilet seats and having a shower before sex. I don't find normal human biology grim or ick. I mean, levels of hygenie required by primary aged children are required, no poo smears or wee on the toilet, wash hands, but beyond that I don't give it a thought.

I definitely dont wash towels after every use or any of the things you say. I also answer my doorbell and phone. 😊
Not the same.

There are some really attractive bits of human bodies, like forearms and the bit above the upper lip. I find I can look at lots of people without thinking about sweaty balls at all.

I take the Tube daily. Enough said.

They lick their bums though.

You fall in love with the personality contained in a body - that they are kind, friendly, gentle, loving, attentive, warm etc etc etc is what matters surely?

Totally see your point, OP.

It amazes me that sex scenes in tv/film still happen cus we all do it and it's hardly entertaining!

It also confuses me that people will pay to see eg the Chippendales. I don't find muscly chests exciting in the slightest and they're all greased up and gross!

Are we the outliers, though? Do most people actually like looking at dangly cock and balls?

We have language, so we have to reconcile ourselves with what we are. All the other animals just be, in the moment.

I can’t overthink this otherwise I’ll never have sex again.

I’m married but we each have our own bathrooms, and are freshly showered before any type of sex.

I am easily turned, I’m afraid. Now when I was younger I was more than up for sex with all sorts of men after nights out, and had one boyfriend in particular that I was so attracted to that he could do no wrong and post gym/work (manual worker) sweat was a turn on.

I’m older and more uptight now.

And I’ve never found imagining someone on the loo remotely efficacious in lessening an inconvenient attraction. As you say, everyone does it.

(And Swift, albeit himself a crusty old misogynist, is also satirising the kind of courtly love tropes in which the beloved is a goddess with a wholly natural beauty and no bodily functions rather than a human animal who sweats, shits, and goes to a lot of effort to put forth a socially acceptable ‘feminine’ self-presentation in public.)

I find men’s bodies a bit gross and faintly ridiculous, but dh, is my golden Greek Adonis, despite having a perfectly average dad bod. It’s really weird and completely defies reason. And sometimes I feel faintly resentful for the entrapment!

It is the whole package !

Mind
Body
Soul
Sense of humour
Sense of adventure
Sense of smell
Sense of themselves

Yes! Absolutely this. My dog doesn’t have to wonder or worry about any of this stuff. His body is pretty ridiculous and gross too, but he doesn’t even know what a ‘body’ is.

I’m so glad other people have these sorts of musings and I’m not on my own.

When you really fancy someone even the thought of their Betty Swollocks can’t put you off. The miracle of pheromones/human sex drive I guess 😜

Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia shits! Is something I say to myself when I ick myself out to give my head a wobble 😂

General consensus is hormones cover a multitude of sweaty balls sins I think 🤔