…to wonder how we fall in love when bodies are kind of grim?

[BarilynBordeaux]

Idle brain wandering - Seen a few posts advising to get over heartbreak or a crush on some bloke by imagining him the loo or whatever to prove he ain’t great - but, erm, everyone does that! Even people who are great 😂 Sometimes I wonder how we fall in love at all up against with the weird undignified reality of just having a body with all its functions. Sometimes just having a body feels so gross myself I wonder why I’m looking to share space with another one!

Yes… and we have self awareness

Pheromones. I have had insane crushes on men who aren't remotely conventionally handsome, but they have something about them. If aesthetic appreciation was the same as sexuality, I would fancy women over men. I don't, not even a little bit. I'm 100% straight.

if you don't WANT to do something, why on earth would you do it before menopause? No one is asking you to be a martyr, or it's on you.

My point was that if my body was suddenly deciding it physically would refuse to have a sexual life, I would be very sad. I know what I would be missing, I don't want to stop having sex just because I am a couple of years older!

definitely pheromones coupled with hormones

A thousand times this. Women are far more aesthetically appealing (generally speaking) than men. But some men have that unstoppable sex appeal, and as a totally straight woman I have never felt that in the slightest for a woman.
Pheromones / hormones are absolutely incredible.

Absolutely this! At 52 my libido is healthier than ever. Had it twice today already

TMI - don’t read if you find men’s bodies gross!

I have always loved men’s bodies, love the mechanics of it all, the look of an erect man, I’m enthralled by ejaculation etc and when I become conscious of the ‘design’ of my own body, that it is made specifically to accommodate a penis, I become quite giddy with it!

Obviously desire waxes and wanes but on the whole it’s a beautiful thing and I hope it continues well into old age

I was thinking this the other day - my boyfriend died earlier this year and we had a lot of sex. I'm obviously not looking for another relationship at the moment but I'd like to have sex again one day. But the thought of doing those things again feels really weird!

Yes, all of this! People who really don't take care of themselves, fine - but I consistently find men and women attractive.

There are plenty of men I see in the gym - 40s, 50s, even older - where thinking about them naked and sweaty is absolutely hot.

I like male anatomy, yes, including balls. Some women do!

I just geniunely dont understand this. Naked bodies might as well be part of the scenery to me.
TBF though Im asexual so never really understood why people do stuff to each other!LOL😄

honestly? Because it feels insanely good.
Say you like chocolate. (I am addicted to chocolate). If had to exclude one forever, I'd give up chocolate and keep sex without hesitation

I don't find women body arousing in the slightest, so it might be a bit similar. I look at them, can judge what I think is attractive (toned etc) and where they look better than I do, but interest? none.

A hot guy with the shirt just slightly unbuttoned? that's nearly enough 😂
You can't control who you are attracted to

Im addicted to chocolate and if you made me pick id choose the chocolate for life any time. I have a lot of doubt over your love for chocolate if you would say otherwise

This is exactly how I feel and the spirit in which I started the thread.

I’m in peri myself and I think this has a lot to do with my sudden detachment from the lusting side of things. Fair play to those who are still raring to go!

Women's bodies are nowhere near as grim, just sayin'.

Well, the thing is I started this thinking about the things we all do - everyone has to empty their bowels, fart, gets hideous breath, is a greasy human lollipop of dead skin within a few days if everything isn’t maintained. I just as surprised that men fall for women. When I think of meeting someone new (and I’m sure this is hormone drop) I think ‘could I deal with flatulence and shite stains for 20 years’ instead of ‘let get down’

I do hope the rest of middle age isn’t like this tbh it’s a bit depressing in some ways 😂

I do sometimes wonder how it worked out that the waste disposal areas of the body are the same as the sexual areas. Like putting the amusement park next to the sewers.

My ex had a low libido, I'm no nymphomaniac but he used to reject me all the time despite professing to want it. He was on the spectrum and every now and then would offer insights into what he was thinking.

With sex he was quite keen at the start but it just tailed off sadly. But he told me once he learned that women's parts start out as male parts which "killed the magic" for him. He also used to say he'd think about stuff like poo stored in the rectum and it turned him off.

I've not been with anyone since (3 years and counting).

Yikes, this thread went from hilarious to really depressing really quickly

Men have the insane urge to procreate though, they are literally walking round thinking about it all the time. The urge to put their dick in something is stronger than the possibility of it smelling. Hence why the human race has carried on despite centuries of smelly people!
Women are generally fussier, don’t have that same urge so for me someones hygiene matters more than anything as I can live without the sex. If they smell bad or I’m grossed out I’ll just go without