That phone call that changed my life

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Inspired by another thread on here. 3 years ago I was in a deeply unhappy relationship, I posted on here a lot at the time. Finally one day I was brave enough to fill in an online form on a solicitor website that Google threw up. I hadn’t done any research into the firm, didn’t know what I was doing, just knew I was unhappy, venting to mumsnet and things needed to change.

I had a conversation with a solicitor, it hadn’t been my plan that morning. He called me after I put in the form. He was so kind, and on it. He made the process seem so clear. I was worried about ownership of my dog- he didn’t think that was silly or the wrong thing to focus on. He just gave me excellent advice.

I wasn’t married, and so actually the process was quite simple. I never engaged his services. I just had that conversation which let me know the lay of the land and that was it.

I don’t think he knows that he changed my life, and I will be forever grateful. Probably one of a million conversations he’s had on the same vein, but for me that conversation means the world.

I can’t read this thread because the tears are blinding me.

I was leaving a job that I had given 6 years of my life to and was really sad about leaving but I'd set out much of what I wanted to accomplish and had done my best, had been offered an amazing new job but was in pieces about leaving. Someone random that I'd never met on Linked in messaged me to say how the work I had done had absolutely changed his life and his families life. It was so overwhelming and validating and proved beyond my expectation that what I'd worked for had had an impact. Still makes me well up to think about it. I was able to leave the job in a totally different frame of mind. I still think about that message now.

That’s wonderful. Something you hadn’t probably thought would be that special turned out to be so pivotal

In books and stories and movies, we always hear about "time travelers", and how, when they go back in time, the smallest deviation from what is there causes drastic changes to the future. I read recently that most people have heard that, but never stop to think that the smallest deviation NOW can change the future. The compliment, the kindness, the smallest thoughtful gesture can have profound impacts on the future. Maybe only one person's future, but who knows? Maybe with enough kindness, we can change the entire trajectory of the world. Let's try!

I was getting towards the end of my part-time OU degree, but was at a low point and feeling sorry for myself (I can't remember the exact details). I emailed my tutor for my current module to tell her I was quitting. She replied that it was bit of a shock so late in the module and could she ask why? Then, rather than waiting for a reply, she phoned me and talked me out of quitting.

After I graduated a year or two later, I emailed to thank her. The email didn't bounce back, but I didn't get a reply either, so I don't know if she received it. Due to her age, it's possible that she had retired.

When my son was diagnosed with his condition, it seemed almost no professionals knew anything about it. I was so fearful that I didn't want to ask some questions to the few professionals that had heard of it because I wasn't ready for the possible answers. I felt tremendous guilt about his condition and for a few months I felt like the world was crashing down around me, with no hope.

Then, Iate one night I found a single reference to a woman running a support group across the other side of the country. She had 2 boys with the same condition. Over the next few days, I must have rung her 15 times, but every time she picked up the phone, I put it down because I was so scared to vocalise everything inside me.

Eventually, I stayed on the call, and we spoke for about 3 hours. She was amazing - she still is. She now runs a national campaign with another mother, and I help her whenever I can. We've presented to the European Medical Agency, MPs, minsters, etc. She has driven a review into the condition and pushed until recommendations have been made to the MHRA and the government. We await a response!

She changed my life. She made me feel like I could advocate for my son, and she made me feel worthwhile and ready for a battle. I have so much to thank her for.

I love that so many posters have later thanked their person. I had a very inspiring form tutor at secondary school. Sadly she had a terrible accident and had to quit teaching, and years later I heard she’d written a book about her experience and recovery. I bought it on Amazon and left a glowing review of both the book and her as a teacher. I hope she saw it.

I wasn't there for this one, but my dad was - he rang Vodafone to cancel my mother's mobile contract as she had died. The man on the phone was very kind. My father asked if he should return the phone to them (as it wasn't paid off) and the man said "Please keep it sir, your loss is much greater than ours". My father cried after that conversation apparently (rare for him).

I had 2 miscarriages and was brushed off by the NHS. I was in a really low place and convinced that I would never be able to carry a baby to term. I was so desperate to have a baby, but worried about my fertility, so I paid to see a private consultant. He was beyond lovely. He listened and cared and told me not to give up hope and that he truly believed I would be a mum.one day. Just hearing that from him really helped me to dig deep and feel more hopeful and I soon fell pregnant. He was so lovely and personally scanned me 3 times in early pregnancy at his NHS clinic. I will never forget his kindness or how his words offered hope when I was in such a dark place.

I wrote two FB messages to thank the woman who changed my life and she never replied. Then I met her again after forty years and apologised for saying it all over again but I just had to tell her. It turned out she had never received the FB messages and was absolutely stunned that she meant so much to me. My life would be half what it is now if not for her.

I had a NHS planned section for my Ds (ivf baby after baby loss) as he was standing breech. But, I'd gone into labour early & he was on/off in distress.
I got bumped down the morning list for the section as there was a mum who'd arrived haemorrhaging & needed to go before me (small rural hospital, no staff)
I was fine with that of course but worried: he was born blue with cord around neck. I couldn't get a latch I was told he had a severe tongue tie & would never talk.I had no nappies, maternity bra, nothing. there was no support on the ward.

I was quietly sobbing in my cubicle when a hand holding a kleenex came through the curtains. It was a mum of 4. she asked if I was the 'one who kindly agreed to be bumped for the c-section' I said yes (although of course it was the Drs who'd made this- correct- decision). She said: 'thank you, that may have saved my life'. She gave me a hug, showed me how to latch my baby, how to wedge him in beside me, lent me an old fashioned gown for him to make nappy change easier. She said 'you will be a Wonderful Mum'. When her husband & kids came in the next day they all came to see my 'lovely baby' & said thanks.

I'm crying just thinking about it now, and it was 20 years ago.

What a lovely idea for a thread OP 😍 So glad you managed to get yourself out of an awful relationship. I hope you are much happier now.

Mine isn't just a phone call but something I think about a lot.
I have IVF twins against all the odds. I've never forgotten the consultant who called up one day and said, actually I think you've got a chance and there's a clinical trial, if you take part you can start next month. And we did.

And the embryologist who told us he'd chosen the two best embryos to put in, and that they were great quality and he was really pleased with them. And those are my twins, who are now teens.
I wonder if he knows how he changes lives. I don't even know his name.
He gave me a photo of them as 4 cell embryos. I'm sure a lot of people have these if they have IVF but I can hardly look at it as it blows my mind too much.

I did send a card after they were born though so hopefully he knows the impact he had 🥹

Mine was a nurse at Guy’s hospital. I’d just had wide area excision after a diagnosis of melanoma. I’d lost three close relatives to melanoma that year and the woman doing my op was utterly vile. She didn’t put enough anaesthetic in, and I screamed when she started cutting. She stopped and said “For God’s sake you can’t possibly feel that” and then carried on. I was crying and screaming, and when she had finished and sewed me up, I was still crying and shaking uncontrollably. I left the clinic, headed downstairs and bumped into a nurse, who asked me what was wrong. She took me to the cafe, bought me a cup of tea and sat with me while I calmed down and stopped shaking. I didn’t get her name, but the next time I needed another mole removed, it was a different surgeon who commented that there had been a complaint from a third party about my treatment last time “and apparently you need a lot more anaesthetic than normal people, and we need to check with you that you really are numb.” So grateful to that nurse for her kindness.

I am buzzing with feelings reading all of these. Excellent thread, excellent humans. Thank you all for sharing.

I faced a truly terrifying situation at home, which happened to be at about 2.30pm. The police and the NHS wouldn’t help me (both have since apologised in coroners court). But I rang ds’s school in a desperate bid to stop him coming home and opening the door into the middle of it. I spoke to the receptionist and gave her a message about what ds should do instead. I just had to trust that she would listen and take action - and she was the one person that day, of the numerous people I spoke to, who did. I genuinely think she saved ds’s life. At the very least she saved him from a terrible, traumatising experience.

Not a phone call but a random act of kindness that is in the vein of this thread.

Recently my daughter was travelling on the train from her friend’s house in Sussex, back to the west country where we live. She is 20 but has ASD and gets very anxious about travelling by herself. She was on the first train from Sussex when she came down with a horrendous sickness bug, both ends, and when she finally made it out of the toilet she was clearly in a bit of a state. A lady approached her to see if she was ok, and stayed with her until they got to the station in London (I think London Bridge) looking after her. She was a nurse and asked DD if she was autistic, as she had an autistic son and could recognise that she probably was. At the station DD was then meant to be getting tubes across town to Paddington for the train home, but clearly wasn’t in a fit state. The lady insisted on ordering an uber for her to Paddington, and wouldn’t hear of DD giving her any money. If you’re on here, you are an actual angel, and thank you so much for looking after DD in her hour of need.

Am I missing something? I don't see the point here. I don't understand what changed your life, or how.
Are you saying your life was changed by someone giving you some information that you didn't end up needing? Are you saying your life was changed by someone being nice to you - and if so, how did it change your entire life? And I don't understand what you're expecting people to vote on. Are you asking whether it's unreasonable to be grateful?

Similar to me, I thanked my orthopaedic surgeon for the birth of my son!
clumsily expressed but the surgery I had enabled me to walk better and enjoy socialising where I met my husband
I co presented with him on stage at a clinical case conference too, as my op hadn't been done on a person my age before( usually children!)

Not a p/call but a podcast. My mum was in a hospice on end of life and I was driving back and forth 2/3 times a day 45 minute each time. I’d never listened to a podcast before and I chose Chris and Rosie Ramseys, it was fairly new at the time and so funny and fresh. And they drew everyone in and created a little community. I would leave the hospice so sad then play this funny podcast and laugh and cry. It helped me so much through that dark time.

Oh mate. Hopefully you’re just having a bad day. I think the Americans would say”bless your heart”.

I think you've completely missed the point of this thread! Hopefully it's clearer to you this morning after reading all the lovely posts.

The World Wide Web was invented in 1989.

This is such a lovely thread. Often these "feel good" ones don't really take off but I've read every single post and have wiped away tears more than once. It makes me realise how even small acts of kindness can mean so much to people. Possibly life changing or just giving them a boost when they need it. And how much it can mean to someone to hear what their kindness meant.

I don't have anything monumental really. Though in 1997 I was having a horrendous time. I had just bought my first flat and a month after moving in I was made redundant, found out I was pregnant (unplanned) and then lost the baby. I was in a huge panic but I had an urge to try and turn my life around. Went to the careers centre to see what I could do about getting an on-the-job qualification. They suggested solicitor but all the part time learning courses were starting within 2 weeks so unless I could get all the paperwork requirements sorted immediately I would have to wait another year. Somehow I pulled everything together including a bank loan but one thing I didn't have was a reference from my former uni tutor. It was August and obviously he wasn't around. The admin lady for the department said there was one lecturer around working in research and as he had taught me for one module she suggested she ask him. He agreed and as time was short he sent the ref direct. It did the trick, I got on the course and after 6 years of evening law college and then a training contract I became a qualified solicitor.

In all the rush I hadn't thanked the lecturer for helping me out at the 11th hour but after I'd qualified I wrote him a thank you letter telling him that thanks to his help I had been able to succeed. I also told him how much i had enjoyed the module he had taught (media semiotics) and often thought about it. He had left the uni by then but the letter got forwarded to him at his new post and a few days later I got a postcard from him saying how delighted he was to hear from me, he was over the moon that he'd been able to help and also how brilliant it was to know i had enjoyed his subject.

Something else that occurred to me. I always feel a bit awkward when someone has been bereaved and worried about saying the wrong thing. I even worry that "I'm sorry for your loss", the correct thing to say sounds insincere coming out of my mouth because everyone says it. What I've done more recently is to tell the person (usually written in a card) my favourite memories of the person instead. A couple of people have told me how much it meant to them as it was so personal and felt like the person was brought to life in the memory for a moment. I'm probably not explaining that very well! But thought it might help to share in case anyone else gets tongue tied like me about saying the right thing.

And the nit-picker of the year award goes to….. 🙄

I don’t think internet dating existed in 2000.