Would you go to a destination wedding in Italy?

[Camde]

We’re looking at potentially having a wedding in a villa in Italy.

Accomodation would be included, so people would just have to pay for flights.

Will people resent us, or would you be happy to do a weekend in Italy for a wedding?

I would probably only go if it were one of my own children getting married. Couldn't go to my brother's destination wedding as I couldn't get the required time off work.

IMO there's something quite selfish about a destination wedding- if you want the people you love to attend, and most people are fairly local to you, why not just go to Italy for the honeymoon?

If one of you is Italian, then fair enough, but be aware that many people can't/ won't travel.

Close friend or family, yes. I'd love that!

One thing to consider is whether children are invited? If people are going to have to find over night childcare that might hinder a lot of people attending. If children are invited, and it's not school hols, people might just have to weigh up flying in and out on a short break vs the cost.

A colleague of mine’s DD is having a ‘destination’ wedding in August (not Italy but nearby). She is fed up to the back teeth of it all, the exorbitant costs, the number of guests who can’t make it because of their costs, the thought of attending a wedding in 35 degree heat! She wishes her DD had just eloped and they’re not even married yet!

No. Even allowing for accommodation to be paid for there is still flights, transfers, food etc plus use of holiday allowance

NRTFT

We did just that about 2 years ago for a family member. It was in Tuscany and was brilliant, as we had the whole place (castle) for just the wedding party and close guests.

Had to take the kids out of school for 2 days and had a nightmare with the flights going out. But still remember it very fondly. In fact, it has inspired dd1 to want to do something similar if and when she gets married. Do it OP!

We often have. Our friends are scattered all over Europe, the US, SA, India, and are often marrying someone from another country to where they’re living, so there’s no option that’s local for everyone.

I agree with PP. If it’s the actual wedding then yes I would happily go.

If it’s one of these naff pretend things where the couple already got married at Hull Register Office then no

Yes, and I last attended one there last year and it was fabulous! I got married abroad myself years ago, and I think the way to look at it is the people that actually want to be there will travel and be there. You won’t get people rsvp’ing yes because it’s local and they’d have to come up with an excuse not to attend. It’s your wedding, have it where you like and have a fantastic time!

In all honesty OP, I think you're asking in the wrong place.

If I were you I would sound out some of your actual friends and family, the people who you would really want to be there, and ask them to tell you honestly whether they'd be up for it or whether it would just be a major pain in the arse.

I got married in France, OK it wasn't a destination wedding because my husband is french and we live here, but nearly all of my friends and family from the UK came.

Two close friends of mine in the UK got married in France and Italy respectively. In each case one of the couple was from there, but lots of people travelled from the UK.

My friend's sister had a destination wedding in Spain, no connection to the place whatsoever, she just wanted to, and I think it was well attended and people had fun.

It really depends on what kind of friends and family you have. Mumsnet is very negative about this sort of thing but not everyone is.

If you are going to do it, I would highly recommend doing it somewhere close to an airport with regular cheap flights from the part of the UK most of your friends and family would be travelling from. Paying for accommodation is lovely but also consider how they're going to get there. If it's a 100€ Uber ride from the airport then that's not so great. Both my friends laid on coaches after their weddings to take people from the venue back to where they were staying.

Yes if they were a close relative or friend.
No, if it was clear we were invited to make the guest numbers up for the video and photoshoot.

Accommodation is not the only cost though is it? I might as I’m self employed and my children are independent, but I’d still need a pet sitter. And are you going to feed all your guests for the whole weekend of their stay?
I always thought if I married again (I’m a widow, and my wedding was a black tie affair for 120 people in central London), I’d do it at my parents house in Spain. I’d only expect maybe a dozen people who could attend.

I wouldn't go but we can only afford to go on holiday roughly once every 2 years, so I wouldn't be spending my holiday money on someone else's wedding. Flights, food etc all add up even if accommodation is paid for. But if your friends/family have more disposable income then it may not be so much of a problem for them.

No, I wouldn't go. We would struggle to afford the flights and I'd resent being expected to pay what is clearly going to be several hundred pounds on someone else's wedding.

Money is tight at the moment.

Yes! I love a destination wedding. I got married in Italy and it was fab - everyone who came from the UK absolutely loved it and were happy to also have a holiday. A couple of people weren’t able to come sadly, but we knew that would be the case.

we would of course be completely fine with people who can’t make it - no expectation at all.

We’re in our twenties, and none of our friends have kids yet. But there are some with kids in our extended families so would probably include children in the wedding.

its very early stages of thinking about things, we’re not committed to it being abroad yet.

Where in Italy could make a difference. Somewhere near to an airport with a choice of airlines and not in school holidays will cost each guest a lot less than one in August for example.

I wouldn’t resent you, but unless I can tag a holiday Onto it, and the wedding destination costs weren’t extortionate, then I may not be able to go.

You could spin this and say, how would you feel if guests decide they can’t make it for whatever reason (which you may or may not agree with)? Rejection? Resentment?

How much are the flights to your destination? You say you’re paying for the accommodation…is that food, drink, taxis as well?
Will you already be married in uk & you just fancy another party & have another dress?

Depends on the price of the flights and accomodation (are you paying inly for the noght of the wedding, weekend or week?), how convenient the location is, how close I am to you and the timing. I wouldn't resent you, but there are a lot of factors that come into play if i would/could attend.

Oh yes! We went to the wedding in Italy 2 years ago of my very close friend's daughter (whom I've known since she was a baby and who calls me "auntie Vicky"). The couple did the legal wedding the day before their commitment ceremony and we all had a fabulous time. There were about 40 guests, accommodated in 2 separate villas and it was just amazing - we were there for a week, only had to find our plane fares. I've spent more going to a UK hotel-based wedding.

Went to one on the Amalfi coast. It was expensive and inconvenient, everyone complained. It caused massive problems in my friend group between the haves and have not who could / could not afford to go.

The setting was fabulous and the views stupendous. Made the wedding photos look brilliant .

We had a good time but I love Italy and was happy to go

No, because if I was going to fly to Italy for a weekend, I'd want to travel, not sit at someone's wedding.

Just got back from one, best wedding I’ve ever been to. Will always go to wedding overseas. They had around 59 guests.

Wouldn't resent you, but also wouldn't go unless (a) you were my immediate family or best friend, (b) it was during the school holidays and (c) the kids could come too.

Travel then. We did 7 days travelling ending at the 3 day wedding. Was fabulous.