Would you go to a destination wedding in Italy?

[Camde]

We’re looking at potentially having a wedding in a villa in Italy.

Accomodation would be included, so people would just have to pay for flights.

Will people resent us, or would you be happy to do a weekend in Italy for a wedding?

We did, but that was just the two of us with one couple who are our close friends and their children. I wouldn’t have expected other guests to attend at that distance and cost.

My DD has been to a few abroad and two long haul ones coming up. She’s a high earner and tags a holiday on. She’s been to a mega swish one in Rome. She either goes with friends or now, boyfriend. Long haul ones are all paid for in terms of wedding and accommodation but then the holidays are down to her. She likes the venues and the friends though, so they are going. Flights always extra.

As a result it depends on when it is, do lots of guests have Dc and is it in 100 degree heat? Does it have holiday potential before or after? The heat of summer would stop me but if at Easter, why not? Don’t assume everyone can afford the money or the time though. The Rome one dd went to had 3 formal meals to attend in evening dresses! Amazing experience though.

I would have gone before kids but wouldn't now (DC are teens).

Would go to anything in Italy

I went to a friends wedding in France last year. She only charged me 100 for 2 nights accommodation think she felt sorry for me cos I am single and brought my ds age 15. It was amazing and I’ll always remember it but … it cost a lot … I had to get 2 more nights accommodation as flights only went twice a week. Clothes - I had no summer clothes which wasn’t that dear I suppose. An outfit again I didn’t spend a huge amount . Then meals on the 2 days before and after for me and ds. She wanted to charge us 50 for a meal on the first and last nite so I skipped those- arrived late and left early so wasn’t embarrassing. Also I didn’t know anyone except the bride. Bit lonely. Would I go again? Maybe. I never added up everything I spent I was too scared ha ha. Flights weren’t cheap. It will cost you too - think about what people wil do the night before and night after. Easier if ur in a city I guess. This was in the middle of nowhere. She provided some croissants and fruit on the wedding morning. And the day after there was breakfast served. HTH

For me it depends entirely on the time of year, I went to Italy in the summer once and never again -- I'm American and temp wise it was about the same but the lack of AC nearly did me in. 😓

@FrodoBiggins I did wonder if you were a guest at mine!

As everyone says it really depends on the circumstances of your guest list.

Mine had to be school holidays - that suited most of my single friends. October also suited them being not to near Christmas but missing the sun / summer holiday. Of the others, a sizeable proportion had retired early and my husband's friends were freelancers used to travel.
When I sent the invites I assumed 10-15% drop out rate. This was not the case and pretty much everyone came. Most were out before us and many stayed out longer ( we had it Friday - Monday).

We went to a destination wedding in Malta a couple of years ago and turned it into a holiday. I wasn't even invited, having never met the bride and groom who is one of H's oldest friends, and H was only invited to the evening! I was planning to just chill in the hotel while he went to the do but actually a spot became free for the evening so I got a last minute invitation.

I did think that was a bit of a piss take tbh (it wasn't even a free bar and no accommodation or flights etc provided) but I understand that the bride has serious anxiety and control issues and wanted to keep numbers down. Probably why she chose Malta tbh, as a lot of people wouldn't be able to make it 🤣 no connections whatsoever to the country for either B or G and they'd never even been there!

Anyway we had an amazing two week holiday after the wedding doing our own thing so it was all good 😊

Sorry that was a very long way of saying yes, I'd come to a destination wedding in Italy and probably extend it into a holiday!

If you were close family and you gave me loads of notice - I would love to go to a wedding in Italy.

anyone else and it would be a decline.

I went to a fantastic wedding in Italy when my flatmate married an Italian. It was a wonderful experience. All the guests covered our own costs apart from the wedding reception. Expensive and it meant using a week's annual leave because the journey was complicated and it made sense to spend a couple of days each side of the wedding rather than rushing.
But I wouldn't want to sign up for the time, trouble and expense just because two British friends wanted to get married abroad, with the only, unattractive, alternative being missing the wedding.
Holiday destinations, budgets and dates are best decided by the person who wants a holiday, not their friends, however well meaning.

Pre child almost certainly would have gone, and made a holiday around it.

Now I'd still want to go, but it would depend on whether it was term time or not and whether dc was invited or not. The logistics for some scenarios would be easier than others.

I wouldn't resent you. But in my experience destination weddings are a big faff for guests, especially ones in the middle of nowhere or somewhere incredibly hot.

My friend is getting married (unofficially, they're doing the official bit at the registery office at home) in Italy next year. It's on a Saturday but I can't go as the flight schedules mean I'd have to miss work and I'm a teacher which means I can't have extra time off (for obvious reasons!). Plus, even if I could go it is an expensive trip and lots of time spend at the airport, on the plane, travelling to the venue etc. for just 1/2 nights, and due to their costs she has only invited me and not my partner, so I'd spend a lot of time alone. She seems to have taken it quite personally when I said I was really sorry but I couldn't go. I suppose what I'm trying to say is if that's what you want to do for your wedding then absolutely do, it's your day and it's important that you do what makes you happy, but as long as you maintain realistic expectations that not everyone you want there might be able to attend ♥️

Edited to clarify a few bits x

If your friend/family group have a similar level of income /lifestyle to you & it’s not unheard of in your circle to do this then no reason why you shouldn’t. Those with DC may struggle to depending on ages & there is the argument that it’s a lot of cost & travel (for some perhaps) only to spend a short amount of time there. Altho they cld always spend longer there & make a holiday out of it.

20 flights are cheaper than £450ish for a registry office ceremony? Wow!

We went to a wedding like this in Italy and it was absolutely lovely. Italians know how to do weddings!

Getting married costs more than £450 if you aren't allergic to fun.

Before I had kids maybe, after I had kids definitely not.

What time of year
What sort of price will flights be at that time
How will they get from the airport to the destination & how long will it take (public transport, car hire etc)
What is there to do in the destination
How long will you hire the villa for?
If guests decide to make it more of a holiday what else is there to do in the area, how expensive is the area etc
How much will they need to spend Once there - meals, travel etc

I love Italy but I like to do things I'm interested in, eat in local trattoria & take things at my pace. My instinct on things like this is to be very wary... I don't want to find myself forced into someone else's agenda for my break.
Oh & if it's a themed wedding & everyone has to wear the same colour/ a certain style then it's a definite NO, especially if that extends over the whole break.

I went to one in Sorrento. The villa was in the hills and it was 100euro everytime anyone wanted to get a cab to town for dinner. Very ill thought out. I think let people book their own accommodation.

Church wedding and reception in the UK is a lot more ....but my son in law to be is good at finding flights at good prices.

Me, I wouldn't/couldn't go but if you're confident that all the people you want there can organize and afford to go to your wedding then go ahead.

At the risk of sounding like Victor Meldrew and pulling a downer on your parade, I personally think 'destination weddings' is not money well spent, by anybody.

If you love Italy then spend your Honeymoon there

One of our DC got married in Venice, quite a few years ago now. A small wedding, parents, siblings and a handful of friends. It was a lovely experience, and luckily we could afford it.

A destination wedding done right can be great and you're already on the right track. Italy is not to far or expensive to get to, and a villa is great in guessing the location of the ceremony, reception and guests accomodation.

You'll need to pick between school holidays for families or soft/shoulder season for lower costs and temperatures. If you can I would personally recommend late May to early June and avoid August as Italy is very hot and lots of people are on holiday. If you have the ceremony Saturday afternoon this gives the opportunity for people to fly in Friday evening or Saturday morning and leave on Sunday.

My cousin did this with a meal at a restaurant on the Friday and even timed everything around the EJ flights from her home town to the destination and matched people to those hiring cars so no one ended up paying for taxis. She also made clear she didn't expect gifts, though of course she got them, and found low cost hotel deals next door for those not staying at the villa. She also put one hell of a party which was worth travelling for

Yes I've never been to Italy before and I'd love to have a good time at the wedding.

So your friend isn’t getting married in Italy, she’s having a party in Italy. I’d not spend money and annual leave on a party, personally.