That phone call that changed my life

[Toilichte]

Inspired by another thread on here. 3 years ago I was in a deeply unhappy relationship, I posted on here a lot at the time. Finally one day I was brave enough to fill in an online form on a solicitor website that Google threw up. I hadn’t done any research into the firm, didn’t know what I was doing, just knew I was unhappy, venting to mumsnet and things needed to change.

I had a conversation with a solicitor, it hadn’t been my plan that morning. He called me after I put in the form. He was so kind, and on it. He made the process seem so clear. I was worried about ownership of my dog- he didn’t think that was silly or the wrong thing to focus on. He just gave me excellent advice.

I wasn’t married, and so actually the process was quite simple. I never engaged his services. I just had that conversation which let me know the lay of the land and that was it.

I don’t think he knows that he changed my life, and I will be forever grateful. Probably one of a million conversations he’s had on the same vein, but for me that conversation means the world.

You should let him know. I did similar 20 + years after someone had been particularly diligent whist doing their job, and saved me so much heartache. She was just about to retire and was so pleased that I'd let her know the impact she had on my life.

That's so good to hear @Toilichte . Have you ever contacted him to let him know? There's a programme on Radio 4 on a Saturday morning where they have a slot where people thank a stranger (I think) who has helped them.

I had a similar phone call in a similar vein. When my husband left I phoned Women's Aid just to ask for recommendations for solicitors who would 'be on the woman's side', not realising I was in need of their support too. I hadn't realised the load I was carrying until I wasn't and until it was pointed out to me, gently ❤

I didn’t ever let them know. I am now thinking I should write an email of thanks this afternoon.

@Bunniesnotbullies mine would be WA too. I rang asking for help post separation as there was an incident which had police involvement and they suggested it. Due to Covid, nothing much happened until a couple of years later. I had moved and was contacted by a different organisation and offered a place on their version of the Freedom Program.

Doing that course changed everything for me. It enabled me to make sense of things and move on from the abuse. Life is good now.

That's good to hear @unsync . I do think to have support from people who understand how abuse works, and the effects it can have on survivors, is invaluable.

I did this. I thanked a surgeon that had performed fairly groundbreaking surgery on me and the results were excellent and changed my life. 20 years on I wrote to thank him. He was delighted. Said he spoke of this operation often in conferences etc.

Vaguely similar, my DSis died suddenly and her death went to the coroner. The coroner’s officer was the loveliest man ever, he had the loveliest Irish accent and was so kind. He made a truly awful situation so much easier.

I had to buy someone out of a house we inherited together but didn't think I'd be able to afford it due to being in debt because of a previous emotionally/financially abusive relationship and less than great credit record. A lovely man at London and Country listened to my situation, found me a manageable mortgage, and helped me get back on the property ladder. He may think he's just a mortgage broker but he changed my life.

I’m glad you’re letting him know! I looked up and wrote to a woman who delivered training for a random volunteering activity I did nearly thirty years ago- it led to a complete and satisfying career change.

It wasn't a phone call. And it didn't change my life, but when my dad was on his death bed we had a knock at the door. It was the local bocar who had heard that my dad was dying, amd came to offer his help.
My mum thanked him but said we weren't religious. He said thay we were part of his flock and that it didn't matter.
I don't know why, bit his kindness just blew me away. I've never forgotten it.

Fantastic OP
Enjoy your future happiness and peace of mind

Did you take your ddog op? I had to leave mine behind.. It nearly broke me. But staying was killing me.

Local vicar,even!

These are lovely (even if the situation that led to it was anything but).

If you can, do let the person know the difference they made. You never know, your email / phone call may make a huge difference to them too. Even if it doesn't, it is always nice to be thanked.

I had to leave my cats behind when I left my ex. The cat that never, ever, sat on anyone's lap, sat on mine as I was waiting for the phonecall from my solicitors to say my new flat was mine. It was awful. I wish I'd been able to take her, but the place I moved to wasn't safe for her.

As soon as I moved to another place where it was safer I got a rescue cat within a week!

In no way do I regret leaving, but I so wish I could have taken that cat!

Not as drastic as your story OP, but I took a speculative call from a recruitment agent one day. No idea how she had my mobile number, but I was having a really shit day, in the middle of nowhere and was really miserable. Something made me say to her "I can't talk now, but do you have time this evening?".

She called me back around 7pm and gave me such good advice. I started job hunting the following week, though she worked in an entirely different sector and couldn't actually help me. I ended up finding the job I'm in now, where I've risen and now own 50% of the business.

She definitely doesn't know how she changed the path of my career, but I'm forever grateful for that cold call!

30 years ago I arrived at the railway station in Newcastle. I was smart, well dressed, but for complicated reasons I had left home with nothing but the bag I was carrying. A man approached me asking for spare change, and I apologised and said no. He smiled and said no problem, and then chatted to me with immense kindness and helped me find a taxi, and just feel a little bit less desolate and alone. Thanks to him.

A good post. We should all say thank you more often even if it’s much later.

I suffered from depression, lost my job, was getting evicted, so decided to end it all. I had a date set for when I was gonna do it.

On that day, a friend (who didn't know any of this) messaged me asking if I would like to live with him free of charge because he was lonely living by himself.

He doesn't know that he saved my life by doing that

I work in public service and sometimes through our job we can change lives, or do things that mean someone can be at a parents bedside / funeral. Other times it’s smaller stuff. But when we receive feedback, it means so much. Makes all those hard days worthwhile.

I can’t think of anything but this thread is lovely.

Nothing to add just wanted to say I’m really enjoying reading these - what a lovely thread!

I saw the same counsellor through work 3 times. Always about the same bully...a petite woman...I'm also female but on the larger side...the optics didn't help. Anyway she told me that only one person can change this...on the 3rd occasion I made the decision I had to leave. When I got a new job and was leaving I range her to tell her and to thank her. She was delighted and grateful to know as often times she never got to hear the end of peoples story.

I had a hideous situation in work where a colleague was sending me creepy unwanted emails, and my bosses were refusing to take it seriously, and I was just kind of putting up with it but I was petrified. I eventually went to my GP and she sat and read every single email from him, and told me to go to the police and that she would be signing me off work until it was fully dealt with. I felt so utterly vindicated and relieved and will be forever grateful to her.

There was a coroner who was lovely when my DM died too. My DM wanted to donate her body to students studying medicine at the hospital that had done so much for her while she was alive. Because she died at home, there would usually be a post mortem, which would have meant the hospital couldn’t take her body (sorry if this is TMI; basically they need the body very quickly after death, and a post mortem would have taken too long). I explained all this to the coroner who listened to me through my sobs, and then agreed — as they have discretion — not to conduct a post mortem in this instance. It meant so much to me and the rest of our family. I sent him a card afterwards to thank him, and he sent me the loveliest email.

This is a lovely thread, OP.

I was out shopping in M&s one day, saw these 2 older ladies together, all well made up and dressed smart with a little bit of make up on. They were happily chatting away and as I passed them I complimented them on how well turned out they both were and that they looked great. Totally spur of the moment thing.

Well you would have thought I gave them £1000 they were just delighted and thanked me profusely as it had made their day!