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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That phone call that changed my life

153 replies

Toilichte · 17/06/2025 11:04

Inspired by another thread on here. 3 years ago I was in a deeply unhappy relationship, I posted on here a lot at the time. Finally one day I was brave enough to fill in an online form on a solicitor website that Google threw up. I hadn’t done any research into the firm, didn’t know what I was doing, just knew I was unhappy, venting to mumsnet and things needed to change.

I had a conversation with a solicitor, it hadn’t been my plan that morning. He called me after I put in the form. He was so kind, and on it. He made the process seem so clear. I was worried about ownership of my dog- he didn’t think that was silly or the wrong thing to focus on. He just gave me excellent advice.

I wasn’t married, and so actually the process was quite simple. I never engaged his services. I just had that conversation which let me know the lay of the land and that was it.

I don’t think he knows that he changed my life, and I will be forever grateful. Probably one of a million conversations he’s had on the same vein, but for me that conversation means the world.

OP posts:
KBay75 · 17/06/2025 20:11

I was a 19 year old student, from a poor family, chambermaiding at weekends but I had a dream. I wanted to go and work on an American summer camp. I busted my gut raising the money to enable me to go, worked hard on my application, got excellent references and had to go to several interviews to be approved.

I had to have a medical form completed, so I went to the GP who said she’d complete it but it would cost £10. I was an awful lot of money, money I didn’t have, but I was desperate to go.

She asked all about my trip, including how it was being funded. Which was from my weekend job, I was from a single parent family and we lived on a council estate, I had no one to contribute but me. She wished me well and told me to pick the form up from reception the next day.

When I picked it up there was a note wishing me good luck and no charge -I nearly cried!!

I sent her a card 20 years later (better late than never) saying what I wonderful summer I’d had and how I never forgot her kindness.

cinnamongirl123 · 17/06/2025 20:18

PauliesWalnuts · 17/06/2025 16:52

I had to buy someone out of a house we inherited together but didn't think I'd be able to afford it due to being in debt because of a previous emotionally/financially abusive relationship and less than great credit record. A lovely man at London and Country listened to my situation, found me a manageable mortgage, and helped me get back on the property ladder. He may think he's just a mortgage broker but he changed my life.

It was a mortgage broker who changed my life too! They can work magic!

randoname · 17/06/2025 20:27

Devonshiregal · 17/06/2025 19:49

This sounds like an interesting story, if you’d like to share

It’s not fascinating but I really can pinpoint my complete change in direction from that one training!
I was a secondary school teacher on maternity leave and did some peer to peer support training for new mothers with pnd. A sort of pre Mumsnet helpline and meet ups. We learned about boundaries and active listening, as well as safeguarding. I’m now work for a charity and use those skills every day- I started as a support worker and trained up, got qualified and accredited all from that four mornings of training in 2000.

WisePearlPoet · 17/06/2025 20:29

Not a single phone call as such but a series. Fabulous safeguarding Social Worker who I first spoke to the day after my grandchild was removed by the police from her home. Then 12 months of sheer hard work and dedication on her part to ensure our gc remained with us with the concluding phone call happening after we had gained residency in court. I will be grateful to her until the day I die

AgeingDoc · 17/06/2025 20:34

Mine was a face to face conversation.
I'd not long returned to work after mat leave after my youngest child, my middle child was in and out of hospital being investigated for a potentially serious condition, my Mum was dying and I was being bullied significantly by a couple of my colleagues. I was at breaking point really. One night as I was leaving work quite late, I saw that the Chief Executive's office door was ajar and I knocked on it, went in and told her everything.
It's one of very few times in my career that I felt that anyone in senior management actually cared and I suspect that had I just carried on walking to my car that night instead of knocking on the door I would not have lasted much longer in medicine.

Igotbluetoothinmybra · 17/06/2025 20:42

This thread gives so much faith in humanity <3 and makes me regret not thanking my person.
Mine was not a phone call but an email. For years I worked on a freelance basis for a large organisation. Then an in-house position came up which I got - couldn't believe my luck! Little did I know my husband to be was going to start his new job there on the same day. We were both included on an email written by the elderly man from HR who ran induction courses for new staff twice a year: the next course happened to be starting next week, he hoped that we would join the course and strongly encouraged us to stay after the course and eat with the other participants, to get to know each other informally too. Now I'm super shy and felt like I already knew enough people from having freelanced there, so I kind of scoffed to myself and thought I'll just make a swift exit... but on the first day of the course I remembered his strong encouragements and stayed for lunch, and got chatting to my husband! I'd clocked futute DH from afar, but without this written encouragement I would probably have never dared to hang around and would have scuttled off alone. We've been together nearly 10 years now and have 2 kids. And a couple met at our wedding who are now getting married and having kids. The writer of the email retired when I was on my first maternity leave and I meant to email him with our story but I didn't, and then very sadly he died soon after. Then I bottled out of contacting his wife with the story, worrying I would be bothering her, and I regret that. This thread makes me wonder if I should try and reach out to tell her the impact her husband made on our lives...

mathanxiety · 17/06/2025 20:43

Glad you're planning to let him know, and very happy that things are better for you now.

Carriemac · 17/06/2025 20:46

I phoned my GP practice to get a sick note when my brother was involved in a fatal accident abroad . I was supporting my parents and sister in law and his children as we were sorting repatriating his body and funeral etc. a young GP registrar listened to me , agreed to a sick note , and then asked me ‘who’s looking after you ?’
it was the first time I broke down and realised I need to sleep and rest too, he gave me some sleeping pills and asked me to come in for grief counselling when I was ready . He saved me and was so kind I’ll never forget him

Arraminta · 17/06/2025 20:48

Thanks to peri menopausal anxiety and depression, I was in a very, very dark place. I think it's a place that, sadly, a lot of people don't come back from.

My GP didn't know what to do with me. The Crisis Team didn't know what to do with me. The NHS psychiatrist wanted to put me on anti psychotics and fry my brain with ECT.

Then I happened across the website of a consultant who specialised in hormonal mood disorders. I immediately recognised my symptoms in the case works he described. Two weeks later, I sat in his rooms just off Harley Street, when he assured me I wasn't losing my mind and that he was going to cure me. And he did.

I honestly think he saved my life and I'm grateful to him every single day.

Sosigsandwich · 17/06/2025 20:50

Igotbluetoothinmybra · 17/06/2025 20:42

This thread gives so much faith in humanity <3 and makes me regret not thanking my person.
Mine was not a phone call but an email. For years I worked on a freelance basis for a large organisation. Then an in-house position came up which I got - couldn't believe my luck! Little did I know my husband to be was going to start his new job there on the same day. We were both included on an email written by the elderly man from HR who ran induction courses for new staff twice a year: the next course happened to be starting next week, he hoped that we would join the course and strongly encouraged us to stay after the course and eat with the other participants, to get to know each other informally too. Now I'm super shy and felt like I already knew enough people from having freelanced there, so I kind of scoffed to myself and thought I'll just make a swift exit... but on the first day of the course I remembered his strong encouragements and stayed for lunch, and got chatting to my husband! I'd clocked futute DH from afar, but without this written encouragement I would probably have never dared to hang around and would have scuttled off alone. We've been together nearly 10 years now and have 2 kids. And a couple met at our wedding who are now getting married and having kids. The writer of the email retired when I was on my first maternity leave and I meant to email him with our story but I didn't, and then very sadly he died soon after. Then I bottled out of contacting his wife with the story, worrying I would be bothering her, and I regret that. This thread makes me wonder if I should try and reach out to tell her the impact her husband made on our lives...

Ah please do, I bet she would be thrilled.

Goldenpatchwork · 17/06/2025 21:03

Always say thank you. That person gave if their time and expertise with kindness.

ClowningArounds · 17/06/2025 21:03

Mine is not my story but my grandfather's. He grew up in a poor rural Lancashire town, and left school at 14 with bad marks and no prospects. He mainly liked spending time at the local youth club playing table tennis. One day he won a local table tennis tournament and the man who presented the prize was a successful local businessman. He asked my grandfather what his plan was and on hearing it wasn't much, said to him 'Go to night school. That's what I did and it's made me what I am'. My grandfather made a decision that day. He went to night school, travelling hours each day after work, and qualified as an accountant. He had a very successful career, travelled the world and provided a very good life for his family. Many years later he ran in to the businessman again and told him what a difference those words made. Both of them were in tears by the end of the conversation.

AngelinaFibres · 17/06/2025 21:03

I joined a dating agency in 1999. Long before the Internet existed. Each month I was sent 2 profiles of possible dates (Written details but no photos). One month one of the profiles sounded nice so I rang the agency and asked them to send my profile to him. He was a dentist in Solihul and it turned out that he didn't want to meet anyone with children. I had 2 young sons . Because he'd rejected me I was allowed another profile. That profile belonged to the man who turned out to be the loveliest man I'd ever met. He's been my husband for 22 years now . He is a brilliant extra- dad and a fabulous grandad . So I guess I owe a huge debt of thanks to the dentist in Solihul who didn't like the idea of a woman with children. He set my life off towards the fabulous jollity it is now without ever meeting me.

Lovelyweatherbluesky · 17/06/2025 21:04

Not a phone call but a knock on my neighbour’s door when DH had a cardiac arrest. I would forever be grateful to Claire who saved my husband life; she performed CPR while emergency came and was on the phone with the emergency services all the time.

I was 37 weeks pregnant and DH came out of the hospital one day before DD1 was born. DD1 is 18 now and we have DD2 who is 14.

Noisecomplaint · 17/06/2025 21:08

zingally · 17/06/2025 18:12

You should contact them and tell them.

About 10 years ago, I had eye surgery to correct a squint. Something that had got in the way of my self-esteem for most of my life.
I was probably one of hundreds of similar operations my surgeon had done - real bread and butter sort of work for an eye surgeon - but it changed my life.
After my healing was complete, and I felt the benefit, I wrote him a card to say thank you.

From start to finish, the whole process cost me about £23 in carpark fees.
God bless the NHS.

I also had squint surgery after years of suffering.

I couldn’t have thanked the surgeon enough. Life changing!

Ariela · 17/06/2025 21:13

My father was in the RAF at the tail end of the war and ended up peace keeping in Italy. There was nothing to do, so he (grammar school) set up a school for those privates interested in learning to better their maths and English, many had come straight from school having left without taking exams.

Many years later he had a letter he cherished from a gentleman who wrote to thank him for teaching in the 'school' in Italy, because he came home, took exams and worked his way up to a really good job, from which he'd just retired early and was able to enjoy looking after his grandchildren rather than worrying about money.

keeponmovingdontstop · 17/06/2025 21:15

Not a phone call but words in person from a stranger.

I care for my profoundly disabled young adult DC. It is 24/7 care, 365 days a year, I do it on my own and have done for over 20 years now. I want to stress that I am grateful to be a mum and there is a lot of love, but almost every day is also challenging, exhausting and lonely. Life has not turned out as I had hoped or expected, I have had to give up almost everything of myself, I fear terribly for my DC's future if I am no longer here to provide a home and care, and it is sometimes a struggle to carry on. Unless we are being stared at, we often seem invisible.

One day quite recently I had taken my DC for a walk. We were on quite a narrow path in the countryside and I moved us to one side and waited to allow an elderly couple to pass. They were the only people we saw that day. The man stopped and spoke very quietly to me, looking me directly but gently in the eyes. He said that I was doing a great job and that he was proud of me. Then he was gone. Shocked, I managed to call thank you to his retreating back. I'm very rarely a crier but I burst into tears and had to stifle what threatened to turn into loud messy sobs to avoid upsetting my DC.

It seems such an unusual and unexpected thing for a stranger to say that they are proud of someone. I have often wondered who he was and I'll never forget it. I walked on taller that day. It made a difference to me and I remind myself of it on the hardest days.

Chenecinquantecinq · 17/06/2025 21:18

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Chenecinquantecinq · 17/06/2025 21:19

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gezzab33 · 17/06/2025 21:36

I was 26 and had just lost both my parents . I had no friends as I'd moved away from a place I'd been sexually assaulted and not believed and I had a dead end job to pay rent but was about to be homeless. A girl who had left the job a month before asked to meet up for a drink. I was so excited to be doing something normal and I got ready and rushed into town. She stood me up and didnt answer her phone when I called. It was just the last straw. I hailed a cab and blurted it out to the driver. He was like an angel. He was so kind to me and told me none of it was my fault. Nobody had been kind to me in ages so I held on to how lovely he had been for a long time. I would love to thank him.

LiquoriceStick · 17/06/2025 21:42

I was doing very badly and was referred to mental health services.

I had a phone call assessment with the most wonderful lady who listened and validated everything I told her.

It was the first time in years anyone had shown any kindness to me.

Without being dramatic, she saved my life, I was planning on quietly ending it that day.

Frenzi · 17/06/2025 21:44

Not life changing by any means but something I will never forget.

On the day of my dads funeral I came home to a beautifully wrapped box of expensive chocolates on the doorstep with a card that just said thinking of you.

Ten years later and I still have no idea who they were from but it was such a lovely thought.

Lindyl · 17/06/2025 21:46

Great post. Ok, I rang the Samaritans one day, struggling with issues with daughter, a relationship split and life in general. I was very low and needed to talk, not having anyone I’m like call on.

I was disappointed to hear a male voice answer my call but carried on regardless. He was lovely, listened to the sorry story and was engaging. His kindness shone through and before ending the call I asked his name. Ritchie, you’ll never know how much you helped me that day and I’ve thought of our conversation often. If anyone knows a guy called Ritchie who is a Samaritans volunteer, please tell him thank you!

Ummmmmerrrrr · 17/06/2025 21:51

I let the surgeon who saved my life know I was still here 15 years later.

Mothersfaith3 · 17/06/2025 21:59

Definitely let him know. I once dropped a thank you card to a GP years later I had even moved to thank them.

I'd been struggling with debilitating symptoms in my 20s. I saw countless GPs over months and was dismissed because I looked young, thin, healthy and they thought I must be exaggerating. He just said "if you think there's something wrong, I believe you and will refer you".

Turned out there was indeed something wrong which was resolved with a small procedure. It gave me back my quality of life and prevented me from developing cancer down the line, I now have regular monitoring.

So refreshing not to be dismissed on the basis of being young and female.

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