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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have insisted on DH doing his ‘business’ at work when we were down to one bathroom

465 replies

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 08:36

I told my friends this last night who found it amusing so would be interested to hear if they are the only ones!

We were down to just our upstairs bathroom this week as the downstairs bathroom was being re-done (finally finished yesterday afternoon).

Given the heat, DH was told that he should do his usual morning business when he arrives at his work rather than use the upstairs bathroom, as I didn’t fancy the smell festering all morning in this heat.

DH was fine with this - AIBU to have made such a request?!

OP posts:
tealandteal · 21/06/2025 13:08

Massively unreasonable to ask your poor DH to leave the house! Yes it is polite to not use the ensuite if you share the bedroom with someone but you can use it for a wee. Surely you do that? But in this instance it’s one of those things you have to put up with as you have a toilet out of action. You still have two though……

Also, of course there are loads of 1 bathroom houses. Most older houses up to a certain size. Perhaps you should encourage your DH to eat more fibre.

MyHouseInThePrairie · 21/06/2025 13:10

Gloriia · 21/06/2025 12:21

Yes why is he producing such notice stenches? I can go into any bathroom after anyone in the house and not be repelled.

Maybe he needs to eat better?

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Lucky you that no one in your house has some issues with other health including all GI stuff.
It doesn’t mean the person isn’t ‘eating well’

Negroany · 21/06/2025 13:10

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 12:09

I’m struggling to believe that one bathroom houses are as common as is being made out. What an absurd proposition.

Even the ghastly shoe box new builds which have sprung up everywhere have at least two.

If I was to consider acquiring an older property with one bathroom, I’d certainly conduct due diligence on the ease at which a further one could be installed.

It’s 2025, goodness me.

Well, obviously it is totally normal to have one bathroom. I have one. But I do have a downstairs loo.

But I also cannot poo to order. I need to go when I need to go. So I can't "not poo at work" if I need to go. And I can't "only poo at work" either. I'm not sure it's a great idea to try to control this a lot.

Fireandwaters · 21/06/2025 13:12

Does your poo smell of roses OP? YABVVVU.

aspidernamedfluffy · 21/06/2025 13:12

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 12:09

I’m struggling to believe that one bathroom houses are as common as is being made out. What an absurd proposition.

Even the ghastly shoe box new builds which have sprung up everywhere have at least two.

If I was to consider acquiring an older property with one bathroom, I’d certainly conduct due diligence on the ease at which a further one could be installed.

It’s 2025, goodness me.

I'm struggling to believe that someone as snobby and ignorant as you has a husband....still, takes all sorts I suppose.

Bonbonthechewyone · 21/06/2025 13:12

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 12:09

I’m struggling to believe that one bathroom houses are as common as is being made out. What an absurd proposition.

Even the ghastly shoe box new builds which have sprung up everywhere have at least two.

If I was to consider acquiring an older property with one bathroom, I’d certainly conduct due diligence on the ease at which a further one could be installed.

It’s 2025, goodness me.

God you sound exhausting. Not just controlling, but stuck up and completely out of touch with the real world.

AllKindsOfThingsAreInteresting · 21/06/2025 13:13

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 12:09

I’m struggling to believe that one bathroom houses are as common as is being made out. What an absurd proposition.

Even the ghastly shoe box new builds which have sprung up everywhere have at least two.

If I was to consider acquiring an older property with one bathroom, I’d certainly conduct due diligence on the ease at which a further one could be installed.

It’s 2025, goodness me.

According to figures in the 2018 English Housing Survey on the size of homes, 73% of homes in the survey had only one bathroom, while the remaining 27% had two or more. Based on the sample size surveyed, it is estimated that 17.6m households live with only one bathroom.

Shatteredallthetimelately · 21/06/2025 13:14

Whilst that was out of use, he was happy to relieve himself elsewhere each morning.

Probably the easier route for him to take.

Can't even take a shite in his own home.

Fireandwaters · 21/06/2025 13:15

Yawn. A poo troll who thinks MN users are all snobs. Reported

MsPavlichenko · 21/06/2025 13:18

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 12:09

I’m struggling to believe that one bathroom houses are as common as is being made out. What an absurd proposition.

Even the ghastly shoe box new builds which have sprung up everywhere have at least two.

If I was to consider acquiring an older property with one bathroom, I’d certainly conduct due diligence on the ease at which a further one could be installed.

It’s 2025, goodness me.

The last English housing survey done in 2018 had 73% of housing with only one bathroom. I doubt it’s changed significantly since then, or is different in other parts of the UK.

This doesn’t surprise me at all.

Coffeeishot · 21/06/2025 13:22

I imagine most of my street have just the 1 bathroom some have loft extensions so maybe an en suite but the majority is just the bathroom.

whynotwhatknot · 21/06/2025 13:31

this cant be real-you cant belive people only have one bathroom? i live in a 50s terraced house th4eres no room for an additional toilet

and what if he needs more than poo a day or has a stomach ache

Chazbots · 21/06/2025 13:32

Zebedee999 · 21/06/2025 12:33

Honestly I'd look at his diet. Sounds like too much UPF and not enough protein/fibre.

Show quote history

Definitely. I'd be adding fibre.

It's not good for him to be sent to poo on command...

Original poster
WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 13:34

It appears there has been some misinterpretation of my previous post. By more than bathroom, I am of course including a downstairs ‘loo’ in this description. We refer to ours as a bathroom given it’s extremely spacious by comparison of most downstairs ‘loo’s’ which we have frequented.

OP posts:
Loki64 · 21/06/2025 13:34

U sounds up ur arse.
And also controlling.

Bjorkdidit · 21/06/2025 13:34

OP, the first house I owned was a back to back that had been built with no inside toilet at all.

Some houses still had the old outside privvy in the garden although just about all of them had been converted into sheds.

However a neighbour still retained a functioning toilet in theirs. It was the joke on the street that the DH used to use it to shit in while he had a leisurely read of the papers.

Perhaps you should have an outside privvy for your DH to use, to prevent him getting any ideas about using one of the house toilets like a normal person?

ilovesooty · 21/06/2025 13:35

Italiangreyhound · 21/06/2025 12:26

There is no way I could,.l 'do my business' to order!

I'd buy an air freshener or open a window.

We all lived with one bathroom a few decades ago!

A lot of people still do. ETA I see you acknowledged that.
When I was a child my aunt had an outside toilet. I'm surprised the OP hasn't built one and banished her husband out there. In fact if I was him I'd consider building my own quarters in the garden rather than have to share a house with an abuser.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 21/06/2025 13:37

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 12:09

I’m struggling to believe that one bathroom houses are as common as is being made out. What an absurd proposition.

Even the ghastly shoe box new builds which have sprung up everywhere have at least two.

If I was to consider acquiring an older property with one bathroom, I’d certainly conduct due diligence on the ease at which a further one could be installed.

It’s 2025, goodness me.

Ah - this is where the OP jumps the shark (as they say in the US)

Fangisnotacoward · 21/06/2025 13:41

YABU, and I can't believe he's agreed to do it. If someone told me where I could have a crap, id tell them to jog on!

FWIW, I have one toilet and sometimes someone in the household does a smelly poo. Window open, fan on, bit of cleaner down the toilet and shut the door. Really nit a big deal.

whynotwhatknot · 21/06/2025 13:45

no we havent misinterpreted we know what you mean i still only have one toilet

HelpMeGetThrough · 21/06/2025 13:45

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 13:34

It appears there has been some misinterpretation of my previous post. By more than bathroom, I am of course including a downstairs ‘loo’ in this description. We refer to ours as a bathroom given it’s extremely spacious by comparison of most downstairs ‘loo’s’ which we have frequented.

I don’t think you could be any further up your own arse.

Purpleturtle43 · 21/06/2025 13:47

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 09:03

We technically have the en-suite too, but that has always been firmly out of bounds for anything but a shower!

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This is the most bizarre thing I have heard!

ilovesooty · 21/06/2025 13:48

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 13:34

It appears there has been some misinterpretation of my previous post. By more than bathroom, I am of course including a downstairs ‘loo’ in this description. We refer to ours as a bathroom given it’s extremely spacious by comparison of most downstairs ‘loo’s’ which we have frequented.

Most people don't have a downstairs toilet. Any reflection on your abusive behaviour yet?

Sadmummy3 · 21/06/2025 13:50

ItDoesntHaveToBeASnowman · 21/06/2025 10:40

How does he not find this embarrassing? Do men not care about this stuff?

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Don't know all men but he really doesn't care. At least at work there's is more than one toilet.
He just reckons it's a normal bodily function.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 21/06/2025 13:51

WarmDeer · 21/06/2025 13:34

It appears there has been some misinterpretation of my previous post. By more than bathroom, I am of course including a downstairs ‘loo’ in this description. We refer to ours as a bathroom given it’s extremely spacious by comparison of most downstairs ‘loo’s’ which we have frequented.

Most people don't have a "downstairs loo".

They have one bathroom that also contains the only toilet in the house.

But you know that.