Loud sex

[Lala721]

Ok so new neighbours just moved In .. it’s a sunny day as you know everyone has windows open they decided to maybe christen the house by having really loud sex .. ok fair enough they are having fun .and then again just now full on screaming and crying ( her ,you get the idea ) he’s obviously slapping her ass as you can hear everything as the windows are open and so
are all the neighbour’s .. tbh I feel pissed off I don’t want to hear it .. oh God they’re doing it again .. I can’t not have the windows open am I being a knob ??

How do I approach this should I ask them to keep the noise down ?

Cheer and clap loudly from your garden when they're done. They'll quickly realise they can be heard

They know

Commentate!
Shout things like, if she's crying you've got the wrong hole mate, or Ride 'em Cowboy YEEEHAW, or if she enjoys it that much, start an only fans you must be hung like horse etc etc
Or just laugh very loudly. Or play the Yaketty Sax music from Benny Hill loudly.
Or phone a friend (or pretend to) and say "can you hear this? Good Grief it's like Game of Thrones/Magic Mike/film of your choice in there"
They'll soon stop. Or at least keep it down.

We had neighbours like this once, they seemed to be so proud of the fact people could hear them and their amazing sex. I vote that you loud play some off-putting music

My friend went round to her neighbour and politely asked them to keep the noise down, when they are having sex.

It worked. I was blown away by my friend doing this, good for her!

Baby shark!

I'd literally say exactly what you wrote "fair enough they are having fun and then again just now full on screaming and crying"
Next time you see them say this ^ and add that you've got second hand embarrassment for them. Then watch them squirm.

My song vote would be ‘Je t’aime’ loudly 😆

I used to live in a block of flats and on a warm sunny night, we heard a woman upstairs having a VERY loud orgasm. I was good friends with my neighbour and he asked if it was me?! I said I didn’t have to fake it 😁😁😁 it was cringey to hear!

I'm in a HMO. The walls are paper thin and the lad next door seems to have moved his girlfriend in even though the rooms are single occupancy.
Two weekends ago they thought it was appropriate for me to listen to them banging away. So I left my room obviously pretty annoyed and went down to the kitchen for a bit.
They soon got the message afew and hours later around 2am when I put my music on loudly and had a very good sing song even though I'm absolutely tone deaf.

I’d just yell loudly in your best posh voice ( “We can all hear everything, please keep the noise down”.
I agree they are enjoying being performative. Go right back at them.

"That sounds fun. May we all come and join you?"
Or
"You're not very good at that are you?"

Why is it always the case on Mumsnet that every poster bristles and recoils at the notion of noisy sex , and strongly advises people to retaliate with petty loud music etc..

But we never see this same energy when it comes to other noisy neighbour disputes?

Is there something about this particular sound which sets off righteous rage here?

I mean @Lala721 you really broke down in detail the crying and slapping etc… as if the type of noisy sex they were having was offensive

What is it with Mumsnet? So many prudes, so little time.

Play Father Ted’s My Lovely Horse very loudly on repeat.

Or shout, ‘SHE’S FAKING IT’ really loudly, or ‘WRONG HOLE, TREVOR’.

I would ignore it once or twice. Third or fourth time I'd have to say something.

Maybe because we don’t want our kids listening to x rated material. How prudish of us.

@WonderingWanda definitely agadoo by black lace.....🤣🤣

Put the Baby Shark song on repeat very loudly.

I'm loving all the song suggestions and am now thinking mini disco mega mix. You could throw in Gangnam and The Cha Cha slide!

Really? I’ve seen plenty of threads where people get told to aim a speaker against the shared wall blasting something like opera and go out all day. The only time I’ve seen people say not to do this is when the noise involves children with SEN who make noise.

The other reason is, sex is a private thing. We are taught from a young age that are sexual body parts are private. We are taught sex is not a public act. We have laws against people having sex in public. So strangely enough, no one wants to hear these private acts in public. The same as going to the toilet. It’s private. No one wants to see or hear their neighbours having a shit either. If the neighbour was in his loo with the window open straining and groaning then saying what an amazing shit he was having I think people would suggest music as well!

Do you think sex and masturbation should be allowed in public? Is that why you think everyone who doesn’t want to hear other people doing it are prudes?

Change the name of your Wi-Fi to “we can all hear you spanking each other”?

You honestly think your kids are never going to hear you at it and realise what you're doing? Unless of course you use a ball gag...

Record it and play it back to them whilst they are still at it! Imagine the confusion when they hear it

We had next door neighbours like this in our old house - the one night after much shouting and panting we heard him exclaim “Jesus Christ Pauline, where did you learn to do that?!”