Would you go to a destination wedding in Italy?

[Camde]

We’re looking at potentially having a wedding in a villa in Italy.

Accomodation would be included, so people would just have to pay for flights.

Will people resent us, or would you be happy to do a weekend in Italy for a wedding?

Exactly!

Yes, for a loved one, no problem.

I love destination weddings, but then I love weddings and always happy to make a holiday out of one.

I seem very different from a lot of posters

After our wedding I had one friend telling me it got her over her depression ( its a very life affirming town).
Its special for another group of guests as it was their last holiday before one of them had a terminal diagnosis.
Several people have gone back and had further holidays there as it's so nice. And thanked us for introducing them to it.
So I do think the right destination is key.

Yes but the point was weddings don't have to cost the earth. They are what you make them.

Dunno what churches your DD and SIL have been looking at but they aren't more than a destination wedding. Unless in a cathedral or an abbey and your booking a string band, harpist and full organ for your ceremony. 🙄

I would go.

Depends on how close I am to the couple. For my close friends and family yes, in a heartbeat. Even if it meant that was my only holiday. For people I am not that close to - no. I was invited to a destination wedding a few years ago and declined on the basis I hadn't actually spoken to the bride in several years (and then only because we happened to be at the same party) and the last time she contacted me off her own back was probably 10 years prior. I was invited because we were part of the same group at school. I couldn't justify the expense, and being truthful probably would have declined if it had been in this country as well.

Yes, assuming I was free, I’d be delighted to attend. In fact I might even extend out the stay and make a bit of a holiday of it.

Depending who was getting married and how it would work out with childcare or if the children were invited is it school holidays.
We have done a destination wedding for my brother, just had DD1 then and she was invited so it was a lovely holiday with extended family. We turned down one in far north of Scotland for a cousin though because DC not invited and we would have needed to be away 2 nights and flights and hotels were expensive. Didn’t resent them though, it was their wedding so their choice, they also weren’t annoyed we weren’t going. You have to accept that more people will decline when you decide on a destination wedding.

We did years ago. Went to one in Lucca and it was fantastic. Would totally do so again

I'd be happy to go and make a trip of it if my children were invited. If it was a child free wedding I'd send my best wishes and pass on attending.

Some people will always gripe about a destination wedding but as long as you have good grace about people saying no, there's no reason for you not to have what you want.

I love Italy and would happily go.

The only thing that would put me off having a wedding there myself would be friends of colour who have had awful experiences there in recent years. I would rather have a wedding elsewhere and have them present than risk them being abused by members of the public on my watch.

And most people want to make them a celebration. There's nothing wrong with that.

Depends on how many guest your feeding destination wedding for smaller number or 80 guests plus extras in the evening soon mounts up.

I got married in Italy 15 years ago (1st marriage) and it was lovely - most people made a holiday of it, and we just had our closest family & friends there, it was lovely.
now, my DSis is getting married in Italy this year and we can’t wait - again, no accommodation being paid for, but we are making a holiday out of it and enjoy being in a beautiful country.
go for it, but don’t put pressure on anyone if they can’t come for whatever reason.

I have been to a destination wedding in Italy (close family) but I would say hello no.

First destination weddings are selfish. It’s a forced holiday so the bride and groom can spend less on their wedding. The bride and groom may think it’s lovely but the guests may not. Not everyone wants to take time off, spend a load of money on a place they don’t want to etc especially if they aren’t close family.

The weather in June was 38 degrees so the bride and groom were absolutely melting. Everyone in the photos looked beet red and over heated.

The food planned wasn’t appropriate as it was either hot (we were too hot and didn’t want to eat) or melting in the weather. Drinks got warm very quickly. People got drunk very quickly because of the heat.

The ceremony was all in Italian (obviously) and we had no idea what was going on, what was being said or when it was finished. Found that very weird.

Normally the bride and groom have to be there at least a week before so hear that in mind as you have to register your marriage etc.

Sourcing anything is challenging anything in a different language and while the venue had a wedding coordinator there were a lot of things that weren’t the brides choice.

Flights were expensive because flights to Italy can be. A lot of people close to the couple couldn’t go.

A lot of people left early as it wasn’t for the kids and no one to watch the kids.

OP you have a romanticised view and I think you really need to think about this. I would never go to another destination wedding again (that wasn’t my only one). It’s just a selfish decision.

Not unless you paid my flights and accommodation.

@Itallcomesdowntothis Spend less? The one in Italy (and another in Switzerland) were off the scale opulent. Saudi families and Nigerians. No expense spared and 2nd weddings in their home countries too. The fun of going really does depend on who is hosting.

I think as long as I knew my direct family were on board yes I’d consider it.

With all guests I would make it explicitly clear that there was absolutely no pressure at all to attend for whatever reason.

People could not want to go for many reasons. Leaving children, pets, not being able to get time off work, money and so on.

With any destination wedding you have to have no expectations about people coming and accept that.

I actually went to my friends wedding in Italy with my DH and 2 young DD’s (aged only 1&3 at the time!) so yes, I absolutely would make the effort to go. Please PLEASE don’t have your wedding where you think most people will turn up. Please PLEASE have the wedding that you and your OH genuinely want. It’s YOUR day after all (:

Just to add, we had a destination wedding (Cyprus) back in 2018 and we accepted the fact that some people who we invited wouldn’t come. In fact, we had everyone there expect 2 people (who were at another destination wedding that they had agreed to before ours!) It was the wedding of our dreams and we wouldn’t have changed it for the world (:

The other aspect of a wedding abroad is knowing some friends/family cannot afford it so you are deliberately excluding them. They know that and it doesn’t feel very friendly. Larger families with young dc are very much disadvantaged.

If people come from a country abroad, that’s different. This is why the weddings dd is going to for holidays are where they are. Other weddings, just for the venues, feel utterly selfish if you know people won’t be able to come.

I would, IF:
Not in high summer because of the heat/mozzies
The destination was easy to get to, not far from the airport ( 30 mins?) and doable by public transport or taxi
People get to decide whether or not to bring their children. Whereas finding a babysitter for a day or even overnight is probably possible for some parents, being away for a whole weekend is not doable for many. The alternative is just one parent in a couple attending, which might put people off.

I would be happy to take a few days leave for this, it sounds lovely.

@TizerorFizz Yes but again it’s individual circumstances.

If all the key players are no more than an hours drive away, yes, it’s probably more inclusive to organise something at home.

Mine were literally scattered across the country ( and my parents in the next one). asking people to drive hours away and get a hotel means you really do have to make it worth their while. Added to which my town is a small one. We and local friends have done all the pubs and venues to death through other weddings/ significant birthdays etc.

If you are limited to certain times of the year it’s very likely that places are already booked up.