Loud sex

[Lala721]

Ok so new neighbours just moved In .. it’s a sunny day as you know everyone has windows open they decided to maybe christen the house by having really loud sex .. ok fair enough they are having fun .and then again just now full on screaming and crying ( her ,you get the idea ) he’s obviously slapping her ass as you can hear everything as the windows are open and so
are all the neighbour’s .. tbh I feel pissed off I don’t want to hear it .. oh God they’re doing it again .. I can’t not have the windows open am I being a knob ??

Honestly my kids have never heard me. It's possible to be quiet for gods sake. Your poor kids having to listen to you!!

Back in the early 60s my whole class of 12 and 13 year olds were quite open about hearing their parents "at it" so much so that I started trying to hear mine but I never did.

Play cbeebies theme tunes on loud

Play Shaggy, sleeping with the girl next door. I think I'd probably shout something witty

I would be playing 'Sex Bomb' on loud! 🤣

LOL!

We were enjoying lunch in the garden, next door had their bedroom window open and then the loud exaggerated sex noises started. It lasted all of 30 seconds! We were in hysterics, and haven’t heard a peep since!

I do hope someone shouted, quick as a flash, "Number 32!"

Change your Wi-Fi network name to ‘WeCanHearYouHavingSex’

Or ‘lets do it like they do on the discovery channel’. My favourite line is ‘love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket !!’

I always remember that scene from sex and the city when Samantha sits there watching them and he ask her to join

@MsDDxx

It's very very weird that you are defending the anti social behaviour. Very weird.

But seriously just drop a polite note or go round and say they are loud

Given they are new neighbours, I'd nip it in the bud and shout "we can hear you and really rather wouldn't, thanks".

Thank you. You’re absolutely right. That previous poster is disgusting.

@Maowt We have laws against people having sex in public.

Actually, we don't. We have laws which can be used to prosecute - Outraging Public Decency, usually - but it's not a law against having sex in public. It's a law against upsetting people. Which means that the case isn't about whether or not sex took place, but about whether two or more people were outraged. If no one gives a damn, you can have sex in Sainsbury's.

This is why dogging is not, per se, illegal. Nerve-wracking, I imagine, but not criminal.

That is disgusting. No. Children should not hear or be exposed to sights or sounds of their parents having sex. If
you allow this to happen, you need a serious think about your life choices and morals.

The Hokey Cokey! In out in out and shake it all about!!!!!

When me and DP moved in at 19, we got a note from our lovely old neighbour that said “I can hear you shutting the kitchen cupboard when you have your late night snack, imagine what else I can hear.” I was fucking mortified. We actually got on with her really well but I couldn’t look her in the eye for a week, pretty sure the poor woman heard DD being conceived.

I’d go round and tell them they woke your baby, and your children have been asking you questions about what they heard

Ride of the Valkyries would be apt.

'The Ride of the Valkyries' might be a good one. Altogether now, 'Ho-jo-TOH-HOH, Ho-jo-TOH-HOH! Heiaha! Heiaha!'

🤢🤢🤢🤢

😂

Great idea - maybe make a playlist to accompany them. Start with the Funeral March then introduce Terry Wogan singing The Floral Dance. Speed it up with Riverdance, then Flight of the Bumble Bees and end with the cannons in the finale of the 1812 Overture.

Anyone else missing the laugh emoji? there are some hilarious replies on here. I had neighbours like this once, he was silent but she would gasp, scream and yell. Then they got married, had a baby and it stopped