Would you go to a destination wedding in Italy?

[Camde]

We’re looking at potentially having a wedding in a villa in Italy.

Accomodation would be included, so people would just have to pay for flights.

Will people resent us, or would you be happy to do a weekend in Italy for a wedding?

Logistics will be an issue- a friend tried to organize a wedding abroad.
Guests with children were trying to stay for the minimum amount of time which meant flying in to one airport, out of another. Which caused an issue with car rental.
I would have taken DC out of school for a week and DH would have had to take a week off work. I would have done it but others couldn't.
In the end the wedding was held elsewhere and was Fab

If you can't be selfish on your wedding day, then what's the point?

Depends. I love a wedding. I've been to some destination weddings and declined others.

It's a big commitment re money, annual leave and childcare so it would depend on the dates/situation.

I have kids and it’s no fun for them. Also wouldn’t want to use holiday budget for this as well, as much as I love my friends. I think these destination weddings are such a pita- expensive, inconvenient and just a big ask. BUT only you know your friends and whether they would be up for it. It’s all good saying that you understand people don’t have to come, but when you have this idea of a wedding and close friends and family with you, and almost no one is there it really doesn’t make your wedding special.

We wouldn’t go mainly because of cost, and haven’t in the past for destination weddings. Not gone on destination stag/hen dos either. We don’t have passports, so that cost has to be factored in. Are children invited? Extra plane seats to buy, would their rooms be included? If not, childcare at home would need to be sorted, and if it’s a family wedding there wouldn’t be family at home to care for them.
I wouldn’t resent you for doing it, as long as you’d understand why we wouldn’t be going. My SIL is looking at a destination wedding, and we’ve already said we can’t go. PIL understand, but the quiet comments from others about maybe having to settle for the UK so we can go are getting tiresome.

@tumblingdowntherabbithole Really? That’s such a modern view and prevalent. It’s somewhat unpleasant though.

@ProfessorofCunning If his sister really wants a destination wedding though there are ways to mitigate costs to you.

For one just your husband could go. That makes it easier for the bride and groom to subside his flight and accommodation. The passport is an expense but equally it’s done then for a while and the price of them will only ever go up.

I can't see what's unpleasant about it. My wedding was for me and DH, not everyone else. We did what we could afford and what we wanted - other people's attendance (parents aside) didn't even come into it.

Not willingly. I’d have to for certain family and friends but I’d much prefer a local wedding, that I can go to, go home after and not have to pack, organise time off, wrangle dc through airports for.

I’d love a holiday in Italy, sometime, but we have plans and our dc have places they want to visit and I don’t want to have to postpone our family trips because the budget has been spent on a destination wedding.

There are other complicating factors I won’t go into, but I’d probably decline unless you were very, very close family.

No, we were invited to one once. The couple intentionally planned it for half term so friends with kids could come for the whole week. It meant tickets were £££. And then it was like in a rural area and we would have had to hire a car and get one of very hard to find holiday lets, unless we wanted to stay at the big family villa at whatever cost, but we didn’t as I was pregnant and we had a small child and we wouldn’t be up til 3am doing shots with everyone else. So it was a no.

I think the problem with weddings in Italy is people don’t go there to have them in the town next to the airport. They are a bit of a PITA in terms of travel. No one cares about going to Italy to see you get married. They would be just as thrilled with celebrating your marriage in Swindon. Save Tuscany for an amazing honeymoon when all the stress is over and you can actually enjoy it.

You don't have a passport?

Lots of people don't have passports.

Definitely before kids, especially if the accommodation is paid for so it’s flights and spending money I’d need to cover. Possibly now I have kids, depends a bit on their ages etc, If it was childfree or at the age they are now (3 and <6 months) then no. I’m lucky insofar as I don’t need to concern myself too much with annual leave though, as I’m self employed.

But why? I assume you just don't have an intention of going abroad

No some pple cannot afford to afford to! Shocked that you’re perplexed by that. Due to ill health & subsequent low income I haven’t renewed my passport or been able to travel abroad in 10yrs.

I'm sorry that you have health issues. Passport renewal costs £94.50. As a one off expense that will last for 10 years is it that much of a burden for a lot of the population?

How lovely! I would definitely go

Yes of course if it were family or good friends, wouldn’t miss it even if we had to wizz in and out over 1 night. Periphery friends, probably not but maybe

Well the passport itself is not the problem is it? Foreign travel for A LOT of pple is a luxury not a right.

I would but I wouldn't want to stay in a villa, I would want to do a hotel and extend it into my own holiday. When we've gone to abroad weddings before we go for 10 days/ 2 weeks and time it with the wedding in the middle

I would because I love Italy, I love weddings and if I had time to plan could put the money aside for it. I would appreciate it if it was easy to get to and not in the arse end of nowhere though.

I’m going to a destination wedding in Italy next year, so yes I would. They’re not even paying for our accommodation so yours sounds even more appealing! We’re going to make a full holiday of it.

So long as you’re happy to accept not everyone will be able/want to travel for a wedding, do what you want.

Ask the people you absolutely have to have there if they wil go and then accept the fact that some of the ‘nice to have’ guests might not make it. I guess it depends a bit on your group of friends, how much disposable income they have, if you’re doing it in a school holiday / if they have children / childcare etc.

I’d go if I could bring my kids or persuade someone to look after them (which might be tough!).

I mean, can you not use your imagination a little bit?

Passports are £100 each, so for a family of four, that's £400 (plus photos and faffing about with forms) before you can even book your flights. It's expensive to own a passport and to travel abroad.

Lots of people never manage it.

Yes this