It's gone 10pm and the neighbours are still making noise in the garden

[Donaldduck22]

My alarm goes off for a 12 hour shift in 7 hours. It's Thursday night. Why are some people so unbelievably inconsiderate.

Sorry but you can not expect others to revolve their life around your shift pattern.
what if a neighbour worked nights? Would the rest of the neighbours not be allowed to make noise all day because a night worker was sleeping?
My ex husband used to do nights and need to sleep most of the day -
the neighbours had this weird habit of moving plant pots around the garden (presumably chasing the sun), it makes a right racket..… the children the other side played out in their garden and screamed and splashed around in a paddling pool, the occasional dog barked….. unfortunately it is part and parcel of doing shift work and living on an estate.
I guess the other option is to politely ask them if they can be a little quieter as you have work at 5am…

How are you so sensitive to neighbours noise but can't hear your alarm through earplugs?

FWIW I agree with you. Perhaps gaslighting is the wrong term but I’d have been tempted to use it. The number of threads on MN that I read and think “surely this only has one answer” only to find that s whole host of people have managed to conjour up a polar opposite spin on what has actually been said in order to make the OP feel small and silly

I’m a very light sleeper and I hate noise.

problem is, you have to get up at 5am. Your neighbours don’t. So you have different needs.

but why do you expect that your need to get up at 5am means they aren’t allowed to enjoy their garden at 10pm?

you expecting your needs to be more important than their needs is really unreasonable.

my husband worked on Covid wards during 2020. He worked nights and tried to sleep in the day. It was hard for him to sleep because furloughed neighbours were hollering in their garden. Not once did he complain.

You know they will do absolutely nothing right?

It might be only 10pm but she has to be up at 5am for a 12 hour shift!!

Perhaps he should have done..

And the neighbour the other side might get in at 3am and be woken by her leaving at 5am!

We can't be silent and act like we don't exist 24/7 because someone near us might work at different times to us

Perhaps he should have done .. 😏

To be honest, it can get a bit like that round here. It's because the weather is nice, people want to drink and have BBQs. If it's a one off, I would try to get through it by using earplugs or maybe some relaxing music on your earphones if you have them? I know it's annoying, but sometimes you have to turn the other cheek.

Several people have asked but OP didn’t answer what the neighbours were doing.

Screeching? Loud music? Or just quietly talking?

You can’t demand absolute silence from your surrounding neighbours at times that suit your schedule.

My teen DC were so hot this evening that they had no appetite until about 10pm so we had a late (light) dinner. We actually ate inside tonight but it wouldn’t have been unreasonable to eat on the patio - so there would have been quiet chatting.

In many households, 10pm isn’t late although to be fair, it would be very unreasonable if a neighbour was blasting out loud music at that time on a weekday evening. Chatting though? Can’t see a problem.

I regularly work nights - and my noisy neighbours disturb me at 7am when they’re yelling at each other, clattering around, and banging the front door as they leave around 8am. That’s just life with close neighbours though 🤷‍♀️

Hope you got some sleep OP.

No one should be commenting on this without information as to whether it's a pattern, which you didn't bother to clarify. Everyone is entitled to an occasional party, if it's irrelevant if you happen to have an unusually early shift.

The cutoff is usually 11pm although if they're regularly blasting the tunes in the late evening this could be seen as antisocial.

Me too. I've just got in from work and it'll be light in an hour and neighbour above will be stomping around getting ready for work. Earplugs usually do the job and can still hear alarm.

I understand op, those of us having to wake up early could make just as much noise if we wanted to….

I would drop them a note explaining how tired you are with the very early starts and the heat. Could they keep the noise down mid week if possible in the garden. If they are decent people they will adjust their evenings or be more considerate.

Unfortunately people are generally clueless about the impact of their behaviour on others. They likely don’t give a shit.

Have you tried white noise? I use a free app called ‘Rain’. It drowns out the noise of inconsiderate assholes quite well.

This would annoy me too tbh. I do think most people are winding down at 10pm and making noise outside is inconsiderate at this time imo. I also wouldn’t wake up with ear plugs in and I agree with op that it is just inconsiderate and that at 10pm not on a weekend evening, people should start going indoors if it’s a big gathering!

I think as others have said as a one off it’s fine- they might be cooling off as it’s boiling inside.

After living in numerous house-shares and dodgy areas I taught myself how to sleep through any noise. It is achievable. Even if it’s 20 min napping it helps. I too worked 13 hour shifts and it had to be done.

Thankfully, I am self employed now and only start work when I want to which, now I am in my 50’s (and I am having night sweats) is around 10 to 11 am.

I am on holiday now and there is one little annoying bird who keeps waking me up at the crack of dawn. I use my technique of willing myself to sleep and it works.

10 pm is not late in the summer. The cut off is 11pm and just about acceptable midnight.

10pm is not late, it's still bright here at that time.
It's not your neighbours fault you have to be up at 5am.

Proper summer weather isn't that usual or remotely guaranteed, so people want to be outside enjoying it.

I think calling others inconsiderate for being <gasp> in their own gardens at 10pm is unreasonable. It is hardly a regular occurance is it. It will be pissing it down again next week.

I think on the whole, the British are intolerant to noise. For a nation who loves a garden it is quite odd there are so many posts on here complaining about how the neighbours are using theirs.

The OP didn't describe the kind of noise, just expressed her opposition to it and the fact she couldn't wear headphones. Years ago, I used to be frequently woken up around 4:30am by the next door neighbour getting ready for work, doors shutting, car starting etc. I find it laughable to think I could have complained about that. I lived with it until I moved.

Unless the noise is often and anti-social, let folk be.

Not necessarily.
I personaly could for example sleep through car/train noise/road, but people noise keeps me awake no matter how tired I am.

I had an issue with a noisy neighbur once and also missed alarms because of earplugs, mostly ebcause I was so exhausted going to bed late because of the noise so I get OPs anxiety they wont be able to wake up on time.

We sat in our garden until gone 10 last night. Music very very low and chatting quietly. I hope we didn’t disturb our neighbours. Nobody else was in their gardens around here. I find it odd!

It’s unusual to get the sort of weather where you can sit out that late without a hoody on. Even sunny days often have chilly evenings.

'Only' 10 o'clock?! For me, 10 o'clock is often bedtime. If the noise outside is just chatter, fair enough. But loud music or screaming kids is inconsiderate at that time. I'm an early riser. Would it be fair of me to mow my lawn at 6am because that's when I'd like to make the most of this sort of weather?