Why would this man ask my daughter to move out of his way?

[justactingmyshoesize]

I was in a supermarket with my 10 year old dd and we walked over to the reduced fridge and I asked dd if she could see anything in there she fancied so she went over to have a look and a man walked over and looked at my daughter looking and said excuse me and expected her to move aside so he could look, she looked uncomfortable and stepped aside.

I said quite politely I think my daughter was just looking first but he ignored me and so I said quite loudly to my daughter “ you didn’t need to move out of his way as you were there first and so could continue looking but the man didn’t allow her space to until he had finished looking. It was as if my daughter was of no consequence at all.
I explained to my daughter she didn’t need to move out of his way but in the situation he didn’t give her a lot of choice.

It's hard to know without seeing, but I feel that saying excuse me in that context is ok. If I was standing in front of a supermarket shelf and someone else came along I would stand aside to allow them to look too, and not be bothered if they said excuse me.

I agree with this ^

Yes I agree with PPs that if I wanted to access a fridge and there was a child blocking it, I would say ‘excuse me’ as my assumption would be that they are just idly browsing or standing there and my intention is to actually choose something efficiently to buy and get out of there. Couldn’t she just have moved to the side anyway? Perhaps he didn’t intend for her to move completely out of the way, but just move to accommodate him in addition to her, which is just good manners generally.

I wonder if your daughter’s discomfort was more due to what followed, as I can’t imagine someone politely saying ‘excuse me’ would cause anyone any real discomfort. Most people would just automatically shift or move to allow another person access.

I would also assume this. But also, the reduced fridge in the supermarket I shop in is an entire fridge section/unit, so big enough for two (or even three if one is at a bit of an adjacent angle and not directly in front) adults to stand side-by-side and look in. If she was standing centrally and taking up the entire space, could he have meant for her to move up so they can both stand there and look at the same time, as opposed to wanting her to move completely out the way of the fridge? It does my head in when people block the entire thing while perusing what item to get at the rate paint dries when with a bit of logic everyone can get what they want and move on with their shop quickly.

You can spot the people on here who don’t know how the reduced items system works. It’s first dibs on all the good stuff, so him asking her to move was indeed against all protocol as that means he pushed in and potentially got something good that the DD was about to choose.

And it’s funny how the man didn’t react or say “sorry didn’t realise you were choosing something, I thought you were just passing the time” when OP was telling her child she should have stood her ground.

I worked in a supermarket for 10 years and there's a weird subdivision of people who are like competitive whoopsie purchasers. They circle around for ages waiting to see one of the staff start reducing things, at which point it can almost become physically violent as they try to get in front of anyone else.

Just be thankful your daughter was asked to move and didn't get an elbow smash to the face.

Ok but it’s a one door fridge and only one person can get to the shelf at a time and she was looking and by him saying excuse me just meant that he was there instead of her and when I said she could still look he wouldn’t make room for her to do so which shows he just wanted her to let him in and wait until he’d finished then she could continue her turn.
I would look very rude if I said excuse me and expected someone who was looking to come out and let me go first.
People usually stand behind the person looking until they go and they can get there.

You'd hope there'd be enough space for two customers to stand fairly near eachother each looking in the same fridge. Without one asking the other to move.
It sounds rude, but she may have been kind of blocking off the whole section.

I know what people can be like with the reduced section. Pushing fighting to get to food snatching off other people. I wouldn’t have a child of mine looking there without me by their side.

It’s a really a none issue. She was in the way, not in charge of buying the shopping and he wanted to see what was reduced. He said ‘excuse me’. You sound like you’re really entitled.

Why would you leave your child standing in front of a hot drinks machine?!

All the people who would assume a child looking at products in a shop, isn't there to purchase anything - perhaps don't assume? Some children are young carers and shop independently from a young age. They deserve the same respect as adults 👍

He's just being a typical jerkmale and thinking we are inferior to him. You can't really do much about it except take heart when a man loses out to a woman.

I would absolutely ask a child to move out of the way if I needed something off the shelf. Or anyone really - if they're just standing there looking and I know what I want. But see in the responses that there's some understanding of the reduced section in some stores that means I'd be incorrect.

I stopped bringing my kids to the grocery store for the most part as they'd just wander around getting into people's ways and it was annoying for me - so much more annoying for people just trying to get their food sorted. I would have no issue with anyone asking my children to politely move aside so the person with the actual spending power can reach something without getting weirdly close to my child.

I will remember your words then and next time I go shopping and there’s people in my way at the reduced section, I’ll just say excuse me and expect them to move out the way.
My daughter is just as entitled to get something out of the fridge when I’ve said she can as anyone else.

I would also have assumed they were just bored and not actually looking to buy, as 10 year olds aren't usually the ones doing the shop.. was she blocking the fridge while looking? More than one person can usually look at the same time, but some people stand right in the middle and don't allow anyone else to look, I say excuse me to those ones too.

It is also annoying when kids/husbands/wives are obviously just there for moral support (?) when shopping and decide to stand in the way ALL THE TIME.

JUST STAND TO THE SIDE!!

He was polite so I don't really see the problem.

Same. You're completely overthinking this.

He wasn't rude to politely say excuse me but maybe a bit rude for ignoring you.

This is a complete non-event.

No, you’re completely missing the point.

It is also annoying when kids/husbands/wives are obviously just there for moral support (?) when shopping and decide to stand in the way ALL THE TIME.

God, yes. Just move.

I agree with this, would your daughter at 10 years of age, really know a good deal in the reduced section, some of the stuff in there looks quite battered about, sometimes the meat doesn't look that great.

I always move over if someone else approaches as there's enough room for 2 people.

I wouldn't think a 10yo was doing much apart from getting in the way so I would also say "excuse me". There's usually enough room for two people to stand next to each other and look through the fridge so asking her to move is fine. Sometimes people just want to crack on with their errands.

Good on you saying that to your daughter. She was there first, he should have waited a few mins.

Total non event. He said excuse me. Move on.