8 year old has to stay in to study

[Swimmingwithoutfloats]

My Dd, 7 has a best friend on the road who she loves to play with. They often play together some weekends and occasionally in the evenings in summer.
He hasn’t been able to play out at our house or his due to tests at school.
Every time my Dd has knocked on, he’s said he has to stay in because there are tests at school at the moment and he has to do work. He loves very sad
Its been beautiful weather and Dd and another friend on the street have invited him for bike rides or to play on the trampoline or to swim in the pool and he isn’t allowed.
He stays fairly late at school, then goes to clubs/football etc, comes home, does homework and goes to bed.

Often at the weekend, he says he can’t play and sits in doing video games

Aibu to wonder why he can’t just play with his friends and be a child?

You have been told that he is not allowed to play out during these tests so stop bothering him. He'll play during the holidays.

Some parents like to control every inch of their children's life. There is no time to just "be a child" with unstructured play. I agree with you OP- I think imaginary play is really important and so do all leading child psychologists. But for some parents it's only performance that counts and unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it. But it's really sad.

He goes to clubs, and will have friends there, he goes to school and will have friends there. Aside from the fact you can't possibly know his every move and he may well go to other house or have people at his.

Stop feeling sorry for a kid who sounds like he has a pretty well balanced life.

I wouldnt let my 8 year old play i the atreet or walk around and knock for other children and they do have to stay in and study or just be indoors.
The parents might be fed up of your dd knocking all the time and want him to stay in for many reasons.
My 11 year old is just starting to be allowed out like that.
You don't know the experiences of the parents that have led them to be cautious.
The kid might well end up with fantastic grades and an amazing life where he can do what he wants as an adult as he has bags of money through his studying!!

You are so invested in this child, you’re starting to sound a bit creepy, tbh.
You have no idea what his life is like, all you actually know is that his parents don’t want him running round the streets unsupervised.
Maybe just accept this??

yeah, this too. Lots of 8 year olds aren't allowed out but it's easier to make excuses.

DD always says her friend wants to be out and about more, but she doesn't seem to be suffering for it really.

She isn’t helping how?

Why do people say this.. mumsnet wouldn't exist if we all said well none of my business, it's a bloody chat forum.. people can post wondering about many things that aren't their business. I don't think the op said she's going over to the parents to ask them

He isn’t he has mentioned a few times how much he hates school as it all has to be perfect and how tired he is

He speaks to your dd an awful lot for a kid who isn't allowed to socialise.

Why don't you mention it to the parents?Start with how important you think imaginary play and unstructured time is for their son.

100% agree, he’s still so young, it’s so much pressure, let them be kids

They don’t play on the streets
All the other children work hard at school and do some clubs too, but they’re also allowed to be kids while they can. I’m sure my Dd will go on to lead a great life too with time spent being free as a child too

Nobody is ‘Running around the streets unsupervised’ they are kids, from 5-9 years old. They play at each others homes, in the garden, in the pool, riding bikes, it’s fantastic.

It’s not creepy at all, I just feel for him. I know the family very well, they have been friends since they were toddlers. The family are nice, but it’s so much pressure and i’ve seen him change from a fun, silly boy to an anxious, sad looking boy with no energy

Exactly 💓

Academically speaking.

It's not how I'd choose to parent, but it's up to them. They are obviously prioritising his education and focussing on entrance exams right now. It might not be what you'd choose but it's hardly illegal.

He has said it when at our house, he does come over, but all very strict and nowhere near as much as the other children and my friends kids

This really has nothing to do with you, I hate this let kids be kids when alot of what you know comes from your daughter.
Do not judge them for thier parenting style just because it is different from yours. Maybe they do not want there son mixing with children of judgemental gossips.
Leave them alone and let them get in with their lives, in their own way.

I agree. If the OP is right here that is incredibly sad and awful for this poor child’s development. People saying “it’s up to the parents” well obviously it is, but it’s not good for children to be kept inside and/or shepherded from one activity to another. And it’s good for people to point this out and highlight it.

This is it, just a bit sad, he’s a lovely boy

When we was kids my sisters friend was like this she had to do all her home work plus more studying for test etc.
Her parents tested her at home for gcse at 12.
Long story short.
Guess who is now a top lawyer and doing bloody well for her self married no kids living the dream.
And guess whos a factory worker with 2 kids divorced now has a new partner and always moaning.

You just know that if OP had come on here and posted instead that a neighbour’s kid kept knocking on her DC’s door wanting them to come and play when they were supposed to be studying for those very important tests that 8yos do at the end of June - all the posters would have been on here saying for pete’s sake can’t you let the poor child go out and play!

Being a lawyer and single is not necessarily everyone’s idea of ‘Living the dream’
I’m sure all the other children won’t end up working in a factory (not that there’s anything wrong with that) just because they’re allowed to be kids and enjoy life.
Equally this boy’s life could go the opposite way, be may rebel against it all…you just don’t know

Sorry, read again…’Married, no kids, living the dream’ Isn’t necessarily everyone’s idea of living the dream

Are there school entrance tests in June? It’s too late for school tests. This is the parents controlling who dc plays with.